Extraordinary Girl
by TreCoolLuver
Summary: How Remus and Tonks met and fell madly in love with each other!
1. The Meeting

Dislcaimer: Alas, I don't own any Harry Potter characters or it's affiliates. (Althought I wish I owned Remus, LOL).

A/N: Ok, this little fan fic. takes place pre-OOTP and during OOTP while Harry's in school and pre-HBP and during HBP while Harry's in school, too. So, don't read unless you've read HBP (but I guess you wouldn't know Lupin and Tonks get together unless you've read HBP). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my little ditty here. It's through Remus' point of view and how he meets Tonks and falls for her. This fan fic. was inspired by the songs, 'Extraordinary Girl' and 'She's A Rebel' by Green Day which is on their ninth album; the Grammy award-winning 'American Idiot'. If you haven't listened to it, do yourself a favor and listen! It's awesome! Anyway, on with the story!

Remus Lupin sighed and rolled over in his bed. He glanced at the clock and saw it was 5:32 in the morning. He might as well get up now. He would have to attend a meeting for the Order of the Phoenix at 7:00 a.m. and he always liked to give himself plenty of time to get ready. That and he couldn't get back to sleep. He slowly got out of his bed and got dressed in his shabby, patched robes. After he had gotten his shoes on, he went to the dresser, which had, a mirror attached to it and picked up his brush. When he had finished, he stared at the reflection he omitted. His blue eyes were clouded with tiredness and sadness, the scars on his face hid the handsome one that was beneath them and his shaggy, brown hair was streaked with premature gray. He sighed heavily and exited his room at Grimmauld Place.

He descended the stairs carefully and quietly and tiptoed towards the kitchen. He had to make sure that he didn't wake up the portrait of Mrs. Black, which would wake everyone else up and Remus was pretty sure no one was yet up. He was proven wrong, however, when he pushed open the kitchen door. Two redheads were seated at the table. One was a plump woman and the other was a balding man. They were Molly and Arthur Weasley. They had been sipping tea and talking when Remus walked in. They looked up.

"Morning Molly." Remus half-bowed. "Arthur."

"Morning Remus." Arthur greeted warmly.

"Please, sit down Remus. Are you hungry?" Molly asked. She made to get up from the table but Remus stopped her.

"I'm not that hungry Molly. But thanks for offering." He chuckled lightly.

Remus then took a seat next to Arthur as Molly settled herself back into her original position.

"Molly and I were just talking about the meeting today." Arthur informed him. "I wonder why it's so early?"

Remus shrugged. "I haven't the faintest idea."

Molly looked at him worriedly. "Remus, are you sure I can't make you something? You look very thin."

Remus knew Molly took it upon herself to look after everyone and Remus more than appreciated her concern.

"I'm fine Molly, really. But thanks for your concern." He told her kindly. Molly still had the worry etched in her green eyes but didn't say anymore.

Seven o'clock finally came and soon the kitchen was filled with many people. Some were Aurors, some Ministry workers and others, like Remus, who were only too happy to join. There was one of Remus' best friends, Sirius Black, who sat next to him at the table, Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody, an ex-Auror and one of the best the Ministry ever had, Kingsley Shacklebolt a tall, bald black Auror who Remus had only met a few times, Elphius Doge, a wheezy-voiced wizard; Remus had talked to him quite often, Minerva McGonagall who was the Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, Severus 'Snevillus' Snape, the Potions Master at the same school and many others. Sirius looked darkly as the hook nosed, greasy haired Potions Master entered the kitchen. Snape and Sirius were mortal enemies ever since school. Remus, Sirius, James and Peter, AKA The Marauders, had tortured Snape when they had been at school, a matter Snape had yet to forget.

Remus had met everyone in the Order; or so he thought. There was a new face swimming among the familiar ones. She was a young woman, no older than 25 or so. She had ink-black hair that fell a little past her shoulders and bright green eyes that reminded Remus of Lily.

"Is everyone present and accounted for?" A voice rang out through the crowded kitchen. Silence gradually fell as a murmur of 'yes' echoed. "Excellent." The voice said. It turned out to belong to an elderly wizard with long, silver hair and a beard to match. He had half-moon spectacles that settled on his long, crooked nose; he had on dark blue robes with tiny sparkly stars on them with a matching hat. This man was, of course, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and head of the Order of the Phoenix. "Now, we have much to discuss." Dumbledore said importantly. "First off, I'd like to welcome our newest member, Nymphadora Tonks." Dumbledore motioned towards the woman with the ink-black hair. She scowled heavily. "Oh-sorry. She prefers to be called by her surname, Tonks." He added. Tonks' scowl lightened immediately to a smile.

Remus didn't know why Tonks preferred to be addressed by her surname. Nymphadora was a beautiful name. Ah well, she was a woman, after all and women were always a very strange study to him. Remus had been so busy pondering why Tonks preferred her surname that he nearly missed Dumbledore's next announcement.

"…And I believe it is time to go and retrieve young Harry Potter from his aunt and uncle's."

There was a murmur of agreement and nodding.

"If I may Albus?" Moody spoke, his magical blue eye swirling madly around. Dumbledore inclined his head slightly. "I think there should be an Advance Guard to go and get young Potter, you never know where Death Eaters or Voldemort (there was a shudder at the sound of the name; not shared by Remus, Sirius or Dumbledore) himself are lurking." He said darkly.

Everyone knew that Mad Eye was a little more than paranoid. He always thought Death Eaters and dark wizards were lurking behind every corner and he was very cautious; he only drank from his hip flask, which he carried with him everywhere.

Dumbledore looked as if he were thinking for a moment before replying. "I believe you have a point Alastor. Very well. Do we have any volunteers?" He asked.

"I'll go." Remus spoke up at once. He hadn't seen Harry for nearly two years. It would be nice to see him again.

Dumbledore smiled warmly at him. "I knew you would Remus. Anyone else?"

"I'll do it!" Kingsley Shacklebolt said, raising his hand.

"Me too!" Elphias Doge added.

"Count me in!" Deaduls Diggle added.

"Of course I'll do it!" Emmeline Vance said excitedly.

"I'm definitely doing it!" Hestia Jones said.

"I'd love to go!" The woman called Tonks spoke. It was the first time she had spoken since being introduced by Dumbledore. She sounded positively thrilled.

"I'll go Dumbledore." Sirius offered. His brown eyes were filled with a sparkle of hope; something Remus hadn't seen a while. His skin was white and he was awfully thin and he always looked depressed and sad. Twelve years in Azkaban will do that to you, after all. But his sense of humor was as strong as ever.

Dumbledore eyed him sadly. "I'm sorry Sirius but seeing as your still a wanted man-"

"Yea, yea, I know. I gotta say here." Sirius finished dully.

Remus felt awfully sorry for his friend. Sirius had been cooped up in this dreadfully depressing place for the past couple of months. It must be awful to be stuck in the place you had escaped from so long ago; not expecting to ever come back. And Remus knew Sirius would have loved to go and get his godson, he hadn't seen him for a few months and Remus knew Sirius missed him terribly. But Sirius would be able to see him shortly.

By the end of the meeting, the Advance Guard had been selected. It consisted of Remus, Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, Elphius Doge, Peadalus Diggle, Sturgis Podmore, Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones. Remus was actually surprised so many people had volunteered to go and get Harry. He figured they had all probably wanted a chance to meet The Boy Who Lived.

"Well, I think that's everything. Alastor here will meet with the Advance Guard in a couple of days to discuss getting Harry. Until we all meet again." Dumbledore finished by bowing slightly, clearly indicating the meeting was over.

Most of the Order filed out of the kitchen. All who was left was Remus, Sirius, Molly, Arthur and the new girl, Tonks. She strolled over to the table where Remus, Sirius and Arthur were sitting while Molly was up preparing breakfast for everyone.

"Hello Sirius." Tonks greeted warmly.

"Ah, Nymphadora!" Sirius replied.

She eyed him darkly. "You _know_ I prefer to be called Tonks."

Sirius chuckled. "Sorry Nymphadora." He teased.

She scowled heavily but there was a twitch in the corners of her mouth as if she was trying to hold back a smile.

"Oh, this is one of my best friends, Remus Lupin." Sirius introduced them. "Remus, this is my cousin, Nymphadora."

"_Tonks_." She corrected him while offering her hand to Remus. "Nice to meet you." She added.

"You too." He replied kindly, taking her offered hand. He noticed her fingernails were covered in a fresh coat of black nail polish.

She took a seat across from the two remaining Marauders (Arthur was busy reading a Muggle comic book called, "Archie") and screwed up her face in concentration. Remus was shocked to see that Tonks' ink-black hair instantly changed to a deep shade of violet and it shortened a little. Her eyes stayed the same.

"I'm a Metamorphmagus." Tonks laughed lightly, apparently seeing the stunned look on Remus' lightly scarred face.

"Oh." Was all he said.

She yawned and stretched. "Well, I better get to work…ugh!" She finished irritably.

"Where do you work?" Remus found himself asking. He found Tonks fascinating for some reason, like he'd never met anyone like her. Well…he hadn't.

"The Ministry" She said glumly. "I'm an Auror." She added more brightly.

"Really?" Remus was a little surprised. "You seem awfully young." He said. "No offense." He quickly added.

She giggled. "That's alright. I only just passed my test." She said. "I thought for sure I'd fail."

Sirius chuckled. "I'm surprised you didn't."

"Ha ha." She added sarcastically although she smiled. "I nearly failed Stealth and Tracking."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sirius smiled.

Tonks laughed. Remus didn't know what was so funny.

"I'm dead clumsy and a real goof." Tonks told Remus, looking at him. "But I got top marks in Concealment and Disguise of course. I didn't even have to study." She added brightly, a hint of pride in her voice. She looked at her watch. "Well, I'd better get going or my boss'll have a conniption fit." She got up. "Bye Sirius."

"See you cuz." He replied warmly.

"It was very nice to meet you Remus." She said.

"Likewise." He replied.

"Oh, are you sure you won't stay for some breakfast dear?" Molly asked, seeing Tonks get up.

"Oh no, I'm fine." She said cheerfully. "Bye everyone." She waved and turned towards the door but tripped on the hem of her robes. "AHHH!" She wailed as she fell through the swinging kitchen door.

Remus and Arthur immediately got up and rushed towards the fallen Auror while Sirius howled with laughter. Molly gave him a stern look. Meanwhile, the portrait of Sirius' mom wailed.

"FILTHY HALF-BLOODS! BLOOD TRAITORS! HALF-BREEDS! FILTHY SCUM IN MY HOUSE!"

"Oops, sorry." Tonks said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it." Remus reassured her, helping her to her feet while Arthur and Sirius went to shut up Mrs. Black.

"Thanks." She said sheepishly. "I hope I didn't wake the kids."

"Oh don't worry about it dear. It's about time for them to get up anyway." Molly reassured her, turning back to the sizzling bacon on the stove.

"Accidents happen." Remus told her, smiling kindly.

She smiled back, her smiled reaching her eyes, which turned to the same blue as Remus'. "I like your eyes." She said happily.

"Thank you." Remus said slowly. No one had ever complimented his eyes before.

"We shut her up." Sirius announced. He and Arthur were back.

"Sorry." Tonks repeated.

"Don't worry about it Nymphadora." Sirius said.

Tonks sighed through gritted teeth but a smile on her lips. "Bye." She laughed lightly.

"She's nice." Remus commented after Tonks had gone and they were all sitting; except Mrs. Weasley who was still busy making breakfast.

"She's a hoot." Sirius said fondly as Arthur returned to his Muggle comic book. "She was always my favorite cousin."

Remus understood why. Tonks was unlike any of the Blacks to whom she was related. She was bubbly and cheerful and she obviously hated the Dark Arts. She seemed the type of person to always look on the bright side of things; a quality that Remus wished he had. It should be fun getting to know her, he thought, as Hermione and Ginny entered the kitchen, rubbing their eyes sleepily.

A/N: Well, that was Chapter 1. What did you think? Should I continue or should I just go take a long walk off a short cliff? Please tell me what you think.


	2. Late Night Talks

Disclaimer: I thought I said this before but oh well, here we go again. I DO NOT own Harry Potter or anything to do with it. I own absolutely nothing except for the merchandise that I purchased, but that's it!

A/N: Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm glad you all enjoyed Chapter 1. Now I had a bit of a writer's block for Chapter 2 so I hope I didn't make this too boring. I wanted to establish Hermione's and Ginny's fascination and respect for Tonks and Remus getting to know her as well. Ok, enough of my rambling, on with the story!

Later that night, Remus could be found in the kitchen eating dinner along with Sirius, Hermione, Molly, Arthur and their children, Ginny, Ron and their twins; Fred and George.

"Wonderful meal dear." Arthur said, dabbing his mouth with his napkin.

"Indeed." Remus agreed.

"Why thank you boys." Molly gushed as she cleared everyone's empty plates from the table.

Just then Tonks apparated in the kitchen right in front of Molly who almost fell over.

"Oh Tonks!" Molly gasped, still managing to cling on to the plates.

"Oops! Sorry about that Molly." Tonks said. "Here, let me help with those." She grabbed some of the plates from Molly's hands.

"Oh-well…" Molly said, surprised by Tonks' offer.

Tonks stumbled, however, on her way to the sink and fell very ungraciously onto the floor, plates shattering into tiny pieces all over. Sirius, the twins and Ron started laughing very heartily while Remus, Hermione and Ginny rushed to help.

"Are you ok?" Ginny asked as she and Remus both lifted Tonks up off the floor.

"Yea, I'm fine. Sorry about that Molly." Tonks replied.

"It's alright." Molly exasperated as Hermione put the rest of the unbroken plates in the sink while Molly uttered a simple "_Repairo_" and the broken pieces instantly repaired themselves.

"Now you see why Nymphadora almost failed Stealth and Tracking." Sirius laughed as Fred, George and Ron howled with more laughter.

"That's enough Sirius." Molly warned darkly.

Tonks flinched a little at the sound of her first name but then laughed lightly. "It's ok Molly. I am a klutz after all." Hermione and Ginny giggled.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked concernedly.

"Oh yes, I'm fine." She brushed off easily. "I'm Tonks by the way." She added, nodding to Hermione and Ginny.

"Mum told us all about you." Ginny said in awe.

"Is it true you're a Metamorphmagus?" Hermione asked amazed.

Tonks blushed slightly but nodded. "Yes, I can change anything about my appearance at will." She said proudly.

The girls 'ooed' and 'awed'. "Could you show us?" Ginny asked, excitement gleaming in her eyes.

"Sure." Tonks said as she walked over to the table with Ginny and Hermione at her heels.

Remus couldn't help but smile. Tonks was obviously very good with children and Remus could understand why children would be impressed by her. She had a very bright and bubbly personality and she clearly didn't take herself too seriously. Remus caught himself staring at the young Auror as she concentrated hard and changed from a platinum blonde with bright blue eyes and a long, slender nose to a short-haired brunette with a short, squat nose to tremendous applause by the whole table.

Nearly two hours later, Molly made the children get up to bed. Ginny and Hermione protested; they had been having a great time getting to know young Tonks and they had even requested certain appearances which she was only too happy to do. Eventually, Molly got the two girls upstairs and Arthur left to do his guard duty for the Order (he had the night shift this evening) leaving Remus in the company of Sirius and Tonks.

"Those girls were so sweet." Tonks gushed as she screwed up her face in concentration once again so that her current waist-long black hair and brown eyes transformed into a shoulder-length bright pink hairstyle and light purple eyes.

"They really seemed to find you fascinating." Remus commented. Of course, it was no wonder. Tonks was a fascinating person all around, and not only because she could change her appearance at will. She was unlike most girls Remus had ever met whose main concern was their hair or how they looked. Tonks seemed to only care about making people laugh and having a good time, regardless of how she appeared. Perhaps that was why he was so keen on getting to know her.

"I don't see what's so fascinating about a clumsy Auror who can't get through a day without tripping over or breaking something." Sirius said, a grin on his face.

Tonks smiled at him. "Hey, I'll have you know that I went the whole day without tripping over or breaking anything before the whole incident with Molly and the plates."

"Whoa, that's gotta be a world record for you Nymphadora." Sirius replied, acting very impressed.

Remus laughed at the irritated look on Tonks' face. "Why do you insist on being called by your surname anyway? I think Nymphadora is a lovely name." He asked.

Tonks looked momentarily stunned by Remus' comment. "Well, no one's ever said they actually liked my name before." Tonks said. "But I happen to think it is quite a ridiculous name. My mother was a bit of a fool."

Sirius scoffed lightly. "Well, at least you didn't have a mom that despised you." He said.

Tonks immediately became quite, as did Remus. Sirius never talked about his family, as far as he was concerned he was no relation to the 'pure-blooded' Blacks.

"So…how was work today Nymph-I mean Tonks." Remus said, eager to change the awkward vibe in the room.

"Oh. Same old same old, nothing but pushing papers." She sighed dully. "I suppose they don't want me to do any real work since I'm so young."

"That and the Ministry doesn't think Aurors have much to do since they refuse to believe Voldemort is, in fact, back." Sirius said.

Tonks shuddered at the mention of Voldemort's name.

"Oh come on Nymphadora, don't tell me you're one of those people who refuse to call Voldemort by his real name?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.

Tonks chose to ignore this comment and instead talked directly to Remus. "So, Remus, what do you do?" She looked at him, a curious expression plastered on her pretty face.

"Me? I, well, I…am mostly a member for the Order." Remus stuttered slightly. Truth was, he didn't actually have an occupation. Thanks to Ministry officials, such as Dolores Umbridge, werewolves couldn't exactly find a steady job.

Tonks frowned slightly. "That's all? Surely, you have a regular job?"

"Well…I was a teacher at Hogwarts a few years ago." Remus said.

"Ooo, how interesting." Tonks eyes glittered. "I never really liked school that much. I suppose it would be fun to go and teach. What subject did you teach?" She asked. Remus was surprised that Tonks seemed to find him as interesting as he found her.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts." He replied.

"And he was the best damn one that Hogwarts ever had." Sirius added.

Remus flushed lightly. "I wouldn't say that-"

"Oh, hippogriff feathers!" Sirius said. "Did you know Nymphadora that it was Remus here who taught Harry the Patronus Charm?"

"Really?" Tonks' interest seemed to grow. "So you were the one who taught him that, eh? That's mighty impressive, teaching a thirteen year old such an advance spell. You must be really good." Remus blushed a little deeper shade of crimson at this compliment. "Boy, I wish I had you for a teacher when I was at school."

Remus chuckled lightly.

"I don't think Remus could've handled you." Sirius said.

Tonks scoffed, a smile upon her lips. "That's right, I forgot that you were just the little angels when you were at school."

Sirius laughed. "Ah, back in those days, when the Marauders ruled the school." He had a faraway look in his eye.

Remus felt himself be drifted away by the memories of his school years, running around, causing trouble with Sirius, James and Peter. That had easily been the happiest times of Remus' life. It saddened Remus suddenly as he came back to the present where James was dead, Peter was a traitor and Sirius was a wanted murderer.

"Well, I think I'll get on to bed." Sirius said suddenly, the familiar sadness appearing in his voice. "Good night." He said and before either Remus or Tonks could say another word, he apparated. No doubt, he was in the attic with Buckbeak.

"Oh dear, did I say something?" Tonks asked worriedly.

"No, I'm sure he's just tired." Remus tried to reassure her. But Remus knew that it was in fact Tonks' mention of Sirius' school days that he had suddenly excused himself but Remus wasn't about to tell her that.

"Well, I always seem to say the wrong thing." She said glumly. This was the first time Remus had seen her look somewhat crestfallen.

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with you." Remus told her with a smile.

She smiled back. "So, Remus, tell me a little about yourself." She sat up straighter and pierced Remus with her light purple eyes.

Remus was taken aback. Why did she want to know about him? He was nothing special, he had no special abilities, unless of course you counted him being able to turn into a bloodthirsty beast once a month. "Well…what would you like to know?" He asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. What do you like to do for fun? How did you come to join the Order? What are your hobbies? Things like that." She finished with a smile.

Remus was speechless. No one had ever asked him these things before, except for maybe the Marauders. "Well…"

So Remus and Tonks talked. They talked about everything, from what each other's favorite food was to Voldemort's return. Remus found it extremely easy to talk to the clumsy witch. She was funny, interesting and very smart. She obviously thought the same about Remus. Finally, many hours later, Remus felt the first twinge of tiredness envelope him. He yawned.

Tonks giggled and then yawned herself. "Oh my, I'm so tired. What time is it?" She looked at her watch. "Merlin's beard! It's nearly three in the morning!"

"Really? Where did the time go?" Remus asked surprised by the early hour.

"I don't know but I better get going. I gotta be at work in a few hours." She said lightly.

"Oh, I hope I didn't keep you up." Remus said apologetically. He would feel awful if he had kept Tonks from getting a restful night's sleep because he didn't know when to shut up.

She laughed. "Oh no, I enjoyed talking with you."

Remus smiled. "Me too."

"Well, I guess I'll see you around Remus." She got up from the table, as did Remus. "I hope we can talk again."

"Same here." He said.

"Good night." She said cheerfully.

"Night." He said and he watched as she apparated, likely back to her flat.

He yawned and trudged quietly up the stairs into his room. What a lovely person Tonks was. He wished they would've gone to school together, they would have most likely been great friends. Remus couldn't get his mind off of young Tonks as he climbed sleepily into bed and fell asleep.

The past couple days past with Tonks visiting Grimmauld Place every night, much to Hermione's, Ginny's and Remus' delight. She entertained them all with various transformations. And Remus got to know her a little bit more as he talked to her late into the night.

Finally, Moody called the Advance Guard for a meeting to discuss retrieving Harry from his aunt and uncle's.

"We need a plan to get the Muggles out of the house, giving us plenty of time to go and get young Potter without confrontation." Moody was to be heard saying at the meeting.

"How about we just place a simple Memory Charm on them?" Emmeline Vance suggested.

Moody's blue eye swiveled madly and surveyed Emmeline. "No good. We want to get Harry using as little magic as possible."

"What if we just apparated into his bedroom?" Sturgis Podmore asked.

Again, Moody's blue magical eye surveyed Sturgis then swirled around madly in its socket. "That's no good either. The Ministry is most likely keeping tabs on all apparitions and all the Floo Networks."

"I've got an idea." Tonks said from beside Remus suddenly. Everyone turned around to look at her, including the magical eye, which got stuck while swirling.

"Confounded thing. It always sticks since that little puke wore it." Moody growled, popping out his eye and heading towards the sink. Remus saw Tonks give a look that suggested that she might be sick. "Well, on with it then." Moody ordered, still facing the sink.

"Right, well from what I've heard from these Muggles, they're really clean and prideful." Tonks went on.

"Your point?" Moody asked, turning around and facing the Guard, his blue eye swimming madly in a glass of water.

Tonks gave another sick look. Remus had to stifle a laugh. "Well, what if we sent them a letter through Muggle post saying they've won some sort of…I don't know…an All-England Best-Kept…Suburban Lawn Competition?" She suggested slowly.

Moody was silent for a moment while he popped his magic eye ball back in it's socket. "That's not a half bad idea Tonks. I like it." He said, a creepy smile appearing on his very scarred face.

Tonks' face slowly formed a smile. There was a murmur of agreement and nods around the room.

"Very well, it's settled. Tonks, you write the letter and send it through Muggle post. Then when the Muggles leave to accept their 'prize', we'll be free to go and retrieve Potter." Moody said. "Right. That's all for now and remember everyone: Constant Vigilance!" He growled as everyone filed out of the room or apparated.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Constant Vigilance. Doesn't he have anything better to say?" She asked Remus.

"I saw that miss." Moody said, his back on both of them.

Tonks blushed faintly while Remus laughed.

A/N: I know it's not that long but like I said, I had a bit of a writer's block. This is my first shot at a Remus/Tonks story and I just don't want to screw it up and have you all arrive at my house with pitchforks and torches. Well, please please review! Please? gives puppy dog eyes.


	3. The Truth Shall Set You Free

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns every right to Harry Potter. I am making no money on this, I simply write this for fun.

A/N: Firstly, thanks to all the reviewers who reviewed my story! You guys all rock hands all her reviewers a large, yummy, delicious cookie. Thanks you guys and please keep reviewing, it keeps me motivated. Now I know this story seems to be going kind of slow but I don't think Remus immeditely fell head over heels in love with Tonks or vice versa. First they have to get to know each other. But I promise,the romance will soon blossom! Until then, here's chapter 3!

Remus wiped the sweat from his brow. He and Sirius had been chasing out all the boggarts in the drawing room for the past hour and they were now up to destroying 18. Remus had no idea so many boggarts could lurk in one place.

"Bloody hell, I'm beat." Sirius sighed heavily, still holding his wand at the ready.

Remus nodded in agreement as a shiny orb came into view suddenly. "_Riddikulus!_" Remus shouted, pointing his wand towards it. The shiny orb deflated instantly then exploded, as Sirius' Dementor became a shriveled up piece of cloth.

"I think that's finally all of them." Sirius sighed.

"Oh thank heavens." Remus said. He was dead tired and he wanted nothing more than to go upstairs to his welcoming bed and pass out for a couple of hours.

"Well, I've got to go feed Buckbeak." Sirius said.

"Alright." Remus said.

In a faint "_pop!"_ Sirius was gone. Remus made his way to the kitchen, planning on getting a nice glass of water then going upstairs for a much needed rest while Molly and the children finished up in the library. Remus pushed the swinging kitchen door forward and was met with a very pleasant site. Tonks was seated at the kitchen table, brow furrowed in concentration and her face bent over, what looked like, a letter. She had long black hair with deep blue eyes today. She looked up as Remus entered.

"Wotcher Remus." She greeted happily.

"Hello Tonks." Remus responded kindly. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work today?" He asked, peering at the letter briefly before turning around and getting a glass.

"Oh, I have today off so I figured that I should finish writing the letter to Harry's aunt and uncle. Tell me what you think." She said as she stood up and walked over to Remus, holding up the letter.

"Shoot." He said, filling a glass with water and bringing it to his lips.

"Ok,

_Dear Mr. And Mrs. Dursley,_

_It is my pleasure to inform you that you have won the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. Please call upon 13 Square Garden London at 5:00 p.m. immediately after receiving this letter in order to claim your prize. We look forward to meeting you and presenting you with a trophy and plaque. Best wishes_

All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Committee 

What do you think?" She asked after she had read the letter.

"Sounds good to me." Remus said, placing the now empty glass in the sink.

"I hope so. I sure hope they take the bait. I hate writing formal letters, especially to Muggles." She said, folding the letter neatly into squares.

"I'm sure they will. You've got nothing to worry about." Remus said friendly.

Tonks beamed at him. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." She said as she turned back to the table. She tripped, however, over her feet and Remus had to lunge forward to catch her before she fell.

"Watch it." He said, pulling Tonks up.

"Thanks." She said, brushing herself off after Remus had let her go. "Told you I was a klutz." She grinned.

Remus laughed lightly. "There's nothing wrong with that."

Tonks smiled as she walked back to the table and placed the letter neatly in a Muggle envelope and licked it shut. She made a disgusting face. "I hate the way these things taste. It's so disgusting!" She stuck out her tongue. Remus couldn't help but laugh at the face Tonks had made. She smiled at him. "Well, I'd better get this in the mail ASAP. The sooner we get Harry, the better." She waved the letter around. "Say, you wouldn't want to accompany me to the Muggle post office, would ya?" She asked.

Remus thought briefly about his warm, comfortable bed awaiting him upstairs but he just couldn't refuse those blue eyes. "Sure, why not?" He gave in.

Tonks looked delighted. "Oh good, I am awful at mailing Muggle post." She said as she gathered up her cloak, which was lying on the table. "Ready?" She cheerfully asked after she had wrapped it around her neck.

"Ready." Remus replied, holding the door open for Tonks.

"Where are you two going?" Molly asked, emerging from the library and looking very sweaty and dirty. She and the kids had been in there all day.

"Just to the Muggle post office to mail this letter to Harry's aunt and uncle." Tonks informed her, holding up the letter.

Molly smiled slightly at them. "Oh…ok." She said, still smiling at them.

Why was Molly smiling like that? "We'll be back soon." Remus told her, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Take your time, take your time." Molly gushed.

Tonks raised an eyebrow towards Remus who returned it with a flabbergasted look of his own. They chose to ignore Molly's strange behavior and walked out of Grimmauld Place. It was a lovely summer afternoon. It wasn't too hot but not too cold.

"Are you alright Remus?" Tonks asked from beside him. She fixed him with a concerned look.

"Yes." He said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Are you sure, you look a bit peaky." Concern etched in her voice.

Remus smiled kindly at her. "I'm fine, just a little tired I guess." This was only the half of it though. In five days would be the full moon and Remus always felt rather ill around that time. But there was no way he was about to divulge that information to Tonks, least not just now. He barely knew her, after all.

Tonks still looked concerned but she didn't bring up Remus' health again. They were right outside of the post office when Remus realized that they were not in Muggle attire. "Hold it Tonks." He held out a hand to stop her from entering. "We're not in Muggle clothes." He said, looking down at his own shaggy robes.

Tonks bit her lip. "Damn. Well, I didn't walk all the way here just to turn around." She said matter-of-factly. And with that she started walking towards the doors.

"Tonks!" Remus called after her, grabbing her arm and spinning her around so that they were face to face. "We can't just go in there in our robes. The Muggles will find it very unusual." He said, lowering his voice as a couple of passing Muggles whispered and looked at the wizard and witch.

Tonks scoffed. "Look, you can wait out here if you like, but I'm going in. If anyone asks, I'm in a play." She said. Before Remus could grab her again, she marched off towards the post office doors.

Remus had no choice but to follow her. What if a Muggle questioned her and didn't believe her excuse about being in a play? What if a Death Eater was lurking inside, ready to pounce on anyone? He walked quickly to catch up with the young witch and tried to ignore the stares and whispers from the Muggles. Remus couldn't help but be a little awed by Tonk's boldness and braveness. She was definitely a rebel.

"Ah, glad you've decided to join." Tonks said, noticing Remus at her heels, a satisfied smile on her lips.

"Well, I just figured…you'd need somebody to back up your story about a play." Remus said sheepishly.

Tonks laughed and the two entered the post office. They entered the lobby where thousands of little post office boxes were built into the wall. Along one of the walls were two large mail slots. One read: Local and the other read :Out of Town.

"I wonder which one this goes into?" Tonks wondered aloud as she withdrew the letter she had written earlier from her inside pocket.

Remus didn't have the faintest idea. His father had been a Muggle but he had never set foot in a Muggle post office before and he wasn't quite sure how Muggle post worked. Remus tried to remember Muggle Studies but he couldn't remember anything about how to mail a regular letter. "I think it goes in the Out of Town slot Tonks." He finally said.

Tonks looked at him. "You think?"

Remus nodded. "Yea, I think so. Surrey isn't local so it can only be the other slot couldn't it?"

Tonks smiled and shrugged. "Well, if you think so." She pushed the letter into the slot. "I hope they get it soon." She said as her and Remus turned to exit the post office, followed by stares by the Muggles.

"Well, that wasn't so bad now was it?" Tonks said after her and Remus were well out of earshot of other Muggles.

"No, but that was very rash of you Tonks. To go into a Muggle-filled building in your robes? What would Moody say?" Remus looked at her.

Tonks looked at him. "You went with me so you'd be just as guilty as I would be if we had been caught." She teased.

Remus smiled. They reached numbers 11 and 13 and they each concentrated on the address of number 12. Within seconds, number 12 squeezed in between the other two houses. Remus and Tonks walked up the steps and into the kitchen. Molly and the kids must still be in the library.

"Well, thanks for accompanying me Remus." She said.

"Anytime." He replied.

Just then, Severus Snape entered the kitchen. His greasy hair was parted in front of his face and his hooked nose. He was carrying a goblet full of liquid, which was smoking faintly.

"Oh, Severus!" Tonks said happily.

Severus peered at her with his black eyes and half-bowed. He then turned his glance towards Remus, dislike carved into his face. "Here's your ah-potion." He said, handing the goblet over with his infamous sneer.

Remus would have loved to punch Severus right then. Why did he have to present him with the Wolfsbane Potion now, in front of Tonks, who didn't know about his being a werewolf? Remus felt slightly embarrassed and ashamed as he took the smoking concoction from Severus.

"Thank you Severus." He said curtly.

"I've made an entire cauldron full so if you run out-" Severus said. He then turned and his black cloak billowed behind him as he exited the kitchen.

"What was all that about?" Tonks asked curiously.

Remus really didn't want to look at Tonks and explain but he figured now was as good as time as any to tell her the truth. "Tonks, I think maybe you should take a seat." He motioned toward the table and he led Tonks over to a chair. "You see Tonks," Remus began, setting the smoking goblet every so carefully onto the table and taking a seat next to her, "I'm…not like most wizards…or men for that matter." Tonks looked at him with her deep blue eyes. Remus hated telling people about his condition but he knew Tonks was going to find out sooner or later and she might as well as hear it from him than somebody else. "You see…" He trailed off and looked down at the table.

"What is it Remus? You can trust me. You can tell me anything." She said kindly.

Remus took a deep breath and forced himself to look Tonks in the eye. "I'm…a werewolf." He said, feeling very ashamed.

There was a moment of silence and Tonks had an unreadable look on her face. Suddenly she broke out into soft laughter. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? And either way, it was rather inappropriate time to be laughing out loud.

"Is that all?" She said lightly. Remus was stunned. "I thought you were going to tell me you were dying or that you were a Death Eater or something." She giggled.

Suddenly, Remus was filled with happiness. He had only met three other people who didn't take his condition too seriously and those had been his fellow Marauders. "So…you're not…frightened?" He asked, not daring believe his luck in finding another person who was open-minded.

She giggled again. "Of course not. Why would I ever be scared of _you_ Remus Lupin?" She laughed again and Remus found himself laughing along with her. "I better get going though, I may be off but I have a long report ahead of me." She sighed heavily. "I'll see you tonight though. Take care Remus and get some rest, you look like you could collapse at any moment." She said.

Remus chuckled lightly. "I will." Tonks got up and made to exit the door but Remus stopped her. "Tonks?" He said.

"Yea?" She asked, stopping and turning around in front of the door she was about to open.

"Thank you." He smiled kindly. "Thank you for not being repulsed by me or running away."

Tonks smiled warmly. "No problem Remus. It's not your fault and it's not fair that people judge you just based on that alone." Remus felt a strong surge of affection and appreciation towards his newfound friend.

"Thank you." He repeated.

She smiled, "Bye." And with that she was gone.

Remus turned back to his smoking goblet and sighed. He took a big gulp of the potion and felt like gagging the moment the liquid had entered his mouth. Pity that they couldn't make this taste better. Ah well, he thought, if this foul tasting potion helped him become less of a beast once a month, he would take it gratefully. He gulped more of the potion again and felt very grateful for Sirius, for Tonks and for being surrounded by people who cared for him, despite what he turned into. He finished off the goblet and trudged sleepily back upstairs to his inviting bed and collapsed onto it, clothes and shoes still on, and fell into a very peaceful sleep.

A/N: Well, there's Chapter 3. Did you like? Please let me know (good or bad). Well, I'm out, it's nearly 3:30 a.m. and I need to give my wee brain a rest but please pretty please review. Thanks.


	4. Full Moon Blues

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all rights belong to the beautiful and talented J.K. Rowling, who is an inspiration and a genious.

A/N: Thank you everyone for your reviews. You have no idea how much I appreciate you taking a little time out of your day to read and review my story here. And I would like to especially thank playingintraffic113 for commenting me on my writing skills, thank you so much. I am currently writing a book and hope to be an author so your comment meant ALOT to me. Thank you and I would also like to give my kudos to Loonie Potter for being a fellow Green Day fan, rock on! Anyways, on with the story. I hope you all like this chapter, I had lots of fun writing it.

The next several days were not very good for Remus, seeing as it would be the full moon. He took the Wolfsbane Potion and was now guaranteed to keep his mind when he transformed, the only comfort he had. He kept to his room, mostly because he felt so ill and didn't want people bombarding him with questions if he was all right and if there was anything they coulddo. He appreciated their concern for his well-being but he had to admit, it got a tad tiresome. The only person he mostly talked to was Sirius who knew all too well that Remus didn't like people worrying about his health. He talked to Remus as if there was nothing wrong, which Remus was extremely grateful.

It was the day before the full moon and Remus was lying in his bed. He felt awful, like he could keel over right then. He hated feeling like this, he felt so weak and helpless, like a little child. He sat up very slowly in his bed and glanced at his clock that was on the nightstand. 7:34 a.m. was what it read. It was much too early to be up, but he couldn't get back to sleep, once Remus was up, then he was up for the rest of the day. He sighed heavily and slowly and carefully got out of bed. He dressed in his familiar shabby robes and crept downstairs once he had fully gotten dressed. He pushed open the kitchen door, praying that no one was yet up. His prayers were answered and he sighed out of relief.

He dragged his feet over to the stove and conjured up some eggs and ham, which then sizzled onto a pan that had suddenly appeared. He yawned and rubbed his neck; he must've slept on it wrong for there was a terrible kink in it. He was concentrating on how bad he felt that Remus didn't notice nor hear the sound of someone apparating in the kitchen.

"Wotcher Remus." The voice of Tonks said friendly.

Remus turned around. "Hello Tonks." He said weakly, facing her.

Tonks had waist-length dirty blonde hair today and sea-green eyes joined by a long, perfectly shaped nose. She looked very worriedly at Remus.

"I'm fine Tonks." Remus said before Tonks had the chance to comment on his appearance.

"I know you are. I mean, I figured you would be, seeing as how you've had to deal with this since you were a child." She said casually. "I actually just stopped by to talk with my dear cousin. Do you know where he is?"

"I believe he is still asleep." Remus informed her, remembering the snores that had emitted behind Sirius' closed bedroom door.

Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course. I was hoping to talk with him before I headed off to work."

Remus smiled at Tonks' irritated tone and turned back to his breakfast, which was nearly ready. He took a plate from the cupboard then turned back to Tonks. "Would you like some breakfast? I'm afraid I've made entirely too much." He asked.

Tonks eyes twinkled mysteriously. "Sure." She said.

Remus collected another plate from the cupboard and insisted on serving them, remembering Tonks' incident with Molly and the plates several days earlier. They both sat down across from each other at the table and dived in to their hams and eggs.

"This is really good Remus." Tonks said after swallowing a healthy-sized portion of ham.

Remus smiled. "Thank you Tonks." He hadn't ate that much, he felt very nauseous.

But for some reason, the nausea wasn't directly related to the illness caused by the full moon. However, Remus had such a splitting headache, he didn't much care to think on it. He held his head gingerly and lightly rubbed his temples.

"You ok Remus? Got a headache?" Tonks asked.

Remus nodded. It hurt too much to talk.

"Here," Tonks dropped her fork and came around the table towards Remus. "I know this Muggle trick. It'll get rid of your headache." She said. She pulled up a chair and sat very close to Remus so their noses were merely inches apart.

"You don't have to-It's ok." Remus said, feeling very frustrated with himself. Why did he have to be so bloody weak and sickly? Why? He hated people taking care of him.

Tonks smiled, revealing very straight pearly white teeth. "It's ok." She said. "Now just relax." She instructed. Remus obeyed and instantly relaxed his tense muscles. "Now close your eyes." Tonks said softly.

Remus did, as he was told and next thing, he felt Tonk's fingers gently massaging the sides of his head. Suddenly, Remus' head didn't feel like a thousand nails were being hammered into it. His head felt very light, he felt much better. Tonks' fingers moved in small circular motions all over the sides of his temples. Remus felt completely relaxed.

"How does that feel?" He heard her voice ask.

"I feel much better." Remus replied quietly, opening his blue eyes, to see Tonk's sea-green ones staring at him.

She smiled. "See? I told you I could get rid of your headache."

Remus felt himself smiling also and inhaled the vanilla scent that was secreting from, what he guessed, was Tonks. She smelt very good. For a moment, the two just stared at each other in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence either, it was a relaxed, friendly silence…at least Remus thought it was. All of a sudden, Sirius barged through the kitchen door, yawning loudly. He stopped suddenly at the sight of Remus and Tonks.

He smirked. "Well well well, hope I'm not intruding on anything." He said.

Remus and Tonks both immediately looked away from one another and pulled back, Remus' face was a deep shade of scarlet and he noticed, so was Tonks'.

"We weren't doing anything." Tonks said, narrowing her eyes at her cousin.

"Sure." Sirius teased.

Remus suddenly felt very embarrassed and looked away from his good friend, choosing to stare at the floor instead.

"I'm glad you're here though." Tonks said, standing up and walking over. "I wanted to talk to you before I went off to work."

"Really? About what?" Sirius asked interestingly.

Remus forced himself to get up. "I'll leave you two alone then." He said, excusing himself. "Thanks for the…you know." Remus said. He didn't know what to call Tonk's treatment exactly.

She smiled that all too familiar smile that Remus associated her with. "No problem Remus. You just feel better, ok?"

Remus grinned. "Deal."

Sirius looked from one to the other. "Hang on a bloody second! What are you two talking about?" He asked.

Remus and Tonks shared a look then laughed. "I'll see you later Tonks." Remus said.

"See ya Remus." She called back as Remus exited the kitchen.

Remus felt considerably better than he had earlier and marched silently up the stairs to the sanctuary of his room. He sat on the bed, kicked off his shoes, and lay down and stared at the ceiling. He kept seeing Tonks' face, kept hearing her laugh and kept smelling her sweet vanilla scent. Remus shook his head slightly, immediately regretting his decision as he saw little stars appear before his eyes. He recovered from his slight disorientated state and thought about Tonks again. Why was he thinking about her? What did she do to make him think about her day in and day out? Remus was utterly confused. Maybe because she was just so different, such a free spirit, that she just purely fascinated him? No, he didn't think of her as a specimen to be observed and studied. It was something else about her, something else that drew his attention to her whenever she was not around. Ah, well, Remus closed his eyes, maybe it was simply because she was a female and he had not been around females that often, especially ones that he could talk to so easily and didn't run away once they found out about his condition. Yes, that was it. That had to be the reason he thought about her so often. What else could it be?

Later that early evening, Remus was still in his room but he was drenched in cold sweat and was panting slightly. In just a few short minutes, the full moon would emerge and envelope him in it's light, forcing him to transform from a man to an ugly beast. Remus hated transforming. It was very painful, having your bones mutate and your organs shift. Remus gasped and yelped in pain as the light of the moon hit him through his window. He dropped to the floor on his hands and knees and clenched his teeth so hard, he thought he would for sure break them.

Instantly, the tall, slender form of Remus the man transformed into the big, hairy beast that was the wolf. His fingers grew into long, sharp claws, his torso into a fur-covered underbelly, his back arched as it mutated into the back and spine of the wolf, his face grew fur, a long snout and his mouth grew a set of long, sharp teeth. Remus whimpered slightly as the transformation finished. He looked at his paws and looked away ashamed and disgusted. The only comforting thing he felt was at least he still had his mind so, he at least he wouldn't be out on the hunt, looking for innocent flesh to tear and rip apart. He slowly walked to a corner of the room that was completely drenched in darkness. There, he settled himself and waited until dawn approached and the moon would fade from sight.

Remus had only been a wolf about two hours when he smelled a new presence enter Grimmauld Place. He could tell it was a woman and she was very worried. It had to be Tonks. What was she doing here? Remus wished she would have stayed at her home tonight. But why did he care so much that she was here? He didn't care that Molly, Arthur or even the children were here 'cause he was safe, but why did he care so much about Tonks? The question bothered him and he dug his claws into his head in frustration, causing him several nasty cuts. He forgot about how powerful he was. At that moment he hated himself more than he ever had. Eventually, the wolf Remus curled up in the corner and fell into an uneasy and unrestful sleep.

Remus awoke suddenly as he felt himself transforming back into a man. It wasn't nearly as painful as transforming into the wolf but it wasn't exactly pleasant either. The fur disappeared from his body and was replaced by skin. His long snout melted into a human nose and finally, the transformation was complete and Remus lay naked in his human form in the corner of the room. He was glad that he had locked the door. He crawled to his wardrobe and got dressed into some pajamas. He felt awful. He could feel the pain of the cuts caused by transforming all over his body and winced slightly as he got into bed. He fell asleep almost instantly after his head had hit the soft, feathery pillow.

Remus felt he had been asleep for several hours when he was awoken suddenly by someone jiggling the doorknob on his door. He got up gingerly and grabbed his wand off the nightstand. "_Alohomora_." He said quietly. The door swung open to reveal Tonks.

"Oh, I'm sorry Remus, did I wake you?" She asked worriedly, stepping through the doorway.

Remus smiled and didn't know why he was so happy to see the young woman, but he was. "It's alright."

"I'm sorry. But Molly made me come up here to check on you. You know how she is." Tonks explained.

Remus held up his hand. "It's quite alright Tonks. I knew Molly would be sending someone to check on me. How long have I been asleep?"

"All day. It's nearly dinner."

Remus wasn't shocked; he always slept long after his transformations, which were very tiring.

"Are you hungry? I could bring you up some dinner if you'd like." Tonks offered.

Remus was, indeed, hungry but he was reluctant to have Tonks bring it up to him. "That's ok Tonks. I can just go down-" He started to get out of bed.

"No!" She said forcefully. She swept over and gently pushed Remus back into his bed. "No, I'll get it. Don't worry." She said as she lifted the covers up to his chin.

Before Remus could protest, Tonks had hurried off down the stairs. Remus heard her trip and fall, causing the portrait of Sirius' mother screaming and yelling.

"FILTHY SCUM INVADING MY HOUSE! HALF-BREEDS MUDBLOODS INFECTING MY PUREBLOODED FAMILY'S HOME! DISGUSTING BLOOD TRAITORS-"

The harsh words were cut short by, no doubt, somebody pulling the curtains shut on Mrs. Black. Remus chuckled to himself lightly.

A few minutes later, Tonks arrived with a tray full of food. She looked extremely proud. "I didn't trip once coming up!" She announced happily. She carefully treaded over to the nightstand and set it, surprisingly graciously, down without a single drop spilled.

"How about going down?" Remus asked, sitting up in bed.

Tonks grinned at him sheepishly. "That's a different story." She laughed.

Remus laughed along with her. "Well thank you Tonks for bringing up my dinner." He said. He felt slightly embarrassed at having to have his meal brought up to him.

"No problem." Tonks said. "Here, I also brought you something to help you with your cuts." She said. She lifted a bowl of yellow liquid and a cloth. "It's a solution of strained and pickled murtlap tentacles. It'll soothe your cuts." She informed him.

Remus smiled gratefully as Tonks sat down on the bed,place the cloth in the liquid and run it over several of Remus' cuts on his face. He felt his cuts instantly feel better. "Thank you Tonks." He said as she replaced the cloth into the bowl.

She smiled warmly at him. "You're welcome. Hermione is the one you should thank, though. She looked this up in A Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. She's awfully brilliant." She said, now running the cloth over Remus' arms and up his neck.

"Yes she is." Remus said, feeling the pain of his cuts subside. He made a mental note to himself to buy Hermione the biggest chocolate slab he could find.

"Well, I better get downstairs. I got guard duty tonight." She said, placing the bowl of essence of murtlap beside the dinner tray and getting up. "There's plenty more of the murtlap in the bowl if you need it. Feel better Remus." She said.

"Thanks Tonks. I will." Remus said as Tonks waved good-bye and disappeared from view.

Remus ate his dinner hungrily. He was always very hungry after the full moon and Molly's lasagna really hit the spot. When he had finished, he set the tray back onto the nightstand and grabbed the essence of murtlap and put his slashed hand into the bowl. He sighed out of relief and felt much better. After he had covered his cuts in the soothing liquid, he got out of bed and took the tray downstairs. As soon as he entered the kitchen, Molly rushed towards him.

"Oh Remus! You look awful." Molly said as she grabbed the tray from Remus and discarded it into the sink.

"I'm fine Molly, really." He said, trying to reassure her.

But Molly wasn't buying it. "You need to eat." She said as she pushed him towards the kitchen table and made him sit down where Hermoine, Ron and Ginny were also seated.

"But Molly I just had-" Remus started to say but he was cut off by Molly placing a large piece of lasagna on a plate in front of him.

"Now eat. Merlin knows you could use the nourishment." She told him.

Remus sighed in defeat and forced himself to eat. He knew Molly meant well and cared about everyone's health.

"Did the essence of murtlap help at all Professor Lupin?" Hermoine asked.

Remus looked up. "Yes, thank you very much Hermione. How can I ever repay you?"

Hermione blushed. "Oh you don't have to repay me Professor. It was my pleasure."

Ron rolled his eyes at her.

"I saw that Ronald." She said, turning to him.

"Saw what?" Ron asked innocently.

Hermione rolled her eyes and scoffed while Ginny giggled.

"C'mon Hermione, let's get upstairs." Ginny said, clearly trying to avoid the huge argument that was aboutto ensue.

Hermione gave Ron one last seething look before exiting the kitchen with Ginny.

"Girls." Ron muttered, causing Remus to laugh.

Remus, along with everyone who knew them, knew that Ron and Hermione fancied each other but they would rather take care of blast-ended skrewts than admit it. Finally, after forcing down a third helping of Molly's lasagna, Remus went back to his room and flopped down onto his bed and fell asleep, wondering how Tonks was getting along with her guard duty.

A/N: Well, that was Chapter 4. It's my fav. chapter so far so please please tell me what you all think. I know I sound a wee bit greedy begging for your reviews but they really do mean alot to me. So pleeeease review, please?


	5. Thoughts and Worries

Disclaimer: Sighs I wish I owned Remus but alas, that lovely privledge belongs to J.K. Rowling, one of my heroes.

A/N:Ok, here it is, Chapter 5. Hope you all like. Thanks for all your reviews, you guys. I mean it, thank you from the bottom of my shallow heart. I luv you all!And don't worry Loonie Potter, everyone makes mistakes when writing lyrics, lol. I always thought of Tonks when I listened to that song. She is a rebel, she is the salt of the earth and she is dangerous, lol. Ok, on with the story.

A couple of days after the full moon, Remus was back to normal health. His cuts still needed some healing to do but other than that, he felt fine.

"Fred! George! How many times do I have to tell you? Just because you can use magic outside school, doesn't mean you should!" Molly yelled at the twins as they apparated into the kitchen.

"Aw, come on mum, if we had walked it would've taken us an extra 10 seconds to get down here." One of them said.

"Yea, and you're always saying to be on time." The other agreed.

Molly rolled her eyes and sighed and turned back to themeal she was preparing to serve. The twins took a seat across from Remus at the kitchen table. It was dinner and everyone was there. Ron, Hermione and Ginny sat on the left side of Remus while Arthur sat across from him; next to his twins while Sirius sat on the other side of them. Moody was supposed to show up for dinner tonight too but he wasn't here yet.

"Ginny and Hermione will you help me with these?" Molly asked.

The two girls nodded and got up and helped Molly bring the dishes to the table. Just as they were all about to dig in to the small feast Molly had cooked, Tonks emerged through the door with shoulder-length dark brown hair with sky-blue highlightsand bright blue eyes.

"Oh, sorry everyone. I didn't mean to intrude." She said, looking at everyone.

"That's quite alright dear. Won't you join us?" Molly asked.

"Oh, I don't want to be rude." Tonks said.

"Don't worry, you already are." Sirius said teasingly.

"Ha ha." She retorted sarcastically.

"Come, sit down Tonks." Remus offered.

She smiled at him. "Ok."

"Oh, she'll come if _Remus_ invites her." Sirius said tauntingly. The twins and Ron sniggered.

Molly nudged him hard. "Ouch!"

Remus blushed as Tonks took the only vacant seat that was next to him.

"Oh please Sirius. A guy and a girl can be just friends you know." She said as Molly put an empty plate in front of her.

Suddenly Remus felt somewhat sad at Tonks addressing them 'just as friends'.

"They can." Sirius nodded. "But friends don't spend hours and hours alone until wee hours of the night."

It was true that Remus and Tonks were often found talking to each other until very late, but that was only friends chatting, getting to know one another. Nothing more.

The twins and Ron laughed again and even Hermione and Ginny let slip a giggle but they stifled it quickly after eyeing the look on Molly's face.

"Let's eat then shall we?" Arthur said before Tonks could retort.

Everyone agreed and soon the discussion was dropped and forgotten about completely. They had only been eating a few minutes when Dumbledore appeared in the kitchen.

"Albus!" Arthur said surprised.

"Arthur." Dumlbedore bowed. "I'm sorry to intrude on your meal everyone but I'm afraid we've got a bit of a situation." He said.

"What? What sort of a situation?" Remus asked concernedly.

"Harry is in a bit of trouble." He replied. "But not to worry." He added hastily as Sirius got up so quickly, he was a blur. "Two Dementors tried to attack Harry and his cousin just a few minutes ago. He's fine. But I'm afraid the Ministry has, of course, found out."

"What! What's going to happen to him?" Sirius asked, still standing.

"I'm not sure but I'm going there to sort it out with them right now. Arthur I need you to send word to Harry to NOT leave his aunt and uncle's house no matter what." He told him.

"Of course." Arthur said, nodding.

"Knew I could count on you." He said. "Don't worry everyone. Harry will be fine." He reassured the worried faces that were shared by everyone, especially Sirius.

Dumbledore then apparated without another word while Arthur rushed upstairs to write the letter.

"Don't worry! Don't worry! He comes in here and says Harry's just been attacked by Dementors and he tells me not to worry!" Sirius said, pacing back and forth.

"Now Sirius, if Harry was in any immediate danger Dumbledore would-" Molly started to say but Sirius cut her off.

"Dumbledore would do what Molly?" Sirius shouted.

Molly looked taken aback. "That's enough Sirius." Remus said firmly. Sirius immediately stopped pacing and turned to look at him. "I know how you feel but we just have-" again Sirius cut in.

"No, you don't know how I feel Remus! You don't have a godson to worry about! You're not cooped up in here not being able to do nothing! You have NO idea how I feel, not that I'd expect you to."

"That's quite enough Sirius!" Tonks shouted, standing up.

Remus had been stung by Sirius' harsh words. True he didn't know exactly how Sirius felt but Harry was important to him too. And even though he wasn't cooped up in Grimmauld Place, he knew how itwas to feel helpless. He glanced around and saw that Hermione and Ginny looked utterly frightened, Ron's eyes were wide as saucers and the twins were asstill as stone.

"We all know that you're worried about Harry but shouting your head off and insulting your friends isn't going to do any good!" Tonks yelled at him. As she was yelling, her hair had turned a very bright,neonshade of red, as had her cheeks.

There was so much yelling, Remus was surprised that the portrait of Mrs. Black had not been awaken. He also felt a great rush of affection towards Tonks and was very grateful that she had decided to stay. Tonks' words seem to have hit Sirius hard. He gave his cousin an awful look and with a tiny "_pop_" vanished.

Tonks sighed. "Sometimes I don't know about him." She shook her red head, hands on her hips. "I'm terribly sorry about that." She turned towards the others with a sincere look on her face.

"Don't worry about it dear." Molly said softly. Apparently, Sirius' harsh words still hit her hard.

"Just go back to your dinner." Tonks said comfortingly. "I'm going to apparate to the Ministry and see if I can't find out what's going on." She said.

Remus didn't want Tonks to leave. He couldn't explain it but he never wanted her to leave him again.

"A-Are you sure you don't want to at least finish your dinner before you go?" Molly asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No, I don't have much of an appetite now. Again, I'm sorry everyone." She bowed and left the kitchen.

Everyone was deathly silent after Tonks had left.

"Well…eat your dinner before it gets cold." Molly ordered gently.

The children all looked down at their food, no one seemed to want to eat.

"May I please be excused?" Ginny asked, looking down at her plate.

"Yes dear, of course." Molly said, sounding surprised.

"Me too?" Hermione asked also.

Molly turned to look at her. "Don't any of you want to finish your dinner?" Molly asked, she sounded hurt and insulted that nobody wanted to finish her meal.

The children all shook their heads silently.

Molly sighed, "Alright." She said.

The children all got up and headed out of the kitchen without another word. Now all who was left was Remus and Molly. Suddenly, she burst into tears and buried her hands in her face. Remus quickly swept over and put a comforting arm around her. Molly was known as the mother while Remus was the one everyone turned to for consoling.

"I'm s-sorry f-for s-s-sobbing l-like like this." She said through choked tears.

"It's alright, Molly. It's ok, I understand." Remus said comfortingly.

"Oh R-Remus, I'm so-so w-worried. About eve-every o-one." She cried a little more.

Remus conjured a handkerchief and offered it to Molly, who took it gratefully and dapped itat her damp eyes.

"Thank you Remus." She said, the tears now subsiding, leaving Molly with red eyes and amatching nose.

Remus smiled kindly. "Anytime Molly. And don't worry about anyone. We're all going to be all right. Trust me." He said smiling.

Molly looked at him with a soft smile. "Oh Remus, thank you…for everything."

"Anytime." Remus replied.

"You know, you deserve a nice girl; one that could take care of you." She said, beginning to sound more like her motherly self.

Remus blushed lightly. "I'm content by myself. Besides, I don't have much to offer to any woman." He said. It was true. He was old, poor and a werewolf. Who would want him anyway? He suddenly conjured up a picture of Tonks in his mind.

Molly smiled mischievously. "Oh, I beg to differ. What about Tonks? She seems very interesting, not to mention she's very pretty." She said casually.

Remus knew where this was going and he was going to stop it before it progressed any further. "Now Molly, I know you like to play match-maker but-"

"Now Remus! I'm not playing anything, I'm just merely pointing out that Tonks fancies you and-"

Remus held up his hand and shook his head. "Now Molly, like I said before-wait a minute, how do you know Tonks fancies me?" He found himself very curious as to know if Tonks had, indeed, said anything to Molly about him.

Molly smiled more widely. "Well…she didn't say it _exactly_ but I'm a woman and I know when another woman fancies someone." She said matter-of-factly.

Remus felt his heart drop into his stomach. So Molly _thought _Tonks had liked him, she didn't know. But even if Tonks ever did like him, they could never be together. He was much too old, nearly twice her age, not to mention he barely had a Galleon to his name and the main reason Remus could never be with anyone: he was a werewolf. It had condemned him to a life of misery and sadness and Remus didn't think it fair he make anyone else share that burden with him. No, Tonks would be much better off with somebody her own age, like Bill or Kingsley or someone like that. Remus felt himself feel a slight twinge of jealousy and sadness at the thought of Tonks laughing and being happy with someone else. Remus, so caught up in his thoughts, didn't realize Molly had been staring at him. He snapped out of his daze and turned to her.

"What?" He asked.

She shook her head, smiling. "Nothing." She started to clear the table. "Are you still going to eat Remus?" She asked.

Remus shook his head. "No thanks Molly. I've got guard duty in a couple of hours and suddenly I'm not that hungry." He tried to hide the sadness in his voice.

"Ok." She said and Remus felt her eyes follow him out of the kitchen.

Remus sighed and walked slowly up the stairs to his room. He got to his room and grabbed his torn and frayed cloak. Suddenly, he was very disgusted with all his clothes and robes, all of which were patched, frayed, and very worn out. He checked his watch and saw that he still had a couple of hours until it was his watch. He sat down on his bed and opened a book, To Kill A Mockingbird, anddecided to catch up on some reading before it was time to go. He needed something else for his mind to concentrate on, which was buzzing with all sorts of worries about Harry, about Sirius, and Tonks. He felt a smile creep up on his lips as he saw her face swimming among all his other thoughts. But he snapped himself out of that daze and returned to his book, determined not to think of her again.

A couple of hours later, Remus apparated and was soon in the lobby of the Ministry. It was deathly still; no one was here, not even the guard who was supposed to always be on duty. Remus figured he must've been on a break or something. He walked past the fountain, which depicted a wizard, witch, centaur, goblin and house-elf;all of which werehaving a stream of water emitting from them. He pushed a button for the lifts and entered once it got there. He pushed the last button on the diagram and sat through the cool female voice that described what floor it landed on.

"Department of Mysteries." It said as Remus exited the lift.

He walked down some stairs and walked down a stone passageway that was only lit by torches that were set in brackets. Several minutes later, he arrived at a locked door and took a seat right outside it. He reached inside of his shabby robes and pulled out the book he had been reading earlier. He needed something to do while protecting the prophecies all night. He sighed lightly and continued his book. But he found it hard to concentrate on Atticus and Boo Radley and instead found his mind wandering off to Tonks. He shook his head, as if trying to shake the image of her out of his head.

This was utterly ridiculous. Remus had been around women before, but none of them made quite the impression that Tonks had. She was so funny, optimistic and a great pleasure to be around. Not to mention she was strikingly beautiful.

"No!" Remus told himself forcefully.

He couldn't go and get all worked up over anyone, especially Tonks. She was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her and Remus wasn't going to screw that up for her. She had a wonderful career going as an Auror and she bound to meet someone her own age who could take care of her, shower her with affection and gifts and take her on moonlit walks. Remus closed his eyes at this last thought and was suddenly very embarrassed. His cheeks blushed and now, more than he ever had before in his life, truly hated himself and for what he was. Remus felt some tears threaten to emerge so he quickly went back to his book and soon had tricked his mind on concentrating on it rather than Tonks.

A/N: Just so you all know, I won't be adding another chapter until at least Monday. I'm going to Disneyland with my best friend on Saturday (and we get to go in for free yay! dances). Have a great weekend everyone and I'll be back Monday (hopefully) with another chapter in my wee little tale here. Rock on! And please please please review so I have some motivation when I get back. gives puppy dogs again


	6. Rescue Mission

Disclaimer: Let's see, if I owned Harry Potter, would I be working a minimum wage job as a courtesy clerk?

A/N: I know I said I wouldn't be able to update until Monday but well, this chapter just sort of wrote itself (with the help of Lunista) and I had time to add it before I went off. Hope you all enjoy and I hope I didn't linger too long when the Guard goes and gets Harry. I tried to shoren it as much as possible. Thanks again for all your reviews! Enjoy!

Remus was exhausted by the time he got off guard duty and returned to Grimmauld Place. He wasn't one for staying up all night; it always messed up his sleeping pattern and left him feeling very groggy. He apparated to the kitchen, knowing that no one was yet up at this early hour, not even Molly. He yawned and scratched the back of his head. Maybe he would make a cup of some nice tea before heading off to bed. Yes, that seemed nice. He swept over to the stove, grabbed the teakettle and filled it with water. While he was waiting for it to whistle, Sirius came into the kitchen.

"Oh." He said in surprise as he saw Remus standing there.

Remus was equally surprised. He hadn't spoken to Sirius since last night when Sirius had had his outburst. Remus turned back to his teakettle. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't had a row with Sirius since their school days.

"Remus." Sirius cut in through Remus' thoughts. He turned to look at him.

"I-I want to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have lost my temper and I shouldn't have jumped down yours and Molly's throats like I did."

"It's alright Sirius. You were upset. I probably would've done the same thing." Remus said, smiling faintly.

Sirius chuckled. "Yea right. You, Remus Lupin, lose your temper? I'd love to see that."

"Hey, I've lost my temper plenty of times."

Again, Sirius chuckled. "Maybe. But you've never had an outburst like I did."

Remus couldn't argue. He was always the cool, calm, collected one. The kettle began to whistle, startling both Marauders slightly.

"I was just making some tea. Would you like some?" Remus offered as he got out two teacups and bags.

Sirius smiled. "Sure."

So the two best friends sat, drank tea and talked, all the tiredness leaving Remus. He was glad Sirius was in a better mood; he hated fighting, especially with his only best friend he had left. They had just finished their tea when Tonks apparated into the kitchen.

"Oh, Remus, good you're still up." She said. Her black hair was flared out and was to her shoulders and it was tipped with red, orange and yellow. She walked over to the two men. "I've just come from the Ministry. I've been there all night trying to figure out what's going on with Harry."

"And? Is he all right? What are they going to do? Has anyone told him anything?" Sirius asked hurriedly as Tonks sat across from the two.

"Give the poor girl a chance to speak Sirius." Remus said.

"Thank you Remus." She smiled and for the first time since he had met her, Remus' heart did a back flip when she did.

"Sorry. Go on then. What'd you find out?" Sirius said apologetically.

"Well," she sighed. "Dumbledore made them hold out on their decision of expelling Harry from Hogwarts."

"What!" Sirius cried in shock and disbelief.

"Shh!" Remus told him. Everyone else was still asleep and they didn't need Sirius' yells waking them up.

"How could they even think about expelling him? And for what?" Sirius lowered his voice immediately.

Again Tonks sighed. "For using magic in the presence of his cousin, who's a Muggle and for using magic outside of school."

"I thought there were Dementors after Harry and his cousin?" Remus said.

It was common knowledge that if a witch or wizard was in any life-threatening danger, he or she was authorized to use magic, in the presence of a Muggle if necessary. If anything, Harry should be awarded for his defeat of two Dementors single-handedly.

Tonks shook her head. "There were Dementors but the Ministry," she rolled her eyes, "doesn't believe him. Thinks he's just made it up."

"What!" Sirius and Remus said loudly.

"Keep your voices down will ya?" Tonks hissed.

"Sorry, but how can the Ministry not believe Harry?" Remus asked.

"They don't want to believe You-Know-Who is back. That's why Fudge has been trying to discredit Dumbledore and Harry, you know, with the Daily Prophet. Saying Harry's a nut job and Dumbledore's flipped his lid." Tonks said.

"If they're not expelling Harry…then what?" Sirius asked worriedly.

"Harry has to go to a hearing. They'll decide his fate from there." Tonks replied sadly.

This was horrible. It was bad enough Fudge didn't want to believe Voldemort was back without him expelling poor Harry, especially for something he didn't do.

"I ran into Moody too." Tonks continued. "He reckons the Guard should go and get Harry now."

"Good. The sooner Harry's here, the better I'll feel." Sirius said grimly.

This must be harder for Sirius than anyone, except Harry himself of course. It must also be tormenting to be locked up here and not being able to do anything to help your godson. Remus felt terribly sorry for his friend.

"Has Harry's aunt and uncle got the letter yet?" Remus asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No, but they should be getting it any day now. We sent it off over a week ago. I can't wait to get Harry out of there either. According to Dumbledore, his aunt and uncle almost kicked him out last night." She said sadly.

"What!" Sirius growled. Remus saw a trace of dislike and hatred in Sirius' dead eyes. "If I ever get my hands on those Muggles." He threatened.

"Oh, calm down." Tonks said impatiently. "He's still there. They let him stay and until we get him, that's the safest place he could be." She informed him.

Sirius scoffed.

"Is Moody going to call a meeting for the Guard?" Remus asked before Sirius could say anything.

Tonks nodded tiredly. "Yea, I imagine." She yawned.

"Maybe you should get some rest." Remus said gently.

Tonks smiled through her yawn. "I think you're right."

Remus saw Sirius roll his eyes. "When you two have decided to stop flirting, we need to discuss getting Harry." He said annoyingly.

Remus immediately felt his face flush but Tonks' remained neutral. Was that good? Or bad?

"Sirius." She said slowly. "There is no 'we'. The Guard will go and get Harry." She chose her words very carefully.

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Of-Of course. Well," he got up, "I'm going to try and get some sleep." He said quietly before exiting the kitchen, leaving Remus and Tonks alone.

Tonks sighed. "I feel just awful." She said, looking at the door.

"It's alright. He'll feel better once Harry's here." Remus said reassuringly.

Tonks smiled a little. "Maybe you're right. Well, I'm going to go home and get ready for work." She sighed.

"Work? But you've been up all night." Remus said. How could she possibly go to work?

Tonks smiled tiredly. "It was my own choice to stay up all night. I just had to see what was going on with Harry. But you go upstairs and get some sleep." She said as she got up to leave, as did Remus.

Remus couldn't believe that Tonks stayed at the Ministry all night, just to hear some news about Harry. She had to have been the sweetest woman Remus had ever met, and Molly too of course. But Molly didn't gain Remus' affection like Tonks had.

"Are you sure you're ok to work?" Remus asked concernedly.

She smiled yet again and Remus felt his whole stomach drop to the floor. "I'll be fine. But try to get some sleep yourself. You've been up all night too."

True, he had been up all night but he didn't have to work.

"Well, good night Remus, I'll talk to you soon." She said through another yawn. She looked awfully tired, yet, she still looked strikingly gorgeous.

"All right." He replied and with a little wink, she was gone.

Remus trudged slowly up to his room, his thoughts never straying about Tonks. Remus couldn't put his finger on it but there was something about Tonks that set his emotions a fire. But he couldn't allow his emotions to get the best of him. After all Tonks was a young, beautiful Auror and he, Remus was nothing but an old, poor werewolf who had nothing to offer a woman but his undying love and devotion. He suddenly felt very depressed as he opened the door to his room quietly and shut it behind him.

About three days had passed since the Dementors had attacked Harry and his cousin and the Guard was preparing to retrieve him. They had their whole plan worked out; they were only waiting for confirmation that Harry's aunt and uncle, did in fact, get the letter Tonks had written. Finally, on the third day Tonks revealed to the Guard, who were having another meeting in the kitchen, that the Muggles had indeed received the letter and bought the whole thing about them winning a lawn competition.

"About bloody time." Moody growled at this announcement, his magical eye going haywire.

"So when can we leave to get young Harry?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked.

"We'll have to wait until the evening, when the Muggles have left the home." Moody responded, his magical eye resting on Kingsley.

"But what if they decide to bring Harry with them?" Emmeline Vance asked.

"No need to worry about that." Remus answered, shaking his head. "From what Harry's told me, they don't take him anywhere unless they necessarily have to. I don't think we'll have to worry about it."

This answer seemed to suit everyone so they all lounged around Grimmauld Place, all anxious for the time to come where they could go and get Harry. Molly often came in and asked if anyone was hungry or if they needed anything; no one was hungry, they were all too excited to see and meet Harry Potter. Finally, the time came when it was time for the Advance Guard to go.

"We'll be flying on broomsticks." Moody informed them. "It's not safe setting up an authorized portkey and the Ministry will undoubtedly be watching the Floo and Apparation Network."

Everyone chatted excitedly as everyone went outside and mounted their brooms.

"Remember everyone, if one falls behind, they stay behind. We have to stay on course, even if one of us should die." Moody said grimy.

Tonks, who was standing beside Remus, scoffed. "Oh brother. He acts like we're going to be fighting You-Know-Who himself." She said quietly.

Remus laughed lightly and he was sure Moody had heard what Tonks had said because his magical eye stayed on her for a while. When they finally reached Little Whinging, Kingsley and Elphias checked to make sure the house was empty. It was.

"Remember everyone, Constant Vigilance." He said quietly.

All was quiet when the Guard entered the darkened house; at least it was until Tonks accidentally smashed a plate.

"Oops! Sorry." She said.

Remus saw Moody give her a very annoyed look. He was sure Harry had probably heard the racket and was more than likely wondering who was downstairs. When they reached the foot of the stairs Remus uttered an Alohomora Charm and Harry's bedroom door was heard unclicking and opening. He came cautiously out; Remus could tell he had his wand drawn.

"Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eyes out." Moody growled.

"Professor Moody?" He asked uncertainly.

"I don't know so much about 'Professor'. Never got round to much teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly." He replied.

When Harry didn't move, Remus decided to speak. No doubt the poor lad was scared stiff and very suspicious; he had been through a lot. "It's all right Harry. We've come to take you away." Remus said.

"P-Professor Lupin?" Harry asked disbelievingly. "Is that you?"

It wasn't until Tonks lit her wand that Harry believed it was, in fact, Remus and Moody, along with a band of witches and wizards, coming to take him away. As soon as Tonks had disappeared upstairs to help Harry with his trunk, returned with it a moment later and Remus had introduced Harry to everyone, the signal appeared. A shower of bright red sparks flew up, they all mounted their brooms, all the while Moody insisting that they complete their mission of returning Harry safely to Grimmauld Place, even if they died in the process.

"No ones' going to die." Kingsley said.

Moody ignored everyone's instance that no one was going to be killed and they all flew back to Grimmauld Place, no one breaking ranks. It was hard to see Harry flying about as Moody had placed a Disillusionment Charm on him, so that he camouflaged with the scenery. When they reached Grimmauld Place, Moody gave Harry a piece of paper with the address to headquarters on it. As soon as Harry had read it, headquarters appeared between houses 11 and 13 and they all entered.

Remus had to part with Harry for the time being, as there was an Order meeting about to commence. Molly showed him upstairs where his room would be as everyone else entered the kitchen.

"He's a nice boy." Tonks commented as she took a seat next to Remus at the kitchen table.

"He is." Remus agreed. "He looks extraordinarily like his father, James."

Tonks smiled warmly at him. She had changed her hair to a short, punky style and chose to color it bubblegum pink. Remus thought the look suited her well. He quickly forced himself to forget these thoughts, however, reminding himself that they could never be. He was quiet all throughout the meeting, feeling overwhelmingly depressed. After the meeting had dispersed and Molly had made sure everyone was well fed, Sirius and Molly had a bit of a row about whether Harry should know certain information. Sirius won in the end, but not before Molly had made Ginny go upstairs.

By the end of the night, Harry had known about as much as he should know for now and Molly sent him, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George to bed. Their minds were undoubtedly buzzing. Molly apparently thought this too as she made regular checks on them, just to make sure that no one was talking.

"Well, I'm going to be getting along then." Tonks announced as she stretched.

Sirius yawned loudly. "That sounds good right about now." He agreed.

Remus had to admit, he was pretty pooped himself. He said good night to Tonks, wishing that she stayed here at headquarters instead of her own flat.

A/N: Well, there it is in black and white, chapter 6. I'm not sure how many chapters this story will be, probably at least 10 or 11. I hope you guys are liking this so far and please review! Pretty please?


	7. The Kiss

A/N: Wow, I can't believe all the reviews that were waiting for me in my inbox! Thank you soo much you guys! I really appreciate it. And thank you lonna-senapi,I luv you too!And I agree, I would totally take Remus' undying love and devotion also.To DelightfullyEccentric22, you rock. Thanks you for reviewing my story and being a rockin' GD fan. I'm glad you liked the songs my story is based on. And HorseLover003, I would totally be fan fic. buddies with you, rock on fellow Tre Cool Lover, lol. And MarlaSinger47, I don't know if I would continue this after HBP because I want it to be accurate to the events surrounding Lupin and Tonks but then again, maybe I will. Thanx for the suggestion. And thank you to everyone else who reiewed, I'm sorry I didn't have time to thank each one of you individually but I will on my final chapter, promise. Oh and to darkfire783, Tonks is Sirius' second cousin, excuse me for not pointing that out but I just figured Sirius saying cousin sounded better than him saying second cousin. Anyway, on with the chapter!

The next few days, Remus kept himself busy by helping Molly and the others clean Headquarters. It wasn't much, but he had to keep his mind preoccupied. He couldn't really explain it, but whenever Tonks wasn't around, his mind seemed to focus entirely upon her; her smile, her voice, her light, girly laughter and her very sweet personality. He found himself smiling one morning as a picture of Tonks floated easily into his mind.

"Oy, Remus!" Sirius voice broke through.

Remus shook his head. "Huh? Wha-"

"I said, do you mind handing me that bag?" He replied impatiently.

"Oh, yea." Remus handed Sirius the very large bag.

The two Marauders were in the drawing room and Sirius was ridding the place of all his families' possessions. He hated being related to the Blacks and he didn't want any reminders lying around. Remus felt somewhat embarrassed. He had let his mind wonder off again and think about her. Remus sighed quietly under his breath. Her, Tonks. He just couldn't keep his mind off her, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't. She had infected his mind like some sort of laughing gas or something. Why? Why did she have this unusual control over him?

Then it hit Remus, as Sirius kicked Kreacher hard because he was trying to steal a silver plate with the Black crest on it, he had a crush on her! No, he couldn't! He could never allow himself to be close to anyone, especially a girl, especially Tonks. True, he had some small crushes while at school, but they were merely little schoolboy crushes, they were nothing like this. Could he possibly be falling in love with the young Auror? No, how could he, they were only friends; you couldn't fall in love with someone by just being friends. Could you? Remus was very confused. He had never experienced love so he didn't know what it felt like. I mean, sure he had love, but that was for Sirius, James and (Remus clenched his jaw) Peter. But that was a completely different kind of love, like a brotherly love.

As Remus was confused in his thoughts, watching Sirius shift through some drawers and dressers, Dumbledore came in.

"Hello Sirius, Remus." He said pleasantly.

Both guys, who were both busy doing something else, jumped. They hadn't seen the Headmaster come in.

"Dumbledore, what are you doing here?" Sirius blurted out.

Remus gave Sirius a look and then said. "Is there something wrong Headmaster?" He asked.

Dumbledore smiled. "How many times must I ask you two to call me Albus? And no, there's nothing wrong. I just came to ask you, Remus, if you were up for a bit of a mission."

Remus was a little surprised. He hadn't really gone on missions that much. "Sure." He found himself saying.

Dumbledore smiled, the twinkle sparkling in his eyes. "I knew you would. I'll have Tonks come by later tonight to fill you in on the details."

"Tonks?" Both Sirius and Remus asked.

"Yes, Tonks." Dumbledore replied simply, he still had the smile on his kind, old face but there was something different about it. "Is that going to be a problem?" He asked, raising an eyebrow carelessly.

"N-No, of-of course not. It's just-"

"Good, no problems then." Dumbledore interrupted Remus' babbling, a very wide smile stretching across his face. "I'll see you two later." He turned to exit the room. "Oh and Sirius," he turned back around to face the two again. "Do try and be somewhat kind to Kreacher."

Sirius gave Dumbledore a very dark look but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

"Please and at least try. Good day." He turned back around and left.

As soon as Dumbledore was gone, Sirius gave out a hearty bark. "Ha! He wants me to be nice to that little maggot? Fat chance. I hate that elf." He said as he turned back around to collecting more Black heirlooms to throw away.

But Remus wasn't paying attention to Sirius' muttering about Kreacher; he was too caught up in his own thoughts. Him go on a mission with…Tonks? He gulped. What was he going to do? What was he going to say? Stop it! He forced himself to calm down and he took a deep breath. Everything was going to be just fine. Tonks was a dear friend, nothing more. Even if he had a somewhat little crush on her, they could still be friends. I mean, it's not like she would ever like him back, he was much too old and poor. And besides, she probably already had someone, a young, good-looking wizard. Remus felt his heart sink a little as this last thought steered its way into his mind. Well, it would be better if she did. He couldn't let himself get close to anyone, he was much too dangerous.

The rest of the afternoon passed without much incident, unless you counted when Sirius had to run around, frantically trying to get rid of a Bundimun, a fungus that eats away the foundations of any structure it's in. Sirius had to run around the room about five times before the spindly-legged fungus was brought down with a simple Scouring Charm. Remus had been too busy laughing at Sirius play cat and mouse with the creature to help which resulted in him getting hit in the head with a very large, leather-bound book.

That evening, after everyone had eaten dinner and the children had wondered off somewhere upstairs, Tonks came. She had shoulder-length blonde hair with black streaks in it, accompanied with dark green eyes.

"Wotcher everyone." She said cheerfully as she entered the kitchen.

Everyone said hi and as she made her way towards the empty seat that was across from Remus, she tripped and nearly collided with the corner of the table but Remus, who had seen her about to trip, ran so quickly from his seat to the falling witch that no one had time to see what happened.

"Whew! Thank you Remus." She said as Remus (reluctantly) released her from his arms.

"No problem." He said, smiling at her, which she returned.

"Bloody hell Remus, I've never seen you run so fast." Sirius said in amusement.

"Well, I…she was…I mean-"

Molly interjected. "Alright everyone, I think we ought to get to bed. We have a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow." She said and Arthur followed his wife out of the kitchen, but Sirius wasn't going anywhere.

He smirked at Remus and Tonks.

"What?" Tonks asked, annoyance in her tone.

He laughed and shook his head. "Nothing, nothing."

Remus gave his friend a raised eyebrow. "If there's nothing, then why are you still here?" He asked.

Sirius laughed more at this. "Oh, sorry, didn't know you wanted to be _alone_ with my dear cousin."

Remus blushed very heavily at this and he saw, so had Tonks.

"Sirius! Bed!" Molly poked her head into the kitchen.

Sirius slowly got up, never tearing his gaze away from the pair. He didn't speak again until he had gotten to the door. "You know Tonks, I never did like your taste in men but…I definitely wouldn't mind having Remus in the family." And before any of them could retort, he had walked through the door, leaving the two in their first awkward silence.

Tonks sighed heavily and shook her head. "I swear, sometimes that cousin of mine drives me a bit mad."

Remus laughed lightly and offered Tonks a chair. "So, what's this mission Dumbledore's got for us?" Remus asked casually as he pulled a chair out from under the table for Tonks.

Tonks smiled sweetly at this gesture and sat down without falling or tripping, although Remus half-hoped she would. "Well, there have been reports of an old shack several miles from here being a Death Eaters hideout."

Remus walked around the table and sat down across from her. "Really? Then why doesn't Dumbledore just get Severus to go? I mean, he is an undercover Death Eater."

Tonks shrugged. "I dunno. I think I heard Dumbledore say something about Snape having too much to do at the moment or something." She brushed a stray hair across from her face.

"Oh." Remus said. "So, are we supposed to go and confirm these reports?" He asked.

Tonks nodded. "Bingo. It's not all that dangerous or exciting." She sounded a bit disappointed.

"Were you expecting a dangerous and exciting mission?" He asked her with a smile.

"Well, yea. That's the whole reason I became an Auror." She said excitedly, a sparkle in her green eyes. "I mean, that's what we're _supposed_ to do after all."

Remus had never seen so much excitement in young Tonks before. She seemed to want to be in danger, want to go on crazed, exciting missions and get by with just the scruff of her neck. For one millisecond, Remus considered telling Tonks his feelings. If she craved danger and excitement, being with a werewolf would satisfy all her adventure. But he could never do that. She was just young, she didn't really know all about the risks involved with going on hazardous missions all the time.

"What about you Remus?" Tonks' voice came floating through his thoughts.

"Huh?" He had to stop letting himself get into these dazes.

Tonks laughed a little. "What about you? Don't you ever want to go on exciting, crazed missions for the Order?"

"Not really. I have enough danger and excitement becoming a werewolf once a month." He laughed a little.

"Oh, I forgot about that." Tonks said, the sparkle never leaving her eyes.

She forgot? How could she have forgotten?

"You forgot?" Remus voiced his thoughts to her.

She nodded, sparkle still twinkling. "I don't see you as just a werewolf you know. You're a human being and the wolf is just something you change into once a month, it's not who you are." She smiled.

Remus felt like a giant balloon was swelling inside him. She didn't see him as a monster or even a thing. She saw him as a human being and a person; he wished everyone had seen him that way. But somehow, he wouldn't have cared if everyone else did see him like that, as long as Tonks did, that's all that he cared about.

"Thank you Tonks. That means a lot to me." He looked into her dark green eyes and wished he could grab her and kiss her. He knew he never could.

She smiled again. "No problem Remus. Just remember that there are other people who see you as I do." She spoke very softly and it gave Remus soft goose bumps.

They stared at one another for a moment. Remus didn't want to have to ever look away. What was wrong with him? Why did she have to affect him so?

"Well," she finally spoke slowly, "I best be getting off. We have to set off tomorrow." She got up, unusually graciously, as did Remus.

"What time then?" He asked.

"Uh…let's say…six o'clock? I hate getting up early but it would probably be best if we did." She said, looking very sad at having to get up so early.

Remus chuckled. "Yes, I imagine it would be."

She smiled and walked towards the door but tripped over her feet and once again, Remus demonstrated his speed and agility as he caught the poor girl before she hit the floor.

"Damn, I'm so bloody clumsy!" She exclaimed. She had fallen right into Remus' arms so that they were facing each other.

"It's alright." He said breathlessly.

She laughed and released herself from Remus' grip. "Thanks again Remus. I'll see you tomorrow morning." She did something that would make it impossible for Remus to sleep; she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Night." She said friendly and, leaving Remus standing there, she left.

Remus stood in utter disbelief and shock for about a good five or six minutes. He unconsciously touched the spot where she had kissed him. She had kissed him. It sounded unbelievable but it had happened. Why would she do that? Was it just a friendly gesture or…something more? But wait, even if it was something more, which it probably wasn't, he could never allow it to progress further. He wouldn't be responsible for ruining Tonks' life. He would just have to keep his emotions in check and control himself. Even if he did like Tonks and she liked him in return, they could never be. Remus could never be with anyone, ever.

He snapped himself out of his daydream and walked slowly up to bed, his mind swirling around the kiss he had received. He felt more depressed than he had ever felt, knowing that he would never be able to feel her lips on his, ever. He slowly got ready for bed and the last thing he saw before he drifted into an uneasy sleep was Tonks' face, with those sparkling eyes.

A/N: It's not that long and I apologize. But I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. I hope to post another chapter later tonight or tomorrow after I get home from work. But please review, I read each and every one and love them (good or bad).


	8. Mission For The Order

A/N: OMG! 58 reviews! Thank you guys so much! I can't believe my little story here was worthy of so many. I luv you all very very much! (but not in a freaky Michael Jackson way or anything). Anyway, I thought I'd take this time to answer some reivews. To dancer8428 my favorite GD song of all time is "Minority". I luv all their songs of course but that one just really speaks to me and I really relate to it. To cwatty thanks for the props. I chose "To Kill A Mockingbird" becuase it is my favorite book of all time (other than Harry Potter). I'm glad you like it too. And thanks MarlaSinger47 for complimenting my writing. I'm so stoked when people like my writing, seeing on how I want to be an author. To xmaraduergirlsx thank you so much for the compliment. I love J.K. and being told I write her characters almost aswell as her gives me greatjoy. So thank you! And to Asphodele, I'msure you're not bad looking, everyone is insecure.Ok, there are so many reviews for me to answer but I simply don't have enought time. But I do read each and every one and thank you everyone for reviewing. Thank you soo much! Oh and before I forget, I want to congratulate my band, Green Day, for winning 7 out of the 8 VMAs they were nominated for. They deserved them. I guess MTV doesn't suck as much as I thought. Whew! Enough chatting,on to the reading!

Remus awoke early the next morning. He had had a restless night's sleep and had been lying awake in bed for about an hour, trying to get back to sleep. He finally got up, got dressed, walked quietly into the kitchen to find Tonks already there, looking half-asleep. She had platinum blonde hair today with sky blue streaks and bright purple eyes.

"Wotcher Remus." She yawned.

"Morning Tonks." Remus replied, more awake.

"Shall we get going then?" She asked, stretching.

"I suppose." He said and together the two walked silently out of Grimmauld Place and into the early morning. The sun was barely getting up.

"So, where is this place exactly?" Remus asked casually. He had to try and keep things friendly and not give Tonks any hints that would lead her into finding out that he had feelings for her.

"Oh, it's right over the hills, in the other village. We should be able to apparate there once we get into the alley up ahead." Tonks replied, pointing her French tipped fingernails towards an alleyway.

But Remus had hardly been paying attention to Tonks' words. He was much too busy concentrating on her scent. She smelt like flowers and vanilla, it was heavenly. And her hair fell so carelessly and loosely in front of her beautiful face; she brushed it away with ease. Remus wished she would trip again so he could feel her soft, flowing hair.

"Remus! I'm talking to you." Tonks said loudly.

Remus shook his head and realized that Tonks was standing in front of him, her hands on her hips and she was tapping her foot impatiently looking extremely annoyed.

"Sorry, what?" He asked apologetically.

She sighed but she had a smile. "I said, do you think this is a good place to apparate?"

Remus looked around and only just realized that they were in the darkened alleyway with nothing but a couple of garbage cans for company. "Oh, yes. This'll do." He said.

"Ok. Now we're going to have to apparate where there are no Muggles. There's another alleyway just on the outskirts of the town, a lot like this one. We'll apparate there, ok?" She said matter-of-factly.

"Sure. That sounds perfect." He said breathlessly, wanting nothing more than to grab the witch right then and there and kiss her. He needed to stop this!

"Alright. See you there." And with a faint "_pop"_ Remus was left alone in the alleyway.

He sighed. Why couldn't he control himself when it came to her? Why? He wished he could stop this daydreaming and obsession of her. Why was he doing this to himself? He could never have her as his own. They could never be together; they could never be anything more than friends. He drooped his head sadly and apparated to the next village beyond the mountains.

When he arrived, Tonks was leaning against the wall, twirling her wand carelessly in between her fingers.

"Finally." She said playfully when Remus had arrived.

He smiled. "Sorry. But when you're as old as I am, you tend to be a bit slow."

Tonks laughed. "Old? You, Remus, are not old. Why, you're not that much older than me." She laughed again.

Remus'spirits rose slightly. She didn't care how old he was and he already knew she didn't care about him being a werewolf; she had even said it herself. Maybe they could…no they couldn't, not ever. He wouldn't do that to Tonks, she had so much to live for, so much to look forward to and he wasn't about to spoil it for her. He had to get over her.

"So, ready then?" She asked.

Remus nodded. Tonks pushed away from the wall and within seconds had gone tumbling; she had stepped on the hem of her robes and had tripped herself. Remus dived and, once again, caught the clumsy Auror before she hit the ground. Her wand had gone flying several feet in another direction and when it landed, emitted several tiny doves that went flying off towards the sky, which was steadily turning blue.

"A-Are you alright?" Remus asked softly. She had landed in his arms so that they were facing each other again and her face was mere inches from his own.

"Yes, I'm fine." She replied just as breathlessly.

For a moment, the two stared into each other's eyes. Her eyes; they were so beautiful, so twinkling and sparkling with life. They bore into his own and for a brief second, Remus actually thought about kissing her, but he stopped himself, knowing full well that that would be a mistake.

Remus gently cleared his throat and spoke. "M-Maybe we sh-should get going then."

Tonks, who seemed to have been a sort of trance, shook her head slightly. "Huh? Oh, yes, right, the mission. Of course." She babbled as she and Remus rose up simultaneously and broke apart.

Remus walked over and picked up the fallen wand and handed it to Tonks.

"Thanks." She said, not meeting his eyes. Remus saw that her face was a bright shade of red, as was her hair. It was slowly turning from platinum blonde and sky-blue streaks to bright, flamboyant neon red. It was so bright, it was almost orange. Remus couldn't help but laugh a little. Tonks looked up with a shocked expression on her face.

"And what are you laughing at?" She asked.

"N-Nothing." Remus said through his laughter.

She looked at him sternly but her face slowly broke into a wide smile and she laughed along with Remus.

"What?" She laughed.

Remus just shook his head, still laughing.

"Well, I can't help it if I change when I feel embarrassed." She laughed.

Remus looked at her. Why had she been embarrassed? He was the one who felt embarrassed. Before Remus could inquire any further, Tonks spoke.

"Well, shall we set off then?" She asked hurriedly, not meeting his eyes.

"Y-Yes." Was all he said.

Before they got out of the alleyway however, Tonks had changed her hair again.

"I rather like this color but it needs a little…something." She screwed up her face as if in concentration and within seconds, black tips formed at the ends of her bright neon red hair. "There. That's better." She said happily.

"Looks good." Remus commented, half-amused.

She smiled at him and with that, the two set off into the village. No one was yet up, which was a good thing, as Tonks' extreme hair would most likely attract attention that they didn't need. They walked through the little town square, which was littered with shops ranging from food to books. There was a large fountain in the middle of the square of a women surrounded by little children. Remus supposed this was the founder of the village or something. Once outside the main part of the village, they found themselves walking on a road with several cute houses on either side. Remus noticed that all the houses were exactly alike, each one had a small brick chimney on its roof, a neat little garden in front with several colorful flowers and each houses' yard was surrounded by a white picket fence. He wondered why Death Eaters would choose to hide out in such a place; it was most unlike their taste.

They walked for several minutes, Remus wondering if there was even an old run-down shack in this whole area, everywhere he looked was picture-perfect houses.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Remus asked Tonks.

"Oh yes. Don't worry, we're nearly there." She reassured him.

Remus looked at her curiously.

She noticed this and laughed. "Don't worry Remus. I've been here before."

"You've been here before?"

She nodded. "Oh yes. I came here once Dumbledore told me what we were supposed to do."

Remus was slightly impressed. The way Tonks carried on, what with her hair, her clumsiness and her outgoing personality, most people would probably think she was just some young punk who didn't take her job seriously but the truth was, she did. She had actually researched her mission's surroundings. Remus couldn't help but be slightly in awe at her. Finally, after about ten minutes or so, the scenery changed from neat, picture-perfect houses to older houses whose paint was chipped and windows broken. This must be what Muggles considered the 'bad part of town' and Remus could certainly see why. Everywhere you looked, the buildings and houses had graffiti on them and the fences were all broken down and rotting.

They reached a road where there was nothing but tall, looming trees whose branches looked like they could reach out and grab you with a single swoosh. The farther they walked on, the darker it got, despite it being day. Finally, after about a half a mile or so, they saw a tall, two-story broken down mansion; it wasn't really a shack. The shingles were hanging half hazardly off the windows, which were all broken. The houses itself looked like it could collapse at any time. The two Order members saw a large gathering of bushes several feet from the entrance to the yard and ducked down behind it, they were well shielded from view.

"Now all we do is wait." Remus whispered simply as he took a seat on the soft ground.

"I guess so." Tonks replied simply, taking a seat next to him. "So, you think this really is a Death Eater meeting place?" She asked.

Remus shrugged. "Don't know. I'm sure they have gatherings all over Britain, not in just one place. If this is one, you can bet that there are plenty more scattered about."

Tonks looked like she was thinking and nodded. After a moment she spoke. "I feel kind of bad for Sirius, you know, not being able to go on missions and help out with the Order. I bet he feels so useless." She looked a bit sad.

Remus was surprised by this sudden topic. "Yes, I'm sure he does. But I'm sure he understands that with him still being a wanted man, we can't afford for him to go running around and risk being seen."

"I suppose." Tonks replied, she was looking at the ground.

"Don't worry about Sirius." Remus reassured her when he saw that she still looked a bit sad. "He's a lot happier now that Harry's there." He smiled.

She looked up and smiled also. "Yea, he sure loves Harry. Like he's his own son. And I know Harry must love him like a father also."

Remus chuckled and nodded. "I would think so, seeing as Sirius is the closest thing Harry's ever had to a father."

"That's not true." Tonks protested. "He's had you too you know."

Remus was a little taken aback by this statement. He hadn't really been like a father to Harry, heck, he hadn't even seen him for almost three years before he had went with the Guard to go and retrieve him. Still, he couldn't help but be flattered at Tonks' point of view.

"I bet you'd make a wonderful father." She went on warmly.

Remus felt his face grow hot. He wasn't sure if he liked where this was going.

"I mean, you're kind, gentle and you have a lot of patience and you're pleasant to be around. I'm sure one day you'll have a child of your very own and you'll make a fine father." She was still looking at him her eyes (which were still light purple) sparkling even though there was no light to reflect them.

"Well, I don't know about that." Remus said, a little embarrassed. "I mean, I think I'm too old to be having kids. Plus, I don't think I'm really allowed to." He looked away from her eyes.

"What do you mean?" She asked curiously. Remus saw out of the corner of her eye that she wore a frown.

He forced himself to look back into her eyes. "I mean, you know, me being…a werewolf and all." He said the last part very quietly.

Tonks gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh, right. I keep forgetting about that. It's so wrong that the Ministry sets all these extra rules and boundaries for people with your…condition. It's not fair. People can be so cruel and heartless, especially that Umbridge woman."

Remus smiled faintly, grateful for Tonks' compassion. "Thank you Tonks. You don't know what it means to me to have, even one, person think that. I appreciate it."

She smiled. "No problem Remus. Like I said, it's not your fault and who knows? Maybe one day, things will change." Before Remus knew what was going on, Tonks' had embraced him in a warm, tight embrace, her bright head resting on his shoulder.

Remus hesitated before hugging her back just as tightly. There was nothing wrong with hugging her; I mean she was the one who had hugged him after all. Friends hug, don't they? Of course they do. They broke apart suddenly as the sounds of somebody apparating invaded the area.

"What was that?" Tonks whispered, her arms still wrapped around Remus' neck.

"I think it was someone apparating." Remus whispered a reply.

Tonks pulled away from him completely and the two looked through a small gap in the bushes, towards the house. Someone had indeed apparated, they were wearing a black cloak and a mask, no doubt, it was a Death Eater. The Death Eater walked slowly and silently up the rotting stairs and disappeared into the house. Not a minute after the first Death Eater had entered the house, another two apparated and also entered. Within ten minutes, at least half a dozen Death Eaters were all congregated inside the run down house.

"Should we go report to Dumbledore?" Tonks whispered in Remus' ear.

Remus gave a soft shudder at the sound of Tonks' voice floating through his ear. "I think we better." He replied and the two silently crept out from their hiding place and back into town.

Once inside the alleyway Tonks suggested they apparate to Hogsmeade, seeing as how you couldn't apparate directly into Hogwarts.

"You should go and report. I'll go back to Headquarters." Remus said at this suggestion.

"Why?" Tonks asked, sounding a little hurt.

"It'd be weird seeing us two being seen together. I mean, you're an Auror, I'm a werewolf. It'd be too suspicious." He said.

She looked as if she was trying to argue with this point that he had made but could find none so she nodded. "Alright. I'll see you later Remus." And with that, she apparated to go and report to Dumbledore.

Remus checked to make sure that no Muggles were around before apparating back to the alleyway he and Tonks had first been in and walked alone back to Headquarters, all the while thinking about what Tonks said about him being a good father. He thought she would make a fine mother herself. She was so cheery and likeable and even the Weasley children liked having her around. He really needed to stop thinking about her. The more he thought about having her, the more it depressed him because he knew he could never have her. Even if she didn't care about the age difference him being a werewolf, he was still very poor. He barely had enough to get by on his own. He sighed and put on a false cheerful expression before opening the door to Headquarters and being greeted by the smell of Molly cooking breakfast.

A/N: Well, did it suck? I hope it didn't, I'm sorry if it did. But please let me know! Thanks!


	9. Fatherly Advice

Disclaimer:I forgot to mention this in my last chapter but I don't own Harry Potter. The only way I could would be if I was J.K. and I'm sadly not.

A/N: Thanks you guys for not thinking my story sucks. It means alot. And thanks to lonna-senpai for all the super sweet comments and to everyone else who reviewed. Thank you you guys! Anyway, I sort of hit a writer's block with this chapter soI hope it's not too corny or unbelieveable.

The mood was very tense the next several days at Grimmauld Place as Harry's hearing with the Ministry loomed ever nearer. Everyone tried to act like he would get off Scott-free but secretly, everyone was as nervous as Harry was. Remus didn't have much time to talk to him as Dumbledore kept giving him small missions and lookouts to go on and he had guard duty. But when he did have a chance to talk to Harry, he tried reassuring him, knowing full well that nothing he said would make Harry feel any better.

"I'm worried Remus." Sirius was to be heard telling him one day.

They were in the library so Remus could grab a book to read later on.

"About what?" Remus asked, knowing full well what Sirius was talking about.

"About Harry of course! What if the Ministry doesn't believe him? What if they expel him? What if they send him to Azkaban?" Sirius' tone grew more worried and fearful.

Remus turned from the bookshelf he was looking at. "He'll be fine Sirius. I'm sure Harry will be just fine. Just try to relax. Harry's worried enough without you too." Remus turned back towards the bookshelf and grabbed a book, Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. It wasn't actually a book, but it would do.

"I can't help but feel a little anxious Remus!" Sirius began twisting his hands nervously. "I don't know what I'd do if I let them expel Harry."

Remus tucked the book away into his robes and looked into his friend's eyes. "I know how worried you must feel, we all do. But even if Harry does get expelled, it won't be the end of the world. He still has you, after all."

Sirius gave a small smile that did not reach his eyes. "But, what-what would James say if I allowed Harry to be expelled?" Sirius looked down towards the ground.

Remus had to hold back some tears that were threatening to leak. "I'm sure James would be glad to know that you're taking care of his son." He finally said.

Sirius looked back up with small tears in his eyes.

"C'mon, let's go. Molly still wants us to help clean out the parlor." Remus steered Sirius toward the exit.

"The parlor room? I thought we finished that?" Sirius moaned, his usual manor beginning to appear.

Remus chuckled. "No, we still have much cleaning to do." Sirius groaned and whined in response.

The morning of the hearing, Remus found himself in the kitchen at Headquarters along with Molly, Arthur, Sirius and Tonks. They had all come to wish him luck and Arthur was going to bring Harry to work with him.

"Breakfast." Molly said as she pulled out her wand and started cooking as soon as Harry was in the kitchen.

"M-m-morning Harry." Yawned Tonks, whose hair was blonde and curly. "Sleep all right?"

"Yeah." Said Harry.

Remus knew this had to be a lie, he knew no one had had a decent night's sleep. He felt extremely sorry for young Harry. He had been through so much at such a young age; it just wasn't fair.

"I've b-b-been up all night." Tonks replied with another yawn. "Come and sit down…" She drew up a chair, knocking down the one beside it.

Remus stifled a very small chuckle at this. Tonks; she was so clumsy…and goofy…and pretty…and wonderful. Remus shook his thoughts away; he needed to be here for Harry, not ogling at Tonks! What was wrong with him?

"What do you want Harry?" Molly asked. "Porridge? Muffins? Kippers? Bacon and eggs? Toast?"

Harry decided on toast and Remus saw he looked a pale shade of green. He glanced at Harry then turned towards Tonks, intending on drawing some of the tense attention away from poor Harry.

"What were you saying about Scrimgeour?" He asked her.

"Oh…yeah…well, we need to be a bit more careful, he's been asking Kingsley and me funny questions…"

Remus nodded in understanding, staring at Tonks. He couldn't help it; she looked so beautiful, which was surprising as she had been up all night. Why did she have to do this to him? Molly came over and laid some toast down in front of Harry, diverting Remus' attention. Harry chewed his toast very slowly; Remus could tell that he wasn't very hungry and couldn't blame him.

"…And I'll have to tell Dumbledore I can't do night duty tomorrow, I'm just t-t-too tired." Tonks finished, yawning hugely again.

"I'll cover for you." Arthur said. "I'm okay. I've got a report to finish anyway…" He turned to Harry. "How are you feeling?"

Harry shrugged in response.

"It'll all be over soon," Arthur said bracingly. "In a few hours' time you'll be cleared."

Harry was deathly quiet.

Arthur, clearly not seeing the anxiousness in Harry's eyes, went on. "The hearings on my floor, in Amelia Bone's office. She's Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and she's the one who'll be questioning you."

"Amelia Bones is okay, Harry." Tonks said earnestly. "She's fair, she'll hear you out."

Harry nodded.

"Don't lose your temper." Sirius spoke abruptly, causing Remus to jump slightly. He had forgotten he was even there. "Be polite and stick to the facts."

Again, all Harry did was nod.

Remus, attempting to ease Harry's mind, also spoke. He didn't want Harry to think he didn't care by changing the subject and keeping quiet. "The law's on your side," he said. "Even underage wizards are allowed to use magic in life-threatening situations."

Remus intended to go on but he and Sirius' attention had been distracted by Molly fussing over Harry. Tucking in the collar of his shirt, smoothing out the creases and wrinkles in it…but it was when she attempted to put down Harry's very untidy mass of jet black hair with a wet comb that Remus and Sirius shared a secret smile. They always knew James loved to have his hair messy. Remus wondered what he would say if he saw Molly attempting to put down his son's untidy hair.

After Harry's hair had won the battle with Molly, Arthur and Harry set out for the Ministry. They were going to use the visitor's entrance and use Muggle transportation, so it gave Harry a good image when he arrived at the Ministry. Everyone wished him luck and the two exited the kitchen.

After they had left, Tonks got up and yawned, "Well, I'd best be off. I can probably catch a few hours of shut eye before I have to report to work."

"You still have work today?" Remus asked incredously.

She smiled and nodded. "Hey, that's what I get for volunteering for guard duty. I just didn't think I was going to get stuck with the night shift. Thank Merlin, Arthur's taking my shift for tonight."

Remus wished she would just stay here and get some rest, why should she go back to her flat all-alone?

"Why don't you just stay here?" Sirius asked Remus' thoughts.

Tonks looked at her cousin then at Remus, who blushed and looked down at the table.

"I'm sure Remus wouldn't mind sharing his room with you." Sirius said, obviously seeing the embarrassed look Remus had gotten when Tonks had looked at him.

Remus blushed, if possibly, even redder. He turned to stare at his friend and wanted to strangle him.

Molly ran over and smacked Sirius hard on the arm.

"Sirius, you really need to get your bloody mind out of the gutter." Tonks said.

Remus forced himself to look at her and to his strange relief; she also wore a bright crimson face. Remus also noticed that her blonde, curly hair was threatening to turn bright red again but it looked like Tonks was trying to control it. Red had sprouted at her roots and was slowly cascading down all over. Sirius thought this scene was very funny. He started laughing.

"Oh for heaven's sake." Molly shook her head at Sirius. "You could stay here though Tonks, if you'd like." She turned to her warmly.

Tonks half-glanced at Remus, who was still immensely embarrassed. "No, that's alright Molly. I'll just apparate to my flat. It's no big deal."

Remus couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed by this decision but didn't dare voice this out loud.

"If you're sure." Molly said slowly. She looked from Remus to Tonks and back again.

Why was Molly looking at them like that? It was very peculiar. She had given this same look whenever she had caught the two talking or laughing together. She couldn't possibly know of Remus' growing affection for Tonks, could she? No, she couldn't do Occlumency…could she?

"Night everyone." Tonks said. She smiled sheepishly when Remus looked at her and began blushing profusely again.

"Night Nymphadora." Sirius said.

She gave him a stern look that rivaled Molly's but said nothing more and with a tiny _"pop"_ was gone.

Remus sighed under his breath and got up. "I best be getting off also. Dumbledore wants me to report what Tonks and I found on our mission."

"But I thought Tonks did that already?" Sirius said. He sounded a little hurt.

"Yea, but I guess he wants my account too. I'll see you all later. Owl me as soon as you hear about Harry, okay?"

"Alright." Molly said.

Remus walked towards the door and pushed it open. He decided to apparate right there to Hogsmeade, he didn't feel much like walking a lot. Next minute, he appeared right beside Madam Rosmerta's bar. He started walking towards Hogwarts, determined not to let his mind wander off again. But he couldn't help it. No matter what he did, all he did was think about Tonks. He felt slightly guilty, knowing he should feel more nervous for Harry, which he was already, but Tonks kept pushing the Ministry hearing out of his mind.

She was so sweet and beautiful and he was…well he was nothing. He sighed deeply as he walked along the road that led him towards Hogwarts. What would Tonks say if he told her how much he fancied her? Would she be disgusted and run away? Somehow, Remus didn't think Tonks capable of such behavior. Maybe she would like him back. Maybe she secretly carried a burning torch for him, as he did her. Was that even possible? No, it couldn't be. Why would she even think of going after him when she could have someone young and wealthy? Remus was so caught up in his thoughts; he didn't realize the tall, old man with long silver hair and beard standing at the gates, waiting for him.

"Morning Remus." Dumbledore said pleasantly.

Remus looked up. "Oh, Dumbledore. H-hello." He was surprised by Dumbledore's appearance. He hadn't expected him to be waiting for him.

Dumbledore smiled. "Come in, come in, I have lots to discuss." He walked through the gates, Remus by his side. "How is everything?" Dumbledore asked casually.

"Uh…fine…fine I guess." Remus was taken aback by Dumbledore's interest in his personal life.

Dumbledore nodded. "Good, good." He said quietly. "And how's everyone?" He half-looked at Remus.

"Uh…good. I mean, they're all nervous about Harry's hearing and all but other than that…" He trailed off. Where was Dumbledore getting at?

"I'm glad you mentioned that Remus. I've got to go to the hearing so I have to make this quick." Dumbledore stopped abruptly.

"Okay." Remus said slowly, very confused. "Well, Tonks and I have confirmed that-" He stopped suddenly as Dumbledore's hand went up and he shook his head.

"I'm not talking about that Remus." He said kindly, gazing at him through his half-moon spectacles.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You're not?"

"No." Dumbledore replied cheerfully. "I want to discuss…a different matter with you."

"Okay." Remus said slowly.

"Here, let's take a short walk around the castle. I don't want us to be overheard." Dumbledore started walking; Remus followed suit. They walked for several minutes before Dumbledore finally spoke. "You know Remus, everyone deserves to be happy."

Remus didn't know what to say to this. What did Dumbledore mean everyone deserved to be happy? Of course they did. Where was this going?

"And I think you of all people deserve that most of all." Dumbledore continued, ignoring the confused expression that was plastered on Remus' face.

"Headmaster, what are you talking about?" Remus had to ask.

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm talking about you being happy. You shouldn't let something as trivial as being a werewolf stop you from experiencing love."

Remus' mouth dropped open. What the bloody hell was going on? Dumbledore was a mastered Occulmens but he would never read someone else's mind, unless they were a Death Eater or something.

Dumbledore chuckled at Remus' expression. "I know about your…certain feelings for a young someone." His eyes twinkled mysteriously.

"What? Headmaster, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have feelings for anyone." Remus lied.

Dumbledore continued to smile. "Ah Remus, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone wants to experience love, even you. And I think you should. Love is a wonderful thing, it brings out the best in people, though it can bring out the worst in others." Dumbledore stared absent-mindly at the grass. "But in any case," he said after a moment's of silence. "I think you of all people _need_ to experience love."

"Headmaster-" Remus started to say but Dumbledore interrupted.

"Please let me finish." He asked gently. "Remus, you shut people out and I know you do it because you think that you are protecting them but really you're not doing anything but causing unnecessary hurt and sorrow for them and yourself. People have tried to get you to open up to them. Even James and Sirius tried and you did open up to them…somewhat. But you still pushed them away."

"Headmaster, may I please ask where you're going with this?" Remus felt extremely uncomfortable, even if it was with Dumbledore, whom he'd adopted as a sort of father figure.

"Just let her know your feelings Remus. If you keep these emotions bottled up inside like this, it's just going to hurt her and you in the end." Dumbledore said simply. He grabbed a pocket watch from his robes and gasped slightly. "Oh, Remus, I've got to be heading off to Harry's hearing. Please, at least think about what I've said." And with that, Dumbledore headed towards the gates of the castle and apparated once outside of them.

Remus was very confused. He didn't know what to do or think. How did Dumbledore know about his feelings for Tonks? And it wasn't necessarily love he was feeling for her, was it? What did love feel like? He never had fallen in love with anyone before, so how could he know? He stood there for several minutes before walking towards the gates, intending on apparating as soon as he could. He had lots to think about.

A/N: Well, there it is, Chapter 8. Like I said, I hope it wasn't too corny or too unbelievable that Dumbledore would give Remus advice like that. I was going to have Molly talk to him but I figured she would most likely talk to Tonks and I don't know, Dumbledore seemed like a good choice. I didn't want to have Sirius talk to him either, he's much too busy worrying about Harry but I will have him and Remus have a talk so don't worry. And don't worry, when the kissing starts, it'll be worth the wait (I hope) so please review and tell me what you thought.


	10. Denied Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any rights, alas I am a mere fan who has a lot of spare time on their hands and who loves to write for Remus ('Cause he is super hot).

A/N: Wow, thanks everyone for reviewing! I'm glad that the last chapter didn't suck. I hope this one doesn't either. Sorry if the story seems to be moving somewhat slow but don't worry, after this, it'll pick up! Enjoy and thanks to all my reviewers, you guys rule!

Everyone's spirits were raised significantly when Harry had come back to Headquarters announcing that he was not expelled or in any trouble. The only one who still seemed a bit depressed was Sirius. He wore a happy expression but Remus knew his best friend was really a bit saddened. A small sliver of Sirius was probably hoping Harry would get expelled, so he and Harry could be outcasts together. Remus never felt more pity for anyone like he did for Sirius. On the last days of the children's holidays, Molly decided to throw a bit of a party for Ron and Hermione; they had both been made prefects.

Remus was there of course, as was the Weasley children, Harry, Hermione, Kingsley, Sirius, Tonks (she had waist length tomato-red hair), Mundungus and Moody. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, that is until Molly's voice could be heard screaming "Riddikulus" overhead upstairs. Remus, Sirius and Moody bounded upstairs towards the screams to find Molly, cowering in tears over Harry's dead body on the floor. The real Harry was there and he looked very uneasy.

Remus got rid of the boggart easily and comforted her. She voiced her worries and fears about having all her loved ones die. Remus calmed her down somewhat and she had stopped crying and shaking. About half an hour later, everyone left from the party, the only ones left in the kitchen were Remus and Sirius; they had volunteered to clean up.

"I can't believe how worried and worked up Molly is." Sirius commented while he cleared the table of food with a swish of his wand.

"I can. She has just about all her family in the Order after all and it's not very likely that everyone will survive." Remus said while he put a charm on the dishes to wash themselves in the sink.

Remus knew his comment had been a bit morbid, but it was the truth. Chances were, at least one or two of the Weasley's might, dare he think it, die. He didn't want to think it, but it was the hard reality. He wasn't even sure if himself or even Sirius were going to make it through the war that was ahead. Remus suddenly had a picture of Tonks lying, face up with wide eyes and bloody trickling from her mouth and himself crying over her limp, lifeless body. Remus shook his head violently, why had he conjured up such a violent and grotesque image?

"I know that I'll go down fighting." Sirius said with pride.

Remus came back to earth. "I know you will." He smiled.

Sirius had always been feisty and up for a fight. That was why being locked up in Grimmauld Place was so hard on him.

Sirius smiled back. "Hell yes! I'll be damned if I'll go down lying around here like a dog."

Remus chuckled. "But you are a dog." He reminded him.

"Quit being a smart ass." Sirius smirked and threw a dishtowel at Remus, which hit him in the head.

The two laughed the most they had in a while.

"Hey Remus?" Sirius said after the laughter had wound down.

"Yea?" Remus asked, still recovering from the wave of laughter.

"Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?" Remus still chuckled.

"Take care of Nymphadora."

Remus stopped very suddenly at this comment. "W-What? What are you-? I don't know what-" Remus babbled

Sirius laughed heartily again. "Oh please Moony, I see the way you look at her. Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets every time you see her." Sirius continued to laugh.

Remus, who had gone a bright shade of red, turned from his friend and back towards the dishes. Why did Sirius have to embarrass him? At least no one else was in the room.

"Why are you so embarrassed old chum?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not embarrassed." Remus said stubbornly, knowing full well that he was.

Sirius laughed some more. "You're not? Then why does your face grow bright red whenever I mention Nymphadora?"

Remus turned around to face Sirius. "I don't get embarrassed." He repeated. Why was Sirius being such an ass?

Sirius broke into a wide grin. "You love her."

Remus dropped his mouth open. "I do not!" He said defensively, his temper starting to rise.

Sirius thought this was all tremendously funny. "Yes you do! You, Remus Lupin, are in love with Nymphadora Tonks!" Sirius said a little too loudly.

"Will you quiet down?" Remus hissed.

"What's the matter? Afraid someone will hear?" Sirius taunted.

Remus clenched his teeth. He was about ready to hit Sirius square in the mouth. Why was it that everyone suddenly cared about his personal life? Couldn't a man be lonely and miserable in peace?

"Face it Remus, you _love_ her but you're just too stubborn and stupid to admit it."

"Just shut it Sirius, you don't know anything about how I feel." Remus said quietly turning his back on Sirius.

Sirius didn't understand, no one did. No one understood why Remus could never allow himself to love anyone. He was just too dangerous, even with the Wolfsbane Potion. Who would want to be with a werewolf anyway? Not to mention he was poor and way too old to fall in love.

"Remus Remus Remus." Sirius sighed, walking behind Remus and clapping a hand on his back. "When are you going to allow yourself to love and be happy?" He asked sadly.

"You know that even if I _did_ have feelings for Tonks, which I don't, I could never act on them. I'm much to-"

"Too dangerous, too poor and too old." Sirius finished for him. He shook his head. "You need to stop hiding behind these reasons. You know Tonks doesn't care about any of that."

Remus tensed up. "I don't care even is she does! I don't love her and that's final!" Remus was fuming. "I'm going to bed." He said. He marched towards the door and pushed it open.

How could Sirius possibly know what it was like for Remus? Siruis, who was always the Casanova in school, who all the girls swooned over, who didn't have to worry about turning into a beast once a month. He didn't know what it was like for Remus and he never would. Remus went to bed in a pretty bad mood but felt slightly guilty for rounding on Sirius like he did. He was just trying to help after all. Before Remus drifted off to sleep, he thought he would apologize to Sirius first thing in the morning.

Remus awoke in a cold sweat several hours later. He had had the worst nightmare he had ever had. He rubbed his hands to his eyes, little spots appearing before him, trying to remember it. He and Tonks were having a candle-lit dinner. She was laughing at his jokes and she looked beautiful. He had leaned in to kiss her but she had a look of horror on her face. Remus looked down at his hands to find they were huge paws with razor sharp claws. He turned towards the sky and full moon reflected in his eyes. He howled at the moon and turned back towards Tonks, who was screaming loudly. She had tried to run but he had caught her and the last thing he remembered before he awoke was his claw slashing through the air towards her.

Remus realized he was gasping for breath. He kicked off his bed covers, which proved to be somewhat difficult, as they had somehow wound around his legs. He finally got them off and swung his legs over the bed. What a nightmare. He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair and glanced at the clock. It was nearly 5:30 in the morning. He might as well get dressed; there was no way he could go back to sleep. He got dressed and trudged quietly towards the kitchen, as he had done on many occasions. He pushed the door open to find Tonks, sitting at the table; she was asleep. She had used her arms for a pillow and had several scattered papers and folders about on the table. She had her trademark short bubblegum pink hair. She looked so peaceful. Remus hesitated before prodding her awake.

"Tonks?" He asked quietly, shaking her.

She muffled a little but did not wake.

"Tonks." He said a little more loudly.

Nothing, she still slept on.

"Nymphadora." Remus said even more loudly.

Her head shot up instantly, her eyes still closed. "My name is Tonks!" She said forcefully. Her short hair was a bit of a mess and her robes were wrinkled.

Remus chuckled at the sight. "Tonks, it's me, Remus."

"Hmm? What?" She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed them. "Remus? What? What are you doing in my room?"

Remus laughed. "We're not in your room, we're in the kitchen. You fell asleep at the table."

"What?" She rubbed her eyes more fiercely and looked around her surroundings. "Oh, I must've fallen asleep."

Remus smiled. "I can see that. What were you doing here anyway? I thought you left after the party?"

"Oh, I had loads of last minute reports to file and I didn't feel like going home so I came here instead." She started gathering up her many scattered papers.

Remus helped her and soon all the papers and folders were neatly piled.

"Thanks." She yawned. "What time is is?"

"Nearly 5:30." He replied.

"Oh." She stretched. "Well, I might as well go apparate home. I've got to take Harry to Kings Cross." She got up.

"Ok." Was all Remus said. He remembered his nightmare and suddenly wanted to be away from Tonks.

"I guess I'll see you later on in the morning then." She smiled as she gathered up her things and within seconds had apparated.

Remus sighed. He knew now that he would have to stay away from Tonks completely. Before he had fell asleep he had actually thought about telling her how he felt but after that nightmare, there was no way. He stood there, lost in thought, feeling very angry with himself and very ashamed.

That morning was very chaotic. Fred and George had tried to bewitch their trunks to float down the stairs so they wouldn't have to carry them but had resulted, instead, in knocking Ginny down two flights of stairs. Molly's voice rang through the house, as did Mrs. Black's. By the time Molly and Sirius, disguised as his animagus form, were gone, Arthur, along with Ron and Hermione, were still hurrying to leave.

"C'mon you two or we'll be late!" Arthur hurried the two teens and within ten minutes, the three had left.

All that was left now was Remus, Ginny and the twins.

"Ready?" He asked as Ginny ran down the stairs.

She nodded.

"Where are Fred and George?" He asked, looking past Ginny and up the stairs.

"They'll be along in a minute. They were wrestling with something in their pockets." She informed him.

Remus didn't want to know. Within a minute, the twins had bounded downstairs, both looking extremely agitated.

"All ready then?" Remus asked. They all nodded in reply. "Right then, let's go."

The four set off and by the time they had emerged through Platform Nine and Three Quarters, everyone else was already there. Sirius was jumping along and barking madly. It had been a while since he had been able to escape Grimmauld Place. Remus joined everyone in seeing everybody off.

"Well, look after yourselves." Remus said, shaking hands all around. When he reached Harry, he clapped him on the shoulder. "You too Harry. Be careful."

Harry nodded in response, clearly happy that he was about to go back to Hogwarts. After Moody had given everyone warnings about 'constant vigilance' and Molly had hurried everyone off onto the train, Sirius ran after it, much to everyone's amusement. After the Hogwarts Express had disappeared everyone slipped through the barrier to the Muggle world.

"Well, bye all. I've got to get to work." Tonks, disguised as an old woman, said.

Sirius the dog nudged Remus hard in the legs. "Ouch!"

"For goodness sake Sirius!" Molly hissed.

"Bye." Tonks laughed and she left.

"Bye dear." Arthur said. He kissed his wife good-bye and soon also departed.

"I best be off too. Dumbledore wants me to check out a suspected Death Eater." Moody growled and he too set off.

Now it was just Molly, Remus and Sirius left.

"Well, let's get going." Molly said.

Remus followed her while Sirius patted along next to them. Molly was very quiet until they were about a quarter of a mile away from Headquarters.

"You know Remus, Tonks mentioned she really liked working with you." She said casually.

Remus turned to her. "Please, just stop Molly." Remus requested kindly. He knew what she was up to.

"What? I didn't say anything." Molly said innocently.

Sirius barked at Remus.

"Oh shut up." Remus told him.

"Remus!" Molly said shocked.

"Look I know you all have my best interest's at heart, but I don't love Tonks. I like her as a friend, but that's it. Now, please can everyone just drop it?" He asked desperately.

Molly sighed. "Fine. If you want to be stubborn." She walked on silently although Remus heard her mutter something about men needing to grow up.

A/N: Well, there it is. I'll hopefully have a another update sometime tomorrow after I get off work, ugh! And I just wanted to say that David Thewlis rocked as Lupin and he did a wonderful job and he is super cute! lol. Please review and tell me what you all think. Thanks!


	11. Controlled Emotions

A/N: Hello all! I have another chapter for you guys! I'm glad you guys appreciate how soon I try to update my story. When I start a story I have the whole story already down in my mind so I know what I want to happen and that sort of thing. I know I hate it when authors take weeks and weeks to update, it sucks! But the longest I would go without updating would be a couple days at the most. Well, enough with my yakking! Let's get on with the long love tale of Remus and Tonks!

Grimmauld Place was a lot quieter with the children all of at school. Remus was hardly ever there, however. Dumbledore had been sending Remus on all sorts of missions. Remus didn't mind, he liked getting out and doing something for the Order. He hadn't been on a mission with Tonks since that one several weeks ago; she had been bombarded at work he was told.

One rainy, dreary afternoon, Remus was found entering Headquarters soaking wet. He had been sent to the Hog's Head to try and listen in on Death Eater's plans. He swung his wet hair out of his eyes and trudged towards the kitchen where he would find Molly sipping hot chocolate with Tonks.

"Oh Remus! You look absolutely chilled to the bone!" Molly said when Remus had stepped foot inside the kitchen. "Here, let me get you a blanket." She bustled out of the kitchen and a second later was back with a large blanket.

"Thank you Molly." Remus said quietly. He was very tired. Not only had he been up since before dawn but he was about to transform in a few days.

"Is there anything I can get you? Some soup or a nice cup of tea?" Molly asked hurriedly, ushering the soaking Remus to the table.

"Some tea sounds nice." Remus said softly and smiling.

Molly immediately bustled over to the stove. Remus looked over to Tonks and noticed she had light auburn hair that went just passed her shoulders and greenish blue eyes. She looked absolutely breathtaking, as always.

"Wotcher Remus." She replied smiling. But there was something off about the way she greeted Remus and smiled at him.

"Afternoon Tonks. How's work?" He asked casually.

He had found it much easier to forget his feelings for her, seeing as he had been away from her since that day at Kings Cross, though he still carried a secret torch for her.

"Good, just lots of paperwork." She said dully.

Remus just smiled at her. Molly came over and placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him. "Thank you Molly." Remus said gratefully.

Molly smiled at him then looked at Tonks and jabbed her head ever so slightly towards Remus. What was going on? Normally Remus would have thought about this but his head and whole body hurt too much.

"Did Severus stop by?" Remus asked, acting as though he hadn't seen Molly's actions.

"Oh yes, here he dropped this off." She walked across the kitchen and took a goblet from the cabinet, which she dipped into a cauldron, whose contents were smoking faintly. The cauldron had been sitting on the counter. Remus hadn't noticed it when he had first came in. "Here you are dear." Molly said, handing him the smoking goblet.

"Thanks." He replied quietly. He felt somewhat embarrassed having his potion given to him in front of Tonks, as if he was a child that needed to take his medicine. He purposely avoided her eyes.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked after a moment.

"Oh I think he's sulking upstairs in the attic with Buckbeak." Molly sighed. "The poor dear, he's been a bit blue ever since Harry left for school."

"Yea, I think a part of him wanted Harry to be expelled." Tonks agreed.

Remus merely listened and nodded. He sipped his tea absentmindly thinking about going and having a heart to heart with Sirius, to try and cheer him up a bit.

"Well, I need to…um go and clean the…the parlor." Molly said suddenly looking at Remus and Tonks.

Remus gave her a funny look. "What do you mean? Sirius and I already cleaned it."

But Molly ignored Remus who turned to Tonks. She looked terrified at the thought of Molly leaving; she was shaking her head but stopped abruptly when she saw Remus staring at her. She covered it up with a smile. Molly left hurriedly without another word, leaving Remus alone with Tonks. They sat in unusual silence for some time. This wasn't normal for Tonks, she usually had lots to say in front of Remus, and they got along so well. Remus tried catching her eye but he saw that she was determinedly looking at the table and was unconsciously twirling a strand of hair around her index finger.

Remus cleared his throat gently. "So…Tonks what have you been up to?" He asked, hoping this would spark some sort of conversation.

Tonks looked up from the table and into Remus' eyes and immediately began to blush. Her hair started changing to that familiar neon red color but she closed her eyes and forced it back to the auburn color that resulted in her hair being a mix of bright neon red and auburn. Remus found her behavior very peculiar. Why was she embarrassed at the question Remus had asked? And why was she avoiding his eyes?

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked concernedly.

Tonks looked back into Remus' eyes determinedly. "No. Why do you ask?" She asked innocently.

Remus gave her a raised eyebrow. "Well you're not very talkative and you're hair started going to that neon color you get when you're embarrassed when I asked you a simple question. Have I done something wrong?" He asked. He couldn't think of anything he could have done to upset Tonks in anyway and if he did, he felt awful. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset her.

"No, no of course not Remus. What could you ever do wrong?" She said gently, smiling, the twinkle sparkling in her, now, blue eyes, they had changed to Remus' color. He chose to ignore this; he didn't want to say anything else that would embarrass Tonks for whatever reason.

Remus smiled back.

"I guess I'm just a little tired is all." She said. "I've been a bit off lately, I've been having a bit of trouble transforming. It's not as easy as it used to be. I think maybe I've come down with a cold or something."

"You look pretty fine to me." Remus said, staring at her. He immediately began to blush; he hadn't meant to say that out loud! He had only been thinking that. He quickly looked down at his cup of tea and wished that the floor would swallow him up.

"Thank you." She said very quietly. Remus half-glanced at her and noticed she was wearing a smile and was blushing also but her hair wasn't going to that familiar neon red, it was turning to her short, bubblegum pink hairstyle that Remus fancied on her. What was going on with her? Women gave him a splitting headache.

"Well, I best be off. I'm sure you need some rest." She seemed to come back to her normal self.

Remus didn't want her to go, he wanted very much to talk to her, and they hadn't talked in so long. "Actually, I'm not that tired." He said hopefully.

She looked at him for a moment before answering. "You're not?" She asked.

"N-No, actually I was kind of hoping we could…you know talk or something. I haven't spoken to you in weeks." He said, forcing himself to not break contact with her eyes, which were still the same color as his.

She smiled. "I missed talking to you." She said fondly.

Remus smiled back. "Me too. I mean, I missed talking to you too."

Tonks giggled and Remus' heart jumped into his throat. He had been doing so well at trying to forget all about his feelings for Tonks but here she was, right here and Remus found he had no control over his feelings. He had to admit it to himself, he fancied the girl, possibly even loved. So the two talked for a couple of hours, the only sounds coming from the pounding rain outside. Remus felt better than he had in weeks, Tonks always knew how to make him laugh and forget about the tragic reality that was around them.

Tonks thoroughly enjoyed Remus' stories about The Marauders and their pranks they had played on Severus. She laughed exceptionally hard at the prank James and Sirius had pulled in their seventh year. They had slipped several sleeping pills into Severus' goblet at dinner and followed him around and kept him occupied until he passed out. They had then dyed his hair a flamboyant pink and jinxed him so his reflection couldn't be emitted in any mirror. It had taken Severus over a day to realize what everyone was laughing at and over a week for him to turn his hair back to the right color.

"I can't believe you guys did that!" Tonks said laughing.

"I didn't do it! Sirius and James did!" Remus corrected her, also laughing.

For the first time in his life, Remus wasn't that depressed at talking about James and his school days with The Marauders. He wondered if it was because of Tonks. The two were laughing so hard that they hadn't noticed a note appear on the table all of a sudden. It took them a minute before they had noticed it.

"Whose it from?" Tonks asked, wiping a tear away from her eye.

"Dunno." Remus said. He picked up the letter and recognized the handwriting as Dumbledore's. He tore it open and read:

_Remus and Tonks:_

_I am wondering if you two are up for a little assignment. Please respond immediately._

Albus 

"It's from Dumbledore. He wants us to go on a little assignment." Remus informed Tonks.

"Excellent! I haven't been on an assignment since that one you and I did." She said excitedly.

"It says to respond immediately but how did he get it here? He didn't send an owl." Remus said looking around the kitchen, hoping for some sort of sign that would clue him in on sending the letter back to Dumbledore.

"Here, let me see it." Tonks said, reaching for the letter. Remus handed it to her. She read it over and looked like she was thinking. "I think if we just…yes that has to be it." She said to herself.

"What?" Remus asked.

But Tonks had ignored him and pulled out a beautiful peacock quilland wrote on the letter. She then folded it up and laid it back down on the exact spot that it had first appeared. A second later the letter disappeared.

"How'd you know?" Remus asked astonished.

Tonks smiled. "I'm not as dumb as most people think." She smirked playfully.

"I never thought you were dumb." Remus said.

Tonks smiled. "You are so sweet Remus."

Remus blushed faintly. He wasn't used to compliments, especially from young attractive Aurors.

"Oh wait, are you sure you're going to be up for an assignment? I mean, with your 'condition' and all." Tonks said suddenly.

Remus suddenly felt extremely embarrassed, he could think of nothing to say. Tonks, obviously seeing she had made a mistake by bringing up Remus' 'furry little problem', hastily changed the subject.

"So, what do you think Dumbledore wants us to do?" She asked.

Remus was actually kind of grateful for Tonks' change of the subject. "I don't know. Whatever it is, it can't be too dangerous or time consuming." He said.

Tonks looked a little put down at this thought. "Ah, I never get to do anything fun." She rested her head on her arm.

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, you hang out with a werewolf, how much fun do you need?" He asked teasingly. This was the first time in a while that Remus had actually joked about his condition.

Tonks chuckled lightly. "Oh, I have lots of fun with you Remus." She said this a little mischievously.

Remus lightly scoffed. "Oh yea, I'm sure I'm loads of fun." He suddenly hated everything about himself, to his shaggy clothes to him being a werewolf. He even hated all these cursed scars that littered his face and body. He truly hated himself. He looked down at himself in disgust.

"Remus! You are fun." Tonks protested. Remus looked up from his self-loathing to Tonks' eyes, which were wide with shock and disbelief that Remus would actually hate himself. "How many times do I have to say it Remus? You're more than a werewolf, you're a man." She got up from the table and sat down right next to Remus. She grabbed either sides of his face with her hands and looked him square in the eye. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Being a werewolf isn't so bad, heck; it's not even that big of a deal to me. And I know you shut people out because you think you're dangerous, which is a lie." She giggled at this last sentence.

"What?" Remus asked breathlessly, never looking away from her beautiful eyes.

"You. Dangerous. That's so funny. You are no more dangerous than a little puppy dog." She teased.

"Hey, don't get the wrong idea, I can be pretty ferocious you know." Remus said playfully.

She giggled again. "Sure. Whatever you say." She said.

Remus felt like he was floating in the air. How did Tonks know just the right thing to say to make him feel better and forget about everything? He was floating on cloud nine whenever he was with her and he never wanted to come down.

"I can be pretty ferocious." Remus said defensively, with a smile.

She laughed. "Ha! I'd love to see the day you, Remus, are 'ferocious'. She rolled her eyes and laughed some more.

So she wanted him to show his ferocious side huh? He'd show her. Out of nowhere Remus grabbed Tonks' hips and started tickling her unmercifully.

She screamed and began to laugh, she slumped out of her chair and Remus got out of his, he wasn't done with her yet.

"Stop it!" She said laughing when Remus pounced on her and continued his assault of tickling her sides.

She giggle and laughed and squirmed in his arms. Remus was laughing just as hard as Tonks was. She broke free from his grasp and turned to face him.

"That's it Remus, you're gonna get it now." She said with a sneaky smile on her lips.

Before Remus knew what had happened, Tonks had lunged at him, knocking him from his sitting position to a laying position, Tonks on top of him. She started tickling his hips and sides, while Remus laughed.

"P-Please s-s-stop!" Remus pleaded through his laughter.

She relented while giggling. "Told you you were going to get it."

They two wound down their laughter and only when they did was Remus aware of what position he was in. He was lying flat on his back, Tonks on top of him. He never wanted to leave tis position with her, ever. Tonks noticed what predicament they were in also as her face began to blush bright red, but oddly enough, her hair stayed the same bubblegum pink. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. Remus never wanted to look away from her. He was so busy staring at Tonks and wanting to be with her so badly, that he only just realized his face and hers were mere inches apart. This was it; he was going to be able to kiss her.

Remus snapped back to reality, he couldn't kiss her, he just couldn't. But why? Why couldn't he? Maybe it was time to take everyone's advice and make himself happy for once. After all, he deserved to be happy just like everybody else, right? Yes. He was going to do it; he was actually going to kiss Tonks, whose face drew ever closer to his. Their noses touched slightly and Remus went to put his lips on hers, just a little closer and he'd be able to taste her lips on his.

"Oy Remus! You in here?" Sirius came bounding through the kitchen.

Remus and Tonks hastily removed themselves from their positions but both smacked their heads into one another.

"Ouch! Sorry!" Tonks said.

"Ouch! I'm sorry!" Remus said at the same time.

Meanwhile, Sirius was doubled over, he was laughing so hard. Once Remus and Tonks had finally untangled themselves and managed to stand up, both blushing bright red (Tonks' hair was still bubblegum pink though) did Sirius stop his laughter.

"Sorry, did I interrupt you two?" He laughed again.

Remus shared with Tonks in giving Sirius a very stern look.

"Well, I-I'll see you later Remus." She said, her face still awfully red.

"O-Ok." He said, his face was still very much a deep shade of crimson.

She apparated and Remus started to walk out of the kitchen; Sirius was now on the floor he was laughing so hard.

"I knew it!" Sirius yelled before Remus pushed past the kitchen door and up to his room. But he wasn't really annoyed by Sirius, he was actually quite grateful. If Sirius hadn't intruded, Remus would of lost control and kissed Tonks, not that he didn't want to, but he couldn't. He was too old, too poor and just way too dangerous for her. He pushed open the door to his room, hoping that Tonks wouldn't be back until after the full moon where it was easier to control his emotions.

A/N: Sorry if there are some typos in the story. Anyway, that was funny what Loonie Potter said about David Thewlis being a wereworm 'cause he's played a werewolf and did a voice as the earthworm in "James and the Giant Peach". That was pretty funny Loonie, I gotta admit. Sighs I have a mad crush on him. Anywho, please review and let me know what you thought of the chapter (please don't be mad that I didn't make them kiss...yet I will though, I promise!)


	12. SelfControl

Disclaimer: Do I look like J.K. Rowling? I didn't think so.

A/N: Good day fellow readers! I would have updated sooner today but I had a sort of writer's block. I didn't know where Remus and Tonks shouldgo from here. But I eventually decided on thisso I hope you all enjoy it and I'm sorry if it's cruddy. Just to warn you, it's a wee bit darker than the other ones so far.

The next day, Remus stayed in his bedroom. He couldn't risk being alone with Tonks right now. Not after what had happened last night, not after what he almost did. He would have kissed her had not Sirius barged in. Remus was truly grateful for his friend's intrusion. Remus couldn't let his emotions get the best of him and it would be twice as hard for him to keep control, as the full moon would up in a couple days and his emotions were always ten times more intense. That is why Remus had practically locked himself up inside his room. No one really came up and bothered him either; they knew it was the week of the full moon.

Remus was sitting on his bed, head against the backboard, reading a book. Well, he had the book out and it was open but it had been opened to the same page for almost twenty minutes, Remus' eyes had not moved. He was too drowned in his thoughts. Tonks. Just the mere mention of the name sent his insides into afrenzy. No matter what he did, he couldn't get the picture of her out of his mind. He kept going through the moment where they had almost kissed. Or were they about to? Well, Remus' head was inclined, but so was hers. But she'd never want to kiss an old man like him…would she? Somehow Remus found that the longer he thought about this, the more his emotions screamed for her.

Remus had to come down. He had to calm himself and force his emotions not to get out of control. He really hoped that Tonks wouldn't come back to Grimmuald Place for the rest of the week. So when he heard a faint knock on the door that interrupted his thoughts, he hesitated before opening it. To his great horror and pleasure was Tonks; she had soft wavy dark brown hair today that rested on her shoulders. She had matching brown eyes, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Remus forced himself to not grab her and start kissing.

"Wotcher Remus." She said softly, smiling a little.

"H-Hey Tonks." Remus said, he had to calm down.

"I just wanted to stop by and say that the mission Dumbledore's got for us doesn't even start 'til after the full moon so you don't have to worry." She informed him.

He smiled at her. Why did she have to be so beautiful? "Okay, thanks Tonks." He said softly.

"Remus, I think we should talk." She said all of a sudden, walking past him and into his room.

Remus was afraid of this. She wanted to talk about what had almost happened last night. Was she mad at him? Did she feel offended in some way? Remus hoped not. Or maybe she wanted to kiss him and she was coming here to confess her love for him? Remus' spirits rose slightly at this thought. But no, that would never happen. She could never love him, he was just an old, poor, werewolf, who would everwant him?

She finally turned around to face him. Her expression was unreadable. "Remus, I-I want to apologize."

Apologize? Why would she want to apologize? Remus gave her a weird look.

"I-I shouldn't have tried to…" She stopped, her cheeks growing a faint tinge of pink.

"Shouldn't have tried to what?" He asked, but he had a feeling he already knew what she was going to say.

"To…to…to kiss you." She purposely looked down at her shoes at this last part.

Remus was stunned. She was sorry for trying to kiss him? But wait. Was that a good thing? Or bad? Remus' stomach was churned uncomfortably.

"Wh-Why would you apologize for something like that?" Remus asked uncertainly.

She looked back up at him. "I don't know." She shook her head. "But I just want you to know that I treasure our friendship immensely and the last thing I would want to do is screw it up." She finished.

Remus stood in silence for a moment. "I treasure our friendship too Tonks." He said softly and smiling. "I'm sorry too." His turn to look down at his shoes.

"For what?" She asked lightly.

"For trying to kiss you too." He said, looking back up at her.

She looked shocked at this. Her mouth was half-open, as if she wanted to speak but couldn't so she shut it. The two stood in silence for a moment before Tonks spoke again."Well, I guess I better get going then. Uh, I'll see you next week then, ok Remus?" She tried hiding a huge grin as she walked past Remus, who saw it nonetheless. She turned around to face him, he looked at her and as he did, her hair transformed into that trademark bubblegum pink accompanied with the hairstyle to match. Her eyes went into a light purple. "Bye Remus." She said as she disappeared down the stairs and from view.

Remus slowly closed his door. What was that all about? She had seemed shocked that he had said he had tried to kiss her too. Did she think she was the only one who had tried to kiss the other? This took Remus back to his previous thoughts; she treasured their friendship immensely. Well, that certainly was good news. Remus loved her as a friend and really liked her. But his heart dropped at this last thought. So, she never had any feelings for him other than friendship. He should be happy, if there was no way she would get attracted to him, he wouldn't have to worry about being too dangerous around her. She was safe. She was safe to go and find someone her own age and be happy.

Remus silently growled at the thought of Tonks laughing along with somebody else.

"Stop that!" He said to himself.

Whenever the full moon was near, his wolfish instincts kicked in, even if he wasn't transformed. And right now, his wolf instincts wanted to do nothing more than tear open any other guy that would make Tonks happy. He needed to stop this! He should be happy. He wouldn't ever have to worry about messing up her life. They were just friends. But what had that shocked reaction been about? And when she left, Remus could have sworn he saw a smile spread across her face. Did she find allthis amusing? Maybe she thoughit was funny that an old man like him ahd tried to kiss a youngwoman such as herself? Remus didn't know and he was most confused.Women were indeed very very confusing and hard to read.

The next several days were very tormenting for Remus. He had now permanently concealed himself inside his room; his wolf instincts were unusually powerful this week. They were never usually so strong, he couldn't control them. But that was not the case, however, this week. Ever since he and Tonks had talked that one-day, his instincts craved her. He couldn't get his mind to rest on anything else, other than her. He paced his room, lost in thought. He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her.

"No! I don't!" He hissed forcefully at himself.

Well, that was a lie, he did love her but he could never have her. He ran the reasons why over and over in his mind. She was young and had an excellent career ahead of her as an Auruor and what was he? He was old, poor and didn't he even have a job. And the main reason, he was a werewolf and this made him very dangerous. Not only because he transformed but also because what if somehow he couldn't get the Wolfsbane Potion? Or what if one time the Wolfsbane Potion didn't work for some reason?

Remus suddenly pictured him as a werewolf attacking Tonks. He shook his head violently, an act which he regretted. It was the day before the full moon and he felt awful. Not only about his relationship with Tonks but because he would be transforming in less than 4 hours. He held his head gingerly, wishing Tonks were here to give one of her Muggle treatments. No! He didn't mean that! Bloody hell, this was maddening.

"I'm going out of my mind." He said aloud to himself, still holding his head.

He soon fell into an unrestful sleep; he hadn't slept at all the previous night. Remus only awoke when he felt the painful sensation of his organs and muscles mutating into the wolf.

"Ahhh!" For the first time in a while, Remus let out a loud, painful yell.

He hoped Molly or the others hadn't heard. He definitely didn't need anyone coming up here now. He clenched his teeth, as he always did, and moaned in pain through clenched teeth. His arms grew hair and his hands transformed into paws. His upper body grew longer and furrier, his legs became the long hind legs of the wolf and his whole face mutated into a long snouted wolf. He whimpered slightly as the transformation became complete.

He crawled on his bed, the full moon lit a full pool of it's light onto him through his window. He wanted Tonks so bad right now. He thought of her and was suddenly very disgusted at his appearance. He got off the bed and crawled into the familiar dark corner of the room and did something he rarely ever did while in wolf form, he cried. A tear slipped down his eye and dripped down his snout and fell off his furry face. He vowed to himself right then and there that he would never ever let Tonks and him be together, even if she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He crawled up and fell asleep.

Remus groaned slightly he was jerked awake suddenly by the transformation from wolf to man. The fur dissolved and skin reappeared, taking its place. His snout was gone and was grown back into a normal nose. His body melted back into a human one and Remus gasped lightly as the transformation was complete. He lay there naked for a moment before slowly getting up and getting dressed. He crawled into bed and gasped when he treaded on his many cuts that had been caused by his transformation. He fell asleep within seconds.

Remus slept off the after effects from the full moon peacefully. He yawned and sat up in bed. It was early evening, he had slept all day. He got off his bed slowly and slowly walked towards his wardrobe to get dressed. It took him longer than usual, his cuts were still open and were very painful. When he had finally got dressed and went downstairs, he inhaled the scent of Molly's cooking before entering the kitchen. Arthur was there, along with Moody, Sirius and Tonks, who still had her short, bubblegum pink hair. Her eyes glittered excitedly when she saw Remus enter.

"Wotcher Remus!" She said enthusiastically.

"Evening Tonks." Remus said friendly. They were just friends.

"Oh Remus! You look absolutely awful! Here, sit down and I'll get you some dinner." Molly rushed over to him and led him to the table.

"Feeling alright?" Arthur asked, looking up from his Muggle newspaper.

"Alright, yes." Remus said, nodding.

Moody's blue eye surveyed Remus. It was very uncomfortable.

Sirius, however, was smirking.

"What's with you?" Remus asked after noticing this.

"Nothing." Sirius replied innocently.

Remus gave his friend a weird look but was distracted by Molly placing a plate full of hot, steaming stew in front of him. It smelled delightful.

"Thank you Molly." Remus said.

"Anytime Remus." She replied. Remus noticed she wassmiling fondly at him, as if he wereher proud son.

Remus looked from Molly to Sirius then to Arthur, he had grown a look a lot like his wife's. Even Moody wore a kind of smirk and his blue eye was darting between Tonks and Remus. What was everyone's problem? Remus, deciding he was too tired to ask questions, ignored everyone and dug into his stew.

"So…Arthur, we should probably get going. We've got guard duty tonight." Moody said after a moments of silence.

"Yes…I think you're right." Arthur said quickly, hastily folding up his newspaper and getting up. "Night dear, I'll see you in the morning." Arthur kissed his wife good-bye and departed with Moody out of the kitchen.

Molly stood there for a moment, staring and smiling, her eyes darting between Remus and Tonks.

"What is it Molly?" Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing." Molly said, shaking her head. "I'll be right back. I've got to…uh…go." She finished quickly and exited the kitchen, leaving Remus with Tonks.

"What was all that about?" Remus asked, looking at Tonks.

She shrugged. "Dunno. You know how they are. Anyway, I talked to Dumbledore and he wants us to tag some suspected Death Eaters, who are supposedly close to You-Know-Who. Dumbledore would get Severus but…you know... he's teaching." Tonks said.

"Ok, sounds good. When does he want us to go?" Remus asked.

"He wants us to start tomorrow. He's told me all the information so I'll just meet you here tomorrow morning, say sixish and I'll fill you in." She said, getting up from the table. "I've got to go. I've got a long report I have to do. Ugh! You'd think the Ministry would have an Auror do something worthwhile but, you know the Ministry." She rolled her eyes.

Remus chuckled and he met Tonks' eyes. She blushed faintly, as did he. He wished he could grab her and kiss her, but he wouldn't allow himself.

She sighed lightly. "Well, I better be going. Night Remus, I'll see you tomorrow." She added. She winked and within a second had apparated out of the kitchen.

Remus ate his stew silently, wishing that he could taste Tonks on his lips and hold her tightly in his arms. He sighed sadly and felt a tear sting his eye.

A/N: Well, there it is, Chapter 12. Did you like? Did you hate? Please please tell me! Oh and I just found out that David Thewlis and his girlfriend for many years, Anna Freil (I think that's spelled right),have had a baby girl that was born in July. Congrats to them (even though I know they'll never read this, lol).


	13. When Love Cannot Be

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any rights or anything like that so please don't anyone sue.

A/N: Thank you to all my loyal reviewers, you guys totally rock and keep me motivated to keep on going. Ok, like I've stated in the last chapter, I've hit a bit of a writer's block so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that great, hopefully I'll overcome this terrible disease. Until then, on with the story!

Remus was already up and waiting when Tonks entered the kitchen, looking half-asleep.

"W-Wotcher Remus." She yawned.

Remus chuckled lightly. "Morning Tonks." He wanted her so bad.

"Shall we get going then?" She asked brightly; still showing off her trademark bubblegum pink hairstyle.

"Yes." Remus nodded.

"Oh, we don't have to walk anywhere." Tonks said, as Remus began to file out of the kitchen. "Dumbledore says that the person we're looking for should be in the Hog's Head all day."

Remus gave her a quizzical look. "Why would someone be at the Hog's Head this time of day?"

Tonks shrugged. "Dunno. I'm just repeating what Dumbledore told me."

"Alright. I guess we should apparate then." He said, convinced of Tonks' answer.

She smiled brightly. "I'll meet you right outside of The Three Broomsticks." She said and before Remus could respond she had disappeared with a tiny "_pop"._

Remus waited a minute before apparating. He was extremely depressed. He didn't get that good of night's rest last night, his mind wouldn't allow him. He kept thinking about Tonks. He wanted her so bad, he had admitted it to himself, but he could never ever allow anything to happen between them other than friendship. Not that Tonks would ever want him anyway, why would she? On the other hand, she had admitted to trying to kiss him, maybe that was something. Remus, realizing he had been standing there for at least a couple minutes shook his head. He had to stay focused. He apparated to the Three Broomsticks where he found Tonks.

"Finally, I thought you got lost." She said giggling.

Remus couldn't help but laugh also. Tonks had a way of making you laugh, even if you were on your deathbed, she could somehow manage to make you crack a smile or two. "Sorry." He said.

She smiled at him; her smile reached her sparkling eyes. "Let's go then." And she led the way towards The Hog's Head.

"Hang on Tonks." Remus said, catching up with her.

She turned to look at him. "What?" She asked.

"Is The Hog's Head even open this time of day?" He asked, looking around Hogsmeade, which was completely deserted.

"Oh yes, The Hog's Head stays open 24 hours, you didn't know that?" She teased.

No, Remus hadn't known that. Tonks, seeing the surprised look on Remus, laughed and hurried along down road. When they reached The Hog's Head, Tonks stopped them before entering.

"We better disguise ourselves." She warned and next second, she had pitch-black hair that fell just pass her shoulders and violently dark green eyes. "Here." She said, reaching behind Remus' neck. For a split second, Remus thought she was going to try and kiss him again. "Put your hood on, no one will be able to see your face." She lifted the hood up and draped it over Remus' head. She had to stand on tiptoe, seeing as she was a bit shorter than Remus. Her face nearly touched his as she pulled the hood over.

Remus never had to assert more self-control than he had to right now. He could easily grab Tonks and plant a kiss on her right then and there, but he couldn't. He bit his tongue to force himself to not give in to his emotions.

"There we go." She said softly, her eyes meeting Remus'. She smiled faintly but her smile grew as she continued to stare at him. Her eyes also seemed to glaze over, as if she were lost in thought or something. Her cheeks began to pinken but her smile never faltered.

Remus also stared back; he wasn't able to look away from her. It was as if she was hypnotizing him, he stared deep into her eyes and his began to glaze over as well. She was so beautiful, why did she have to be so damn beautiful? And why did she have to be everything he wanted and everything he could never have? This was torture. Finally, Remus came to his senses.

He cleared his throat. "Should we, should we get going then?" He asked.

Tonks seemed to snap out of whatever stupor she was in. "Oh, yes, of course." She blushed more as she stepped back from Remus.

The two entered The Hog's Head; it was surprisingly full for the early hour it was. Several witches were all congregated in a dark corner, their faces half-hidden in darkness. Two middle-aged wizards were sitting at a table to the side of the bar; they were hunched over and talking animatedly to one another. And there was a shifty looking wizard, or at least Remus thought he might have been a wizard. He was wrapped entirely in cloth, as if he were a mummy. He was sitting at the bar, sipping drinks.

"Over there." Tonks whispered, she yanked her head towards the two wizards who were talking to each other.

Remus nodded and he and Tonks led the way over to the table that was right behind them. They could hear every word they were saying perfectly; Remus more so than Tonks as his hearing was magnified by being a werewolf.

"So, the Dark Lord has been feeling strange you say?" One of the wizards asked. His voice was deep.

"Yes, he's been having strange feelings. Like one time he was very happy about something but then all of a sudden, he was depressed and sad." The other replied, he had a croaky voice.

"What does he think it is?" The deep-voiced wizard asked.

The other shook his head. "I dunno but he thinks something is up but he won't tell anyone. Anyone except his little pet, Severus, that is." The croaky voiced wizard said bitterly.

"You don't like Severus?" The other asked.

"No! I don't trust him. And neither does Bellatrix either, we both think he's up to something but we dare not argue with the Dark Lord."

The two were silent for a moment, as they took a swig from the drinks they had ordered. Tonks and Remus were so intent on listening to the conversation, they didn't notice the bar keep come up to them.

"What'll it be?" He asked.

They both jumped a little.

"Uh- a glass of…firewhiskey, for me and my friend here." Tonks replied.

The bar keep looked at the two suspiciously but then ran off and a second later had returned with their drinks.

"Firewhiskey at seven in the morning?" Remus asked.

Tonks shrugged. "I don't know. I was just trying to be, you know, dark and mysterious." She said with a smile.

Remus stifled his laughter as the two wizards behind them started talking again.

"What about Potter?" The deep-voiced wizard asked.

This immediately got Remus and Tonks' attention. They were still and silent, not daring to even breathe loudly.

"Oh the Dark Lord has got plans for him." The croaky one said darkly.

"Yea? Like?"

"Well, you know about the Prophecy, right?"

"No, what prophecy?" The deep voiced wizard asked.

The croaky voiced wizard stopped. "Well…if you don't know about the Prophecy, I probably shouldn't tell you. If the Dark Lord hasn't confided in you…" He trailed off.

"Ah, come on." The other coaxed.

The other shook his head. "Nope, sorry. I'm not going to get on the Dark Lord's bad side on account of you."

The other gave up and drank his drink. The two then got up and headed towards the door, Remus and Tonks followed suit. The two wizards were walking along the road, Tonks and Remus kept close by, but not too close so they wouldn't expect anything. The two wizards kept taking odd turns around the buildings in Hogsmeade and they kept weaving in and out of alleyways and such. Finally, when they had disappeared behind a corner, Remus held his arm to stop Tonks from following.

"What?" She asked quietly.

Remus shook his head. "I don't like this, there's something fishy going on. I can sense it."

Tonks wasn't hearing any of it. "Look, if you want to stand around here all day, be my guest, but I'm not about to let two Death Eaters just walk away that easily." She said, keeping her voice down all the while.

Remus looked at her. She had guts, no doubt about it, but she obviously didn't realize the danger of the situation. For all they knew, a group of Death Eaters was waiting just around the corner, ready to attack. Tonks hadn't thought of this point of view as she ducked out from under Remus' arm that was blocking her from going any further and marched on.

"Tonks!" Remus whispered.

She ignored him and continued to walk. Remus didn't like this but he wasn't about to let her go off on her own. He quickly caught up with her as she turned the corner. Remus had been right to think something was up, the two Death Eaters lunged at Tonks as soon as she had turned the corner. She screamed and a jet of light was silhouetted against the wall of the alley. Remus ran as fast as he could and turned the corner to see the two Death Eaters dueling with Tonks. Remus quickly withdrew his wand and uttered a spell that hit one of the Death Eaters, squarely in the jaw. He got thrown back and slammed against the wall, his body still. Remus' spell had obviously knocked him unconscience. The other immediately sent a spell towards Tonks and hit her in the stomach. She dropped to the ground and struggled as if invisible ropes were binding her.

Remus rushed over to her but did not bend down towards her; he still had one Death Eater left.

"_Expelliarmus!"_ Remus shouted before the Death Eater knew what hit him. His wand flew out of his hand and Remus shouted the disarming charm again, this time the spell hit the Death Eater square in the eyes and he slammed back against the wall, like his fallen comrade, knocking him out.

Remus bent down and muttered the counter curse that freed Tonks from her invisible bindings.

She got up. "Remus I-"

We better get going before they wake up." Remus cut her off. He pulled her gently by the arm and led them out of the alleyway and apparated them both back to Grimmauld Place.

Remus couldn't really say he was angry with young Tonks, just…a little annoyed. He had warned her about just barging into that alleyway but she hadn't listened to him, she had marched right into a fight. He knew she was young and restless but that didn't make him any less annoyed with her. He let go of her arm once they were safely back in Headquarters.

"Remus?" Tonks asked attentively once he had released her arm. "Are you…angry with me?"

Remus didn't look her straight in the eye, he now felt immensely guilty. She sounded sad and scared, like a little child. He sighed. "No Tonks, I'm just…I just wish you would have listened to me." He finally got the courage to look into her eyes.

"I'm sorry Remus. You're right, I should've listened to you." She gave Remus the most innocent puppy dog eyes he had ever seen. How could he be annoyed with her now?

He sighed again. "It's all right Tonks, you're just young and impulsive." He smiled faintly.

She smiled guiltily back. "So…are we okay?" She asked slowly.

He nodded. She looked relived and her hair immediately turned back to the short, bubblegum pink hairstyle. Remus chuckled; it was so cute how her hair always seemed to reflect her mood.

"Well, I guess we need to report to Dumbledore." Remus said, glancing around the gloomy house.

"MmHmm." Tonks said.

When Remus returned his gaze towards Tonks, he received a little shock, she had taken several steps closer to him so that her body wasn't even an inch away from his own. He gulped. What was she doing?

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Right then, I'll-I'll go to H-Hogwarts and inform Dumbl-Dumbledore." He babbled. Why couldn't he just grab her and kiss her?

Tonks merely half-nodded, her eyes were glittering mischievously.

Remus clenched his hands into little balls of fists to stop himself from grabbing her in a tight embrace. He mustn't lose control; he had to control his emotions.

She began to step on tiptoe and as she did so, she closed her eyes, her face moving ever so closer to Remus'. Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to kiss her passionately, right here and now, but he couldn't. He had to put a stop to this.

"Well, I better get-get going then." Remus said right as Tonks' face was right in front of his.

He moved hastily out of the way and Tonks' abruptly opened her eyes. He saw that her cheeks had begun to blush; he hoped he hadn't embarrassed her.

"Okay then." She said. She had a frustrated look on her face.

"B-Bye then." He said. Right before he apparated the last thing he saw was Tonks giving him a mischievous, evil smile.

Remus reappeared in Hogsmeade, he hadn't really intended on reporting to Dumbledore just yet. There was so much on his mind. Tonks had definitely tried to kiss him just now and the frustrating part was, he wanted to kiss her too. He sighed heavily and walked slowly up the road that would lead him to Hogwarts. He wished he could apparate back to Grimmauld Place, find Tonks and confess his love for her. But he knew he never could. He could never be with her, no matter how much his heart yearned for her, no matter how much she might have loved him; he just couldn't be with her. He could not bear it if he ever did anything to harm her. He would just have to make it clear that he and Tonks could only be friends, that's it.

A/N: Well there it is, I hope it was ok. Please review and tell me what you all thought, and don't worry, when Remus and Tonks kiss, it'll be well worth the wait.


	14. Blue Christmas

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. I'm just a fellow HP fan who has nothing better to do with their time.

A/N: Hello, I'm back with yet another chapter. But first, I want to take some time to thank one reviewer whose comment really inspired me to write this chapter. To padfoots-smile, thank you so much for your comment. It really got me stoked and fired me up for this chapter. Thank you so much, you seriously have no idea how much you complimented me. And also, thanx to xmaraudergirlsx about giving me the heads up about the weird symbols that appeared. I have no clue as to how or why they appeared. I proof read all my chapters before I post so I seriously don't know how that happened. I'm sorry for that and if anyone else sees the strange symbols appear, just ignore them; I didn't put them there. Anyways, on to the chapter, which seeemd to write itself, I think I've finally gotten over my writer's block. Yay!

It was easy for Remus to avoid Tonks the next several weeks as she had work and he had little various missions for the Order. He only saw her at mealtimes and even then he avoided being alone with her; though she definitely tried to corner him. Remus had decided that the only way to avoid his overwhelming emotions for the witch was for him to try and stay away from her. Molly, unfortunately, noticed Remus' actions towards Tonks and she cornered him one evening after dinner once everyone was gone.

"I don't know why you're acting so strangely around her." Molly said as Remus helped her clear the empty plates from the table.

"I'm not acting strange Molly." Remus protested gently. He appreciated Molly's concern but he really didn't need it right now.

She scoffed. "Hippogriff feathers! I've seen the way you avoid her."

"Now that's not true Molly. I talk to her and we're still very good friends." Remus handed Molly the dirty plates while she muttered a spell for them to start washing themselves.

"You avoid being _alone _with her and you know it." She pierced him with an accusing stare.

Remus was at a loss for words. What could he say? That he secretly loved Tonks but he couldn't be with her because he was too old, poor and dangerous? Certainly not. He sighed.

Molly replaced her accusing stare with a sympathetic look. "Oh Remus, why won't you allow yourself the simple pleasure of love?" She asked.

Remus shook his head. "Molly, please don't." He begged. He really didn't feel like discussing this.

"No Remus, you need to hear this." Molly pressed on. "Now she really has feelings for you; possibly even loves you. And when you avoid her like this, it's not only hurting her but I know it's hurting you too. Now why don't you put your petty reasons aside and just go and be with her?"

Petty reasons? Remus felt that his reasons for not being with Tonks were far from petty. He was a werewolf for Merlin's sake! He was much too dangerous for Tonks, that and he was half her age! Why would Tonks even want to be with an old fool like him anyway? She probably just had a little crush on him, she would get over him in a little while and meet and fall in love with a young, good-looking wizard who could give her everything, even a moonlit stroll. Remus felt tears starting to come.

"Look Molly, I really appreciate your concern, I really do. But I just can't be with Tonks, as much as I want to, I just can't. And I'm sorry if I'm hurting her feelings a little but she'll get over me in time and she'll move on." He said gently, forcing his voice not to crack. "It's late, I'm going to bed. Good night Molly."

"You can't avoid her forever you know Remus." Molly said after him. "You're going to see her at Christmas after all and there will be other times where you're going to have to talk to her."

He slowly walked up the stairs and quietly entered his room and shut the door. He sighed heavily. Why? Why did this have to happen to him? Wasn't his life already complicated enough without being in love? He walked to his wardrobe and pulled on his pajamas. He hated to admit it, but Molly was right, he couldn't avoid Tonks forever. Maybe if he just talked to her, made her see why they couldn't be together and convince her she'd be better off without him. Yes, that was it, just talking to her. But as Remus lie down in his bed, the tears that had threatened to emerge in the kitchen came flooding his eyes.

He didn't want Tonks to be with anybody else. He wanted her to be with him, but they couldn't. Why? Why did he have to live this cursed life? He cried more heavily, not bothering to wipe the tears that were steadily making his way down his cheeks. What made it more torturous for him was that he now knew that Tonks had the same feelings for him as he did her. He sniffed and cried himself to sleep.

October and November passed without much incident, Remus had successfully avoided talking with Tonks one on one, though he still chatted with her at dinner, when Sirius and everybody else was there. She didn't seem too sad or depressed that Remus was avoiding her, she still seemed her bubbly, cheery self; pink hair still in tact. But something happened near Christmas that drove his tortured relationship with Tonks completely out of his mind for the first time. Arthur had been attacked. He had been on guard duty and had dozed off when a long, slithery snake had attacked him. Its venom infected Arthur's bloodstream pretty badly, but he was discovered in time; all thanks to Harry.

Remus heard that Harry had awoken from a violent nightmare at Hogwarts, the night of the attack. He claimed to have witnessed it firsthand. After Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore had gathered up the Weasley children and Harry, they safely transported them to Grimmauld Place where they sat and waited for any news of Arthur. Remus had been at The Burrow when Molly had received the terrible news.

"WHAT! Oh my goodness! Arthur! Where is he? How is he? Will he live, will he be all right?" She asked tearfully when Dumbledore had delivered the news.

"Yes, he will be fine Molly, try not to worry. They are taking care of him at St. Mungo's right now as we speak, they expect he will live but the venom of the snake is very strange but they are taking care of it." He reassured her.

Remus put a comforting arm around Molly and she cried violently into his shoulder.

"You'll be able to see him in a few hours." Dumbledore went on. "I'm so sorry Molly but it was all thanks to Harry that we found him in time."

Molly immediately jerked her head up out of Remus' shoulder. "What?" She asked.

"Harry has had one of his…visions." Dumbledore explained gravely.

"What? I don't understand-" Molly said confused, tears still steadily flowing from her puffy eyes.

"What do you mean?" Remus inquired. Harry having visions couldn't be a good sign.

"He awoke tonight, looking awful. He claimed to have seen the attack on Arthur. I talked to him and we immediately found Arthur and took him to St. Mungo's." Dumbledore went on.

"Oh, God bless that boy." Molly said, crying more profusely once more. "I don't know what this family would do without him."

"It's alright now Molly, everything is going to be okay." Remus said comfortingly.

"Remus is right. Everything will be fine; you will be able to see Arthur now. Remus, will you go inform Tonks and Moody and tell them to escort the children to St. Mungo's with Molly in the morning? I have sent Sirius to stay with the them at Headquarters." Dumbledore said.

"Of course." Remus said, he didn't even think of talking to Tonks one on one, he was too preoccupied with this shocking news.

"Good. Molly, if you'll come with me, I'll go with you to St. Mungo's then I'll have to get back to Hogwarts, I'm sure Dolores Umbridge has already discovered that the children are missing." Dumbledore said. "Remus, here is Tonks' address, apparate there immediately. She'll know where to find Moody." Dumbledore handed Remus a piece of paper.

"Of course Headmaster." Remus took the paper and read it then pocketed it.

"Molly, shall we?" Dumbledore offered his arm to her.

"Of-Of course." Molly choked, grabbing Dumbledore's offered hand.

The two apparated, leaving Remus alone in the Weasley house hold. He concentrated on Tonks' address and soon he appeared in a darkened living room. It was complete with black couch and matching armchair and a big, wooden coffee table in front of the couch. It had lots of various, wild-looking objects on it. There was a tall lamp in the corner and shelves along the walls. He must have apparated right into her living room; he had meant to appear right outside her door. Only then, when he had appeared in the room, did his mind come wandering back to his situation with Tonks. He suddenly had about a million butterflies swarming around in his stomach and his throat had gone unusually dry.

He gulped and crept down the hall and knocked softly on the first door he met on the right, assuming it was her bedroom. He knocked a little more loudly when no answer issued from the door. He turned the doorknob and cracked the door open slightly. He poked his head into the dark bedroom. Despite the darkness, he could make out several large posters of the band, The Weird Sisters, covering the walls. There were a couple of other posters of what Remus assumed were Muggle bands with names such as Green Day, Simple Plan, The Ramones, The Beatles and Rancid. The room was a bit messy, magazines; newspapers and loads of files and papers littered the ground and dresser. Clothes were askew and hanging off the bed, desk and chair.

Remus looked at the bed and saw a large lump in the middle of all the black bedding, it was moving steadily up and down. He gulped again and noticed how hard it was to swallow. He cracked the door open more and walked inside Tonks' room. He walked over to the bed and poked the moving lump.

"Tonks." He whispered, poking her.

Nothing. She must be a heavy sleeper.

"Tonks." He said a bit more loudly, still prodding the sleeping witch.

"Tonks, get up." He shook the lump gently.

She mumbled from under the covers and moved.

"Tonks, it's me, Remus." He said.

Tonks' head immediately protruded from the covers, Remus could tell she still had her bubblegum pink hair. She blinked several times. "R-Remus?" She asked.

"Yea, it's me. You've got to get up, there's been an attack." Remus informed her.

She immediately sat up and jumped out of bed. She was wearing a black tank top with low-cut gray pajama bottoms.

"What! Who? What happened? What's going on?" She asked, all of a sudden alert.

Remus was a bit surprised by Tonks' reaction. He thought for sure she would be asking questions about why he had been avoiding being with her alone.

"It's Arthur Weasley. He's been attacked while on guard duty by a snake. He's at St. Mungo's right now, they are treating him. Dumbledore wants you and Moody to escort Harry and the Weasley children to St. Mungo's tomorrow morning with Molly." Remus informed her, feeling slightly guilty that he thought Tonks looked absolutely cute in her pajamas.

"What? How did they know?" Tonks inquired.

"Harry. He had a…a sort of vision about the attack and he told Dumbledore." Remus said.

Tonks looked stunned. "Wow." She muttered.

Remus nodded. "I know. I've got to go take over for Arthur now but I'll see you later."

Tonks' eyes widened. "What! You're going on guard duty? Where Arthur was attacked?" She looked fearful.

"Yes, I've got to, someone has got to guard the prophecies." Remus replied, a little shocked at Tonks' reaction.

"But-But what if-if you get attacked next?" She sounded positively terrified.

Remus felt a great surge of affection for Tonks. He smiled. "I'll be all right"

"You don't know that! I don't want anything to happen to you." She spoke the last sentence softly, her eyes looking down at her pajama bottoms.

Remus wanted nothing more than to grab her and hold her forever, but he couldn't. "I promise, I'll be all right." He said.

She looked back up into his eyes and before Remus knew what was happening, she had wrapped him in a tight hug, grabbing him around the waist. Remus was startled for a moment. What should he do? Should he hug her back? Or would that give her the wrong impression? He couldn't just stand there. He argued with his thoughts before returning the hug with as much grip as Tonks was showing. He inhaled her sweet scent and was close to confessing his love for her when the crescent moon shown through the curtains of her window.

"Don't go." She said softly.

"I have to, don't worry, I'll be all right. I've had to deal with much worse things other than snakes." He said, hoping he was easing her mind.

She chuckled very lightly and raised her head, which had been resting on his shoulder. "Please be careful." She said.

"I promise." He said.

She unwrapped her arms and stepped back.

"Night." He said.

"Night." She said back.

Remus took one last look at Tonks in her pajamas before apparating straight to the Ministry of Magic to take over Arthur's guard duty.

A couple of days later, on Christmas morning, Remus, along with Moody, Molly and Mundungus escorted the children to St. Mungo's to visit Arthur, Bill had even managed to come along too. Mundungus had 'borrowed' a car to take them to the hospital entrance, as the underground was closed. When they arrived, Arthur was looking sheepishly at his turkey dinner, which the hospital had provided.

"Everything all right Arthur?" Molly asked after everyone had greeted Arthur and given their presents to him.

"Fine, fine." He reassured his wife. "You-er-haven't seen Healer Smethwyck, have you?"

"No." Molly said suspiciously. "Why?"

"Nothing, nothing." Arthur said airily, starting to unwrap his gifts. "Well, everyone have a good day? What did you all get for Christmas? Oh _Harry_ this is absolutely _wonderful!_" Arthur exclaimed as he unwrapped Harry's gift of fuse wire and screwdrivers; Molly didn't look entirely satisfied.

Remus thought Arthur was hiding something from his wife. He had changed the subject so quickly. Molly, obviously, had thought something was up too.

"Arthur." She snapped. "You've had your bandages changed. Why have you had your bandages changed a day early, Arthur? They told me they wouldn't need doing until tomorrow." She said as Arthur's bandages showed as he leaned over to shake Harry's hand.

"What?" Arthur asked, looking rather scared and pulling the bed covers higher up on his chest. "No, no – it's nothing – it's – I –" He seemed to deflate under his wife's piercing stare. "Well – now don't get upset, Molly, but Augustus Pye had an idea…He's the Trainee Healer, you know, lovely young chap and very interest in…um…complementary medicine…I mean, some of these old Muggle remedies…well, they're called _stitches_ Molly, and they work very well on – on Muggle wounds – "

Molly let out an ominous noise. Remus immediately strolled over to the patient that he learned had been bitten by a werewolf, knowing that Molly was about to blow her top. Apparently, everyone else noticed this as Bill muttered something about getting himself a cup of tea and the twins leapt up to accompany him, grinning.

"Hi there." Remus greeted the newly born werewolf.

Remus attempted to block out Molly's ever-rising voice: "Do you mean to tell me that you have been messing with Muggle remedies?"

"Not messing about, Molly, dear." Arthur said imploringly. "It was just – just something Pye and I thought we'd try – only, most unfortunately – well, with these particular kinds of wounds – it doesn't seem to work as well as we'd hoped – "

"_Meaning?"_

"Well…well, I don't know whether you know what – what stitches are?"

"It sounds as though you've been trying to sew your skin back together." Molly said, with a snort of mirthless laughter, "but even you, Arthur, wouldn't be _that_ stupid – "

At this Harry announced that he too needed a cup of tea, Hermione, Ron and Ginny following him. It was impossible for Remus to talk to the fellow werewolf, who was watching Molly and Arthur with much apprehension.

"Well, that is – that is the general idea." Arthur stammered. Remus knew what was coming.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?" Molly shrieked.

"Now, Molly, dear, don't get upset-" Arthur pleaded.

Remus winced as Molly's piercing shouts echoed through the hospital room. After she had finished ranting, Arthur's face looking as red as his hair and he was looking down.

"So…you're a werewolf, huh? Me too." Remus said conversationally to the patient.

The werewolf tore his gaze away from Arthur and Molly to stare at Remus. "Yea?" He asked.

Remus nodded. "Yes and it's not as bad as you might think." Remus reassured him.

"Really?"

"Really. In fact, with the Wolfsbane Potion, you can live an almost normal life." Remus said, trying to sound cheerful.

The werewolf's eyes lit up. "Really? What will that potion do, stop the transformation?" He looked positively excited.

"Not exactly. It allows you to keep your mind when you transform." Remus said, hoping that this news wouldn't dampen the patient's spirits.

"Well…I guess it's better than nothing." The patient shrugged.

Remus smiled and talked to the werewolf. By the time he left, Remus felt good about making another person inflicted with the same condition, as he did, feel a little bit better.

A/N: So, what did you think? I hope you all enjoyed it, 'cause it was loads of fun to write. I would have gone into further detail with Remus' chat with the werewolf patient, but the chapter was already getting pretty long. Well, please please review! I can't belive I broke 100 reivews, not that I was aiming for any number, I'm just so pleased and honored that my story was worthy of so many great reviews by all you awesome people who take a little time out of your day to voice your opnions and thoughts. Thank you all!


	15. Morning on the Knight Bus

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K., I'm just a young punk who writes alot.

A/N: I would have had this chapter up last night but I had to tweak it a bit. Anyways, I don't have much time to chat, I'll be late for work. Hope you enjoy the chapter and a kiss is coming very very soon, wink wink.

After the holidays were over and Harry and the rest of the children were getting ready to leave for Hogwarts, Sirius got really depressed and sullen again. He had been in such a good mood before and during Christmas but now all he did was retreat up to the attic with Buckbeak. Remus had tried talking to his friend but Sirius wasn't listening.

"I'm really worried about him." Remus was telling Molly and Tonks one evening at Headquarters.

"Oh, he'll be fine. He's just got a fit of the sullens is all." Molly said.

Tonks shook her head. "I don't know Molly, Sirius has been awful depressed and quiet lately; not at all his usual self."

Remus agreed. "I suppose it's because Harry is going back to school."

"You know, I think sometimes Sirius forgets that Harry isn't his father." Molly commented.

Remus knew this was true. Sirius and James had been super close, heck, James had made Sirius Harry's Godfather for crying out loud. It had hurt Sirius the most when he found out that James and Lily were dead and he must have felt even worse when he was blamed for it. Remus sighed and wished the old Sirius he knew was here; the one that was sarcastic and witty, the one who was always talking and cracking jokes but that Sirius had died along with James.

"I hope he snaps out of it." Tonks said worriedly.

"I do too." Remus said quietly.

Molly yawned. "Well, I'm off to bed, good night you two." She had a mysterious glint in her eye.

"Good night Molly." Remus said, not noticing that he and Tonks would be left alone as soon as Molly was gone.

"Night Molly." Tonks said.

Molly bade them good night and left the kitchen and it was only then that Remus noticed that he and Tonks were the only ones left in the kitchen. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable, depressed, happy and scared all at once. Was this what love felt like?

He cleared his throat softly. "Well, I better be off to bed too. I've got to be to bed early so I can escort Harry and everyone to Hogwarts."

"Oh, me too." Tonks said brightly, her bright bubblegum pink hair bringing out her bright purple eyes.

Remus was surprised. He thought he was the only one who had to escort Harry to Hogwarts. He knew Dumbledore must have done this on purpose, to try and get Remus and Tonks alone together. Why couldn't everyone just butt out? No one understood the dangers Tonks would be in if Remus ever allowed them to be together.

"Remus?" Tonks asked cautiously.

Remus turned to look at her.

"Um, could we-could we talk for a moment?" She looked him in the eye.

Remus gulped, well, he knew this day would come. He would have to explain to Tonks that they could never be together.

"I need to know…why have you been avoiding me lately?" She asked.

Remus took a deep breath and forced himself to look into those purple eyes. "Tonks…I …the reason I've been avoiding you is…because…" He didn't know exactly how to say it.

Tonks seemed to know what he wanted to say, however. "Because you're afraid of your feelings for me? You're afraid that if we were to ever be together, that it'd be too dangerous for me. Right?"

Remus was slightly shocked, he had his mouth half-open. He nodded.

Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes. "Remus, you should know that I don't care about you being a werewolf and that I can take care of myself."

Remus shook his head. "It's not just the werewolf thing I worry about. It's so many other things."

"Like what?" She prodded.

"Well, for one I'm nearly twice your age, I'm way too old for you and secondly…I'm not exactly what you would call wealthy." He said this last part a little quietly and looked down at the table.

"Oh Remus." She sounded sympathetic. "Those are the most ridiculous reasons I've ever heard!" She now sounded a little irritated.

Remus looked back up to see Tonks shaking her head with a little smile. "They're not ridiculous Tonks, they're all true and all real reasons why I can never be with anyone, not ever."

He was a little hurt and frustrated that Tonks didn't take his reasons seriously. Didn't she take anything seriously? How could she possibly say that dating a werewolf who was dirt poor and nearly twice her age was not a big deal? Women were very odd indeed.

Tonks scoffed. "They're not real reasons Remus, you just don't want to be with anyone 'cause you think you'll ruin their life and you also like to shut people out."

Remus was at a loss of words. He did not shut people out, well, he did a little but that was for their own protection.

Tonks continued on. "You don't want to be vulnerable (emotionally). Just because you're a werewolf doesn't mean that you're not a human being who doesn't have the right to be happy with someone else. Why can't you see that?" She asked desperately.

Remus couldn't take any more of this conversation. He had to get out of here, the longer he stayed here with Tonks, the more he considered just revealing his feelings for her. He got up.

"Look Tonks, I'm flattered and happy that you have certain feelings for me other than friendship but it would just never work. We're two completely different people." He said kindly.

She smiled at him.

"I'm going to get off to bed then. I do hope we can still be friends." He said. He didn't want any awkwardness between them, he really did treasure and value the friendship that they had.

"Of course." She said.

Remus said good night to Tonks, wanting to tell her how much he cared for her and grab her in a passionate embrace.

After he had exited the kitchen, he could have sworn he heard Tonks say: "I'm not giving up on you yet Remus Lupin." Before she broke something (probably a plate).

Remus met up again with Tonks the following morning. He had gotten up early and decided to go down to the kitchen for some breakfast. He received a shock when he saw that Tonks was sitting there, pink hair and all, eating some porridge. She looked up when Remus entered.

"Wotcher Remus." She said cheerfully.

Remus was a bit relieved to see that she wasn't going to be awkward or different around him. He felt a bit better.

"Morning Tonks." He replied with a smile.

"Come, sit, have some porridge, I made it myself." She said happily, pointing towards the empty chair that was across from her.

"Thank you Tonks." He replied, sitting down while Tonks conjured up a bowl with some delicious looking porridge out of nowhere with her wand.

He tasted the concoction that was in his bowl and was surprised by how good it tasted. He had never had anything this good; not even from Molly; Tonks certainly knew her way around the kitchen.

"Good?" She asked.

"MmHmm." Remus nodded, swallowing his last spoonful before answering. "This is wonderful Tonks."

Tonks blushed lightly. "Oh stop." She said playfully, hitting his arm softly.

Remus and Tonks both chuckled.

"So…Remus have you thought about what we talked about last night?" She asked casually, stirring her spoon around in her bowl.

Remus nearly choked on his porridge. He thought that they had already discussed this? He thought that they had decided to just be friends?

"Well?" She asked when Remus had not answered.

Remus didn't know what to say, exactly. He had thought a great deal about what they had discussed and the more he thought about it, the more confused and depressed he became. Why did life have to be this complicated?

"Yes…I have." He said, looking down at his bowl and losing his appetite.

"And?" She coaxed him.

"And…I still stand by my decision and reasons, no matter how ridiculous they may be." He replied, a little coolly; he was still a bit irritated with her for not taking his reasons seriously.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Look Remus." She looked to the door, as if someone was going to barge through at any moment. She looked back at Remus when she was satisfied that no one was going to interrupt them and bent over the table and said very quietly, "I don't care about those idiotic reasons. I care about you. I don't care if you don't make much money or that you're a little older than I am. What does it even matter? And as for the werewolf thing, if you have your potion, then what danger would I ever be in?"

Remus bent closer to Tonks and whispered also (Kreacher or anyone else could be lurking about and this was a pretty personal conversation). "Look Tonks, you may not take my being a werewolf seriously, but I do. What if the potion didn't work for some reason or I wasn't able to get it? Then what? I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you…or anyone else for that matter." He said the last part hurriedly.

Tonks sighed once again and spoke in a hushed tone. "I don't care about any of that Remus! I care about you; I really do. And I don't care if it takes me a lifetime, I'm going to make you see that all your reasons don't matter."

"Well, you'd be wasting your life then." He said quietly and sighing.

Tonks was about to retort when Harry, Ron and Hermione walked in. The two adults stopped their conversation immediately and ate breakfast as if there was nothing wrong, although Tonks shot Remus stern looks from across the table. After everyone had finished breakfast and got all their things together, Remus and Tonks (who was disguised heavily as a tall, tweedy woman with iron-gray hair) set out into the chilly January weather along with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George and Ginny. They reached the pavement; they were going to be taking the Knight Bus back to Hogwarts.

"Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better." Tonks said, she looked very nervous and anxious; Remus knew it was because of Harry.

Remus flew out his right arm. BANG. A violently purple, triple-decker bus appeared out of thin air in front of them. It narrowly missed the nearest lamppost, which jumped backwards out of its way just in time. A thin, pimply, jug-eared youth in a purple uniform leapt down onto the pavement in front of them.

"Welcome to the-" He started to say.

"Yes, yes, we know, thank you." Tonks interrupted swiftly. "On, on, get on-"

She shoved Harry forward toward the steps, past the conductor who was goggling at Harry as he passed.

"'Ere – it's 'Arry - !"

"If you shout his name I will curse you into oblivion." Tonks muttered menacingly, now shunting Ginny and Hermione forward.

Remus thought Tonks seemed pretty irritated about something but maybe it was just because she was worried about Harry's well being…or it could possibly have been the conversation he and Tonks had had in the kitchen.

"I've always wanted to go on this thing." Ron said happily, joining Harry on board and looking around.

The bus was crammed with assortments of mismatched chairs grouped haphazardly around windows. Some of these appeared to have fallen over when the bus stopped abruptly in front of Grimmauld Place; a few witches and wizards were still getting to their feet, grumbling while a mixture of frog spawn, cockroaches, and custard creams littered the floor.

"Looks like we'll have to split up." Tonks said briskly. "Fred, George, and Ginny, if you just take those seats at the back…Remus can stay with you…"

Remus couldn't help but notice the tone of Tonks' voice when she had said his name. He gathered the three Weasleys and led them towards the back of the bus where they sat down on the mismatched chairs.

"What's her deal?" George asked quietly, leaning towards Remus and inclining his head towards Tonks, who was proceeding up to the top deck with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"She's tired. Been up all night." Remus lied quietly.

He knew the reason Tonks was a little upset this morning but he dare not voice the reason out loud; he hoped the children would buy this answer. But no one had a chance to talk as the Knight Bus went on its way. BANG. Everyone was flung backwards; Remus nearly toppled out of his chair and managed to hold on to Ginny before she went flying while the twins went flying out of their seats.

"You alright?" Remus asked, feeling he might be sick.

The twins nodded and got up to their chairs again but before they had sat all the way down in their chairs, BANG, they were flung backwards once more. Remus had kept his arm on Ginny, to prevent her from falling and she clung to him for dear life; she looked awfully pale.

"What the bloody hell!" One of the twins said angrily as both of them managed to successfully sit in their seats before the bus did another horrible BANG.

Finally, they arrived at Hogwarts, everyone was glad to be getting off. Remus felt he left his stomach on the bus, it felt very weird to be walking; his legs felt like Jell-O. The twins were grumbling and Remus had to escort Ginny off; she still was pale and her eyes were wide.

"Ginny, are you all right?" Remus asked kindly once she was off.

She nodded.

Remus and Tonks helped the children with their luggage.

"You'll be safe once you're in the grounds." Tonks said, casting a careful eye around the deserted road. "Have a good term, okay?"

"Look after yourselves." Remus said, shaking hands all around and reaching Harry last. "And listen…" He lowered his voice while the others exchanged last minute good-byes with Tonks. "Harry, I know you don't like Snape, but he is a superb Occlumens and we all – Sirius included – want you to learn to protect yourself, so work hard, all right?" Remus had just learned of Snape's Occlumency lessons with Harry just the other day and Sirius was none too happy about it.

"Yeah, all right." Harry replied heavily. "See you then…"

Remus and Tonks watched for few seconds as the six children walked their way up to the school then turned around and got back on the Knight Bus. The two adults settled themselves in the back where Remus, along with the twins and Ginny, had sat earlier. Tonks looked out the window, looking very worried.

"He'll be all right." Remus tried reassuring her.

"Mmm." Was all she said, not tearing her eyes away from the window until the Knight Bus set off again with a BANG.

Remus nearly fell out of his chair but Tonks, knowing what was coming, had grabbed on to a railing by the window, still looking out it. Remus settled himself in the chair and, like Tonks, grabbed onto a railing to prevent himself from falling. He glanced at Tonks and saw that she looked sad.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He hoped that he hadn't made her feel this way.

She nodded, still looking out the window.

Remus sighed. "Listen…Tonks, I'm sorry if I upset you this morning with what I said, but you've got to understand-" He stopped short as Tonks head turned to look at him. She had a most unreadable look.

"What?" She asked puzzled. "Oh, oh that, no don't be silly, I'm not concerned with that just now." She half-laughed. Remus felt somewhat hurt and angered that she had completely forgotten their conversation this morning. "No, it's not that. I just…I worry about Harry is all." She looked down then out the window once more.

"Oh, well don't worry, he's in good hands. He hasDumbledore after all." Remus said, trying to cheer her up.

"I guess." She replied.

The Knight Bus did a couple more hideous BANGS before it reached Grimmauld Place, which was nowhere to be seen. Tonks and Remus got off and once the Knight Bus had disappeared, they concentrated and number 12 squeezed its way in between 11 and 13. Remus glanced at Tonks and noticed she had gone back to her trademark look of short, bubblegum pink hair and purple eyes. He wished he could make her feel more at ease about Harry.

A/N: Sorry the chapter ends so abruptly but I didn't really have time to write more, it would have been too long of a chapter. But please review and tell me what you thought of it.


	16. Thinking of You

Disclaimer: Believe me, if I owned ANY rights or anything like that to Harry Potter, I wouldn't be working.

A/N: Ok, here it is, Chapter 16. Sorry if it's a bit short but I've been finding it hard to write a really long chapter when I'm scheduled to work 9 days straight for 8 hours; especially yesterday (Labor Day) but anyways I'm off Thursday and Friday so hopefully I'll be writing some really long, good chapters. Until then, I hope this will do. And to padfoots-smile of course I'll R&R your story, I promise.

After Harry had been a school for a week or two, Sirius started coming down from his hiding place. He was still a bit sullen and sad but he was getting along a lot better. Remus was glad his friend got over this bought of depression; there was just too much of it already, much of it was shared by Remus. He hadn't spoken to Tonks alone since they had dropped off Harry and the others at Hogwarts. She still seemed her normal self but she always had a sad look in her eyes whenever she looked at Remus and it broke his heart every time he saw it.

"I don't know why you two just don't go wrap into one another's arms and snog already." Sirius said to Remus one afternoon in the parlor.

Remus blushed at this comment; Sirius was always a bit blunt and crude. "Look Sirius, I already told you, I can't be with anyone, no matter how much I want to be." He went back to flipping through the book he was reading.

The two Marauders were in the parlor, enjoying a rare quiet afternoon just chatting. It reminded Remus of his school days when Sirius, James, Peter and himself would walk out to the Great Lake and sit down by the huge tree where they would talk and laugh.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You know Remus, you can be a bit stupid sometimes."

Remus looked up from his book. "You know, I'm getting a bit sick and tired of everyone butting into my personal life. I appreciate everybody's concern for my happiness and all but it's nobody's business." Remus replied firmly.

He was fed up with everybody telling him to forget that he was an old, poor werewolf and to just allow himself to be with Tonks. They just didn't get it and they never would. He was sorry if he had hurt Tonks' feelings a little bit but she'd get over it…wouldn't she? Remus suddenly thought of Tonks never falling in love with anyone else because she still loved Remus and dying alone and sad. No, she wouldn't be like that. She was young, beautiful, smart, funny, a wonderful person to be around, she was great with children and she didn't judge people based on stereotypes, she accepted people for who they were. Remus jerked himself out of his thoughts, realizing he was allowing himself to be carried away in thoughts of her once again.

Sirius had obviously noticed this too because he scoffed and said, "See? Just the mere mention of her and you go all glassy eyed and you get that ridiculous smile on your face and it makes you look really goofy." He said, smiling.

Remus blushed lightly. "What? I do not get a stupid smile on my face and I don't think of Tonks." Remus denied.

Sirius wasn't buying it. "Ha! That's a laugh! I've heard you in your room some nights, always calling out her name, 'Oh Tonks, I love you.'" Sirius laughed.

Remus blushed darker. He had been muttering in his sleep? This was awful! He had been dreaming about Tonks often, it always ended with the two of them hugging and kissing and being together. Had anyone else heard his mumblings? He hoped not, that would just be way too embarrassing. He hoped Sirius had the common decency not to go telling Tonks of Remus' dreams.

Sirius laughed more at Remus' blushing.

"Shut up." Remus said, but not really meaning it; he was still blushing crimson.

"Ah, Remus. It looks like you're in love mate." Sirius said after his laughter had subsided, but he was still smiling.

"I am not." Remus muttered, turning back to his book.

"Remus." Sirius sighed. "I really wish you'd stop all this nonsense and just go confess your love for Tonks. She loves you, you know and she doesn't care about your 'furry little problem' or that you don't have a steady job or that you're old. She cares about you, the real you."

Remus didn't know what to say. He knew all this was true of course but he just couldn't allow himself to fall in love, he had lost just about everyone he had ever loved and he just couldn't go through that pain again. He suddenly imagined cradling Tonks' lifeless limp form and sobbing. Stop it! He had to stop these morbid visions.

Sirius sighed and got up from his chair. "I'm going to go check on Buckbeak; Kreacher has been trying to hurt him for some reason. But just think about his Remus, you say you don't want to be with Tonks because you're afraid you'd hurt her, but you're hurting her now. She's really bummed that you don't want to give her a chance and I know you're hurting too so why put yourself and her through the pain? Just go tell her that you love her." And with that, he left the parlor.

Remus' head was swimming with thoughts. He suspected that Tonks was hurting a little but Sirius made it sound as if he, Remus, had actually broken the young woman's heart. He felt awful. But what nobody knew was that Remus' heart broke every time he saw Tonks. He wanted her so bad, wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how he would always love her no matter what and that he would never leave her. It was torture having something you want and need so badly just mere inches away from you yet being so far away that you couldn't reach it. He sighed, closed his book and exited the parlor room; his mind buzzing with thoughts of Tonks.

The next several days, Remus argued with himself. Part of him wanted to tell Tonks how he felt but the other part kept nagging at him that if he did, it would ruin Tonks' young life that she had ahead of her. He paced up and down his room, his mind felt like a battle zone with half of his mind telling him to go to Tonks while the other side told him not to. It was very confusing. If this didn't stop soon, he might go mad. He was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed the door creak open.

"Remus?" A female voice said.

Remus stopped pacing immediately and looked toward the cracked open door. He knew that voice, it belonged to Tonks.

"Remus?" She repeated.

Remus went to the door and held it open all the way. There was Tonks, looking drop dead gorgeous (as usual) with her bubblegum pink hair and bright purple eyes. Why did she have to look at him like that? The look made Remus feel that if Tonks wanted all the money Gringotts he would go and get it for her in a heartbeat.

"What is it Tonks?" Remus asked kindly, gazing into her eyes.

"Um…" Was all she said. She looked extremely nervous; her eyes darted towards the floor.

"Yes?" Remus urged her.

She sighed and looked back up to Remus' eyes and before he knew what had happened, Tonks had grabbed him in a passionate lip-lock. Remus was very startled at first but after a second, he realized what was happening. He had to pull away, but his legs seemed to be cemented to the floor. He didn't know what to do; he hadn't had much experience in kissing, should he kiss her back? Should he pull away? He didn't want to pull away from her embrace so he did the one thing he had been dying to do for a long time, all the while the nagging voice in the back of his head kept telling him not to. He slid his arm around Tonks' waist and opened his mouth slightly against Tonks' lips. Tonks seem to be startled at this move by Remus for a split second before opening her lips and sliding her tongue in Remus' mouth, allowing Remus' tongue access to hers.

Remus felt as if he were floating on air, her kiss, the way she felt, the way she smelled; all of it was giving Remus a natural high. He put his other hand against Tonks' face and pushed it up into her hair. She put her hands on the back of Remus' head and stroked his hair gently, giving Remus' goose bumps. They stood there, in Remus' doorway, making out like there was no tomorrow. How had he lived without her? Where had she been all his life? He never wanted this moment to end; nothing could spoil it, nothing that is except for an interruption.

"Holy hell!" Sirius yelled.

Remus and Tonks immediately broke away, both of them very red in the face. Sirius had apparently come up the stairs and had walked right into Remus and Tonks making out in the doorway. Remus felt extremely embarrassed and stupid while Tonks' face took the shade of a tomato and her bubblegum pink hair turned to a shade of very hot pink. Sirius wore a very wide smile, his eyes darting back and forth between Remus and Tonks.

"I knew it! Way to go Moony!" Sirius yelled again. This time his yell had awoken the portrait of his mother.

"NASTY FILTH INVADING MY FAMILY'S PUREBLOODED HOME! SCUM AND HALF-BREEDS COMING AND GOING AS THEY PLEASE!" Mrs. Blacks' yells were earsplitting.

Sirius dashed back downstairs, still wearing the same wide grin to go and shut the curtains on his mother. Her yells were cut short instantly. Remus glanced at Tonks, noticing that he could no longer look her in the eye. She turned to look at him; she looked as if she were trying to hide a smile. Remus quickly looked at the floor when Tonks' eyes had met with his. A second later, Sirius emerged.

"Molly wants us for dinner now but I'll tell her you two already had a start on dessert." Sirius said, now laughing.

Remus wished his friend would shut up. It was quite embarrassing having your best friend walk in on you while you were making out with his cousin.

"T-Tell Molly we'll be right there." Tonks said breathlessly.

Sirius gave Remus a wink and a smile and went back downstairs, no doubt going to tell Molly and Arthur and anyone who would listen about Remus and Tonks' little make out session. Once he was gone, Remus forced himself to look Tonks in the eye.

"Tonks I-" He started; Tonks turned to look at him. It was now or never, he had to tell her how he felt. He had never had to gather up as much courage as he had to right now. "I-I love you." He finished. Was she going to laugh? Cry? Slap him? Remus didn't know what to expect. What if she told him that she didn't love him? That the kiss they had shared had been a mistake; a horrible mistake? What if she told him that she only wanted a little fling and that she could never love someone like him?

To Remus' relief, Tonks broke into a wide grin. "Oh Remus, I love you too!"

"Y-You do?" He asked. How could anyone ever love him? Was it even possible?

"Of course I do!" She laughed. "Who couldn't help but love you?"

Remus felt as if everything in the world had finally gone right. Nothing-mattered right now; not Voldemort, not the Order, not anything. The only thing that mattered was that he, Remus Lupin, had fallen in love. He wrapped Tonks in a tight hug, which she returned with as much as enthusiasm. "I love you Tonks." He repeated into her hair. She smelled so good and her skin was soft and smooth.

She giggled. "I love you too Remus."

Remus had never been happier. Why had he denied himself this simple pleasure of love for so long? He hated to admit it, but everyone else had been right. He had been so stupid. Tonks didn't care that he was old, poor and a werewolf so why should he? He hugged Tonks tighter, never wanting to let her go. He eventually let her go (they still had to go to dinner) and was shocked to see that she had turned into Sirius.

"Hey Remus, wake up! Molly wants us for dinner!" He said.

Remus felt someone shove him and opened his eyes very slowly.

"Oy! Get up! Dinner's ready!" Sirius said.

Remus blinked a couple of times, trying to remember where he was. He looked around and remembered that he was in his room at Grimmauld Place.

"Yea…ok I'm coming." Remus replied groggily.

He heard Sirius chuckle. "And if you want to tell Tonks you love her, she's downstairs."

Sirius exited the room and Remus sat fully up in his bed. Tonks was here? Right now? He rubbed his eyes hard, trying to remember the dream he had been having. He had been kissing Tonks and he had confessed his love for her; as did she. He rubbed his eyes hard and smiled into his hands, the kiss had felt so real, and Tonks had felt so real. He looked up from his hands and was suddenly very sad. It had only been a dream, he had never kissed Tonks; he had never told her how he felt and she had certainly not said that she loved him. The real Tonks was waiting downstairs. He suddenly felt very sick. Tonks was here, she was downstairs. How could he possibly face her after the dream he had been having? He blushed at the mere thought of her. How could he possibly face her now?

Maybe the dream was some sort of sign; maybe it was a sign that he should go and tell Tonks how he felt. But no, he could never, ever do that. He had his reasons as to why he couldn't be with her and he was sticking with him; even if everyone else didn't take them seriously. He sighed and rubbed his temples. This was just too much. Maybe if he told Tonks how he felt, this madness would stop? No, he couldn't. He didn't even know if Tonks really loved him or not. Everyone else had just told him that Tonks loved him. She had said that she had only cared for him and that was completely different…wasn't it? Remus had a huge migraine. He got out of bed and smoothed out the wrinkles in his shabby robes and headed downstairs to dinner; not having much of an appetite.

A/N: Please don't kill me for the dream sequence! I'm sorry but it was just too good of a tease to pass up. I promise though that the next kiss won't be a dream and it's coming up in a just a couple more chapters (I swear). And FYI the chat with Sirius in the parlor room was real. But please review (I'm sure I'm going to get tons of hate reviews for my tease; again I'm sorry).


	17. Ups and Downs

Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned Harry Potter or any rights to it but I do not, sigh.

A/N: Hello my fellow fan fiction readers! Sorry it took me longer than usual to update, I was off on Thursday and today and I went and got a Green Day tattoo and it's really sore so I basically laid around a lot and didn't get out of bed but while I was laying there, I had lots of ideas for my story. And I just want to say a special thank you to reviewers: axel0308 for understanding why I didn't make Remus and Tonks kiss yet and for totally understanding how they fell in love and to CAP.L for complimenting my writing and for reading both my stories, thank you and also thanks to the rest of you who reviewed and again, I'm sorry I was evil and teased you. But I swear, I promise that when they kiss it will be soooo worh the wait. Until then, please enjoy this chapter.

The past several weeks, Remus was in a deep depression; although he hid it from the others. He didn't want them worrying (especially Molly) and he certainly didn't want anyone's pity. He spent most of his time in his room, though he came down every once in a while to talk with Sirius or Molly just so they wouldn't suspect anything. He seemed to have fooled them that is until he accidentally overheard a conversation Molly and Sirius were having in the kitchen.

"I'm awfully worried about him, Sirius." Molly said concernedly.

Sirius sighed. "Me too. All he does is sit up in his room and sulk."

"I'm telling you, it's because of Tonks." Molly said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not disagreeing with you Molly but you don't know Remus like I do, he's a stubborn git sometimes. And I know he has feelings for her, I've seen the way he looks at her and talks to her, he loves her but the idiot just won't let himself fall in love." Sirius said.

Remus, who was on the other side of the door listening felt a bit angry. Why did they feel the need to talk behind his back? And why couldn't everyone just but out of his love life? Yes, he did love Tonks, he had admitted it, but he had told them all time and time again that he could never be with her, even if she loved him back. He started to feel depressed again as Molly spoke.

"I just don't see why he feels the need to shut everyone out."

"Ah, that's just always been Remus. He's always pushed everyone out, even James and me. I don't know why he does it."

Remus had had enough. He quietly went back up the stairs and back to his room. He was feeling angrier at what he just heard. Why couldn't anyone understand? He was a werewolf! He couldn't just go and fall in love whenever he felt like. He was dangerous; unpredictable, it was just too risky for anyone to be around him and close to him. No one knew the pain it would cause him if he found out he had hurt someone. Remus suddenly remembered when he was teaching at Hogwarts and he had forgotten to take his potion. He had transformed right on the spot and had almost attacked Harry, Ron, Hermione and Sirius. What if he had hurt one of them?

Remus shook his head of these thoughts. Maybe if Sirius and Molly were werewolves they'd understand why Remus had shut everyone out. He couldn't allow himself to be close to anyone again. It had been a different story with James, Sirius and Peter, for one he was young and didn't really understand how dangerous he was. What had they all been thinking, turning into Animagi and running about the school grounds and Hogsmeade every full moon? Since James' death, Remus had learned to be a lot more cautious. He never underestimated the dangers of being a werewolf again and he certainly never allowed anyone to be close to him, emotionally, again. Not only was he afraid of how dangerous he was, but also he could not go through the pain of losing someone he loved again.

Remus felt small tears well up in his eyes. He brushed them away, frustrated with himself for crying. He took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed. He waited a few minutes before emerging from his room and heading back down to the kitchen; he couldn't let Sirius and Molly know that he had heard their conversation.

The next morning Remus entered the kitchen to a loud noise.

"Did you see Remus? Did you see?" Sirius asked him excitedly.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked. What was going on?

"Oh, just look Remus, it's wonderful!" Molly said through tears. She handed Remus a magazine which turned out to be _The Quibbler_ and on the front page was Harry smiling sheepishly up at him with large, red letters across it reading: **Harry Potter Speaks Out At Last: The Truth About He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named And The Night I Saw Him Return**.

Remus was speechless. Harry had gone to the press about the night Voldemort returned? Remus flipped the pages and found the article. After he had finished reading it he looked up to see Sirius and Molly smiling at him broadly.

"Well?" Sirius said.

"This is…" Remus started to say. He didn't know exactly what to say. He was so happy for Harry. He had told his story, even though some of the wizarding world would think he was crazy, he still told it.

"It's great!" Sirius boasted. Remus had never seen him so happy.

"I can't believe the courage that boy has." Molly said tearfully. "I've never been so proud."

Remus smiled. "Nor could I." He agreed. Remus could just imagine James and Lilly smiling down on their son and being proud.

"Way to go Harry! You show the bloody Ministry!" Sirius said as he took the magazine from Remus and read the article, probably for the hundredth time.

Remus couldn't help but be slightly cheerful all day. He was so glad that Harry had shown the Ministry; shown Umbridge. He laughed to himself as he imagined the look on Fudge's and Umbridge's face when they saw _The Quibbler_. Remus' good mood was brought down only slightly by Tonks when she showed up the next day, with blonde hair and black hair underneath, when Remus, Sirius and Molly were in the living room.

"Wotcher everyone." She said brightly, Remus noticed that she didn't look straight at Remus.

"Hey Nymphadora! Did you see?" Sirius jumped up excitedly from his armchair.

"Yes, yes I have seen." She said with a small laugh. "In fact, that's sort of the reason I came over." She suddenly looked a bit sad. Sirius sat back down and Remus leaned forward. "Umbridge has just passed another one of her decrees that bans _The Quibbler_ from Hogwarts."

"What!" Sirius jumped back up.

"Can they do that?" Molly asked.

Tonks nodded grimly. "Unfortunately they can."

Everyone in the room wore a grim expression but Remus, who was smiling.

"What are you smiling at?" Sirius asked accusingly. Everyone turned to stare at him, except Tonks who chose to stare at the lamp that was by him.

"Don't you see?" Remus said through a smile. "If the Ministry has banned the article from Hogwarts, every student in the school will be reading it."

They all gave him puzzled looks.

Remus elaborated. "C'mon, when something is banned at school, you know all the students are just dying to get their hands on it and bring it in. I think you know that most of all Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "That's right! Remus, you're a genius!" He sounded much happier.

Tonks and Molly smiled too. For once, it looked like things were going to be looking up for their side. Now that Harry had told his story, there was sure to be witches and wizards that changed their mind about Harry being a nutter.

"Well, I have to get back to work." Tonks said suddenly. "See you all later." She added as she walked through the door and out of Grimmauld Place.

Molly and Sirius stared at Remus who just concentrated on his book, pretending he didn't notice.

"Honestly Remus, sometimes." Molly said as she got up from her chair; from which she was crocheting and exiting the living room.

"What?" Remus asked as Sirius continued to stare at him.

Sirius shook his head sadly and also left, leaving Remus alone feeling very guilty, sad and angry.

The next day, everyone's good mood was brought to a screeching halt. The morning started well enough, Molly and Sirius seemed to have forgiven Remus for not going and confessing his love for Tonks. But it was towards the evening that things started to go downhill when Remus, Molly and Sirius found out that Fudge and Umbridge had found out about Dumbledore's Army; a secret defense group that Harry and a bunch of classmates had formed to teach themselves proper defense against the dark arts techniques. Molly had banned her children from joining (which could only mean that they had). Dumbledore had protected Harry from being expelled and possibly sent to Azkaban by taking the blame for the group. Fudge had tried to arrest Dumbledore, but he had of course slipped through Fudge's fingers.

"I can't believe this." Molly said breathlessly.

Remus, Molly, Sirius, Tonks, Moody and Arthur were all in the kitchen listening to Kingsley Shacklebolt informing them what had happened, as he had been there.

"So does anyone know where Dumbledore has gone?" Remus asked.

Kingsley shook his head. "The Ministry hasn't got the faintest idea."

Tonks scoffed (she was back to bubblegum pink). "Like the Ministry could ever catch Dumbledore. He's one of if not the greatest wizard of modern times."

"Why thank you Miss Tonks, I do say you made me blush." Came a soft, gentle voice. It was Dumbledore.

Everyone was in shock.

Dumbledore chuckled at everyone's shocked faces. "I take it you've heard the news."

"Yes, Kingsley's just been telling us. What happened?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore smiled. "I think it's safe to say that I am now a wanted man."

Molly put her hand over her heart and Arthur comforted her, Moody's blue eye swirled madly, Tonks looked angry and Kingsley and Sirius looked stunned. Remus couldn't help but admire the man that was standing before them.

"I don't have much time so I'll make his quick." He said. "I have to lay low for a bit but don't worry, if any of you need to contact me, I'll know." He had that familiar twinkle in his eye.

Everyone was still silent.

"I just ask one favor of you all. Please watch out for Harry, he's in more danger than anyone can realize." And with that he disappeared, a smile on his face.

It felt like a while before anyone spoke again.

"Brilliant that man is. Just brilliant." Arthur said in awe.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Many hours later, Remus was laying in bed, his mind swirling over the events that had just occurred in the past 48 hours. Harry had come out and told the world what he saw when Voldemort had returned, the Ministry had found out about the D.A. and Dumbledore was now wanted. The whole world seemed to be upside down. When was all this sadness and pain going to go away? Somehow, through everything else that was in his mind, Remus conjured up a picture of Tonks. He sighed. Though he could never be with her, he would make sure to protect her. Not only from himself, but also from everything. He wasn't about to let the woman he loved die, he would die himself before he would allow anything to happen to her.

"I'll protect her." He whispered to himself before turning around and falling asleep.

The next day Remus nearly had a heart attack as Harry's head appeared in the fireplace at Headquarters. He had been hunched over, writing a report for the Order when Harry's voice had rung out through the room.

"Sirius?"

Remus looked around and spotted Harry's head. "Harry! What are you – what's happened, is everything all right?" He said after he had recovered from his shock.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "I just wondered – I mean, I just fancied a – a chat with Sirius."

"I'll call him." Remus said relieved, getting to his feet and exiting the room, feeling very confused. "He went upstairs to look for Kreacher, he seems to be hiding in the attic again…"

Remus went up the stairs and bumped into Sirius.

"Oh Sirius, I'm glad I found you. Harry, he's – well he's in the fireplace. He fancies a chat with you." Remus said.

Sirius' eyes lit up. He looked excited and happy that his godson wanted a chat with him. Then his face went from excited and happy to worried. "Did he say what about?" Sirius asked as the two friends descended the stairs.

"No, he just said he fancied a chat with you." Remus replied.

A second later, Sirius and Remus were kneeling into the fireplace, talking to Harry.

"What is it?" Sirius asked urgently as he swept the dark hair out of his eyes. "Are you all right? Do you need help?"

"No," said Harry, "it's nothing like that…I just wanted to talk…about my Dad…"

Remus gave Sirius and surprised look, which he returned. Why did Harry want to talk about James all of a sudden? This was all very unusual. Harry then told them all about a scene he had seen in Snape's Pensieve where James had attacked Snape for no reason when he was 15. Neither Sirius nor Remus spoke for a moment.

"I wouldn't like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen-" Remus said.

"I'm fifteen!" Harry said heatedly.

"Look, Harry," Sirius said placatingly. "James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can't you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be – he was popular, he was good at Quiddtich, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just the little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James – whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry – always hated the Dark Arts."

Remus was suddenly flooded with memories of The Marauders playing pranks on Snape; well, mostly James and Sirius.

"Yeah," Harry said, "but he just attacked Snape for no good reason, just because – well, just because you said you were bored." He said, sounding slightly apologetic.

"I'm not proud of it." Sirius said quickly.

Remus looked sideways at his friend and found this whole topic somewhat betraying James' memory but he could understand where Harry was coming from. "Look, Harry, what you've got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did – everyone thought they were the height of cool – if they sometimes got a bit carried away – " Remus remembered a particular incident where James and Sirius had jinxed Snape into a woman.

"If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean," Said Sirius. Remus smiled.

"He kept messing up his hair." Harry said in a kind of pained voice.

This caused Remus and Sirius to laugh.

"I'd forgotten he used to do that." Sirius said fondly.

"Was he playing with the Snitch?" Remus asked eagerly, remembering James had always stolen the Snitch after a victorious Quidditch match to show off his Seeker skills.

"Yeah." Harry said. "Well…I thought he was a bit of an idiot."

"Of course he was a bit of an idiot!" Sirius said bracingly. "We were all idiots! Well – not Moony so much," He said fairly, looking at Remus who shook his head.

"Did I ever tell you to lay off Sanpe?" He asked. "Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?" He suddenly felt angry and ashamed.

"Yeah, well," Sirius, said, "you made us feels ashamed of ourselves sometimes…that was something…"

"And," Harry said doggedly. "He kept looking over at the girls by lake, hoping they were watching him!"

"Oh, well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around," Sirius said shrugging. "He couldn't stop himself showing off whenever he got near her."

Remus chuckled to himself as he thought of all the times James had tried to gain Lily's affection and failing miserably each time until he had cooled off.

"How come she married him?" Harry asked miserably. "She hated him!"

Remus felt extremely sorry for Harry; not being able to ask his own parents these questions.

"Nah, she didn't." Sirius said.

"She started going out with him in seventh year." Remus said.

"Once James had deflated his head a bit."

"And stopped hexing people for just for the fun of it." Remus added.

"Even Snape?" Harry asked.

"Well," Remus said slowly. "Snape was a special case, I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you?" He hoped Harry would understand that his father had been a great wizard and wonderful man and thought Harry of all people should know about people being mortal enemies seeing as he and Draco Malfoy weren't exactly best friends.

"And my mum was okay with that?"

"She didn't know too much about it, to tell you the truth." Sirius said. "I mean, James didn't take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?" He frowned at Harry, who was still looking like he was unconvinced. "Look," he said, "your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person. A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it."

"Yeah, okay." Harry said heavily. "I just never thought I'd feel sorry for Snape."

"Now you mention it," Remus said, furrowing his eyebrows. "How did Snape react when he found you'd seen all this?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"He told me he'd never teach me Occlumency again." Harry replied. "Like that's a big disappoint-"

"He WHAT?" Sirius shouted, causing Harry to jump and inhale a mouthful of ashes and Remus to jump and almost lose his balance on his knees.

"Are you serious Harry?" Remus asked quickly after he had regained his balance. "He's stopped giving you lessons?" How could Snape stop giving Harry these lessons? He knew how important and vital it was that Harry learn to shut his mind.

"Yeah," Said Harry, sounding surprised. "But it's okay, I don't care, it's a bit of a relief to tell you the-"

"I'm coming there to have a word with Snape!" Sirius said forcefully and making to stand up.

"If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!" Remus said firmly, pulling Sirius back down. "But Harry, first of all, you're to go back to Snape and tell him that on no account is he to stop giving you lessons – when Dumbledore hears –"

"I can't tell him that, he'd kill me!" Harry said, clearly outraged at Remus' orders. "You didn't see him when we got out of the Pensieve-"

"Harry, there is nothing so important as you learning Occlumency!" Remus said surprising even himself at how stern he sounded. "Do you understand me? Nothing!"

"Okay, okay," Harry said. "I'll…I'll try and say something to him…But it won't be…" Harry didn't finish his sentence. His green eyes were a bit wide. "Is that Kreacher coming downstairs?" He asked.

"No," Said Sirius, glancing behind him. "It must be somebody on your end…"

Harry looked terrified. "I better go!" And with that his head disappeared quickly from the fire, leaving Remus and Sirius very concerned and worried.

A/N: Hope that wasn't too long for ya! You guys kept agreeing that my chapters were a wee bit too short so I hope this makes up for it and I hope I didn't bore you with the fireplace scene with Harry, but since this is from Remus' point of view, I had to put it in there. Please review and tell me what you thought! Please?


	18. Rain and Sunshine

Disclaimer: Do I own Harry Potter? No. Do I own any rights to it? No. Do I look like J.K. Rowling, well, I did with my blonde hair but with my dark hair, no.

A/N: Here it is, Chapter 18! Yay! Sorry I haven't updated as often as I used to but it's kind of hard what with work and all so I hope you all won't kill me if I go a day or two without updating (don't worry the longest I would go without updating would be 2 days). And thanks again for all your reviews, I appreciate them all and to Loonie Potter:I didn't know James was a Chaser, I thought he was a Seeker, whoops! My bad. And my tattoo is of the Kerplunk! flower on my lower back. Thanx for asking! Now, on with the chapter!

Remus was lost in thought after the chat he and Sirius had had with Harry. He kept remembering his school days with the Marauders and how happy he had been; those had easily been the most happiest and carefree days of his life. Remus also was concerned about Harry's view on James. He hoped that Harry hadn't seen his father as a bully, 'cause he wasn't. James was a good man and though he did hex people and have a larger than normal sized ego, that didn't make him a bad person; he had been a teenager after all. Remus didn't know why Harry's negative view on his father bugged him, but it did and it wasn't until he voiced these concerns to Sirius that he learned that he was not the only one bothered.

"I know what you mean." Sirius was to be heard saying to Remus one stormy, afternoon.

"You do?" Remus asked, he thought he had been the only one who had been a little disturbed by Harry's questions.

"Of course I do! I can't believe Harry would even question his father's morals or personality." Sirius said worriedly.

Remus sighed. "He certainly did seem a little upset at what he saw in the Pensieve; speaking of which, I'm going to head to Hogwarts today and have a discussion with Snape."

"Good! I can't believe that ignorant, foul little prat! To stop giving Harry those lessons is more than just wrong…it's…. barbaric! Snevillus knows how important it is for Harry to learn to close his mind and you'd think that he would put a little childhood grudge aside for once." Sirius said bitterly.

Remus agreed. "I know but you have to see it from his side too, Sirius, I mean we were all a little mean to him."

"I can't believe you're standing up for him!" Sirius said, outraged.

"Calm down, I'm not standing up for him, I'm just saying, I can understand where he's coming from. But I do think it's wrong and childish to stop giving Harry those lessons." Remus said, hoping this would calm Sirius down. It seemed to work.

"Well, I don't care if James and I were a little mean to Snevillus. It gives him no right to treat Harry the way he does, especially since Harry hasn't done anything to him!"

"I agree Sirius but just let me talk to him. Maybe I can make him see reason." Remus said. "I best be off now." He said, checking his watch. "I'll tell you how it went."

And with that, Remus apparated out of Headquarters and right outside Hogwarts grounds. Remus was soaked within five seconds of appearing, it was raining so hard. He normally would have apparated to Hogsmeade and walked but not in this kind of weather. Remus suddenly realized he faced a small problem: Umbridge. She hated anyone or anything that wasn't human and she knew Remus was a registered werewolf. There was no way in Hades she was going to let him speak to Snape, least not without asking tons of questions. As he stood there, getting more soaking wet by the minute, his problem was solved. Hagrid just so happened to be passing the gates.

"'Ello Lupin, what are you doin' out here in the rain?" He asked. He had his heavy brown moleskin coat on and his enormous black beard and hair were wet and stuck to his face.

"Hagrid, I'm glad you're here, I need to have a chat with Snape. Is he here?" Remus asked, relieved at Hagrid's appearance.

"Course he is. 'Ere, I'll let you in." Hagrid replied as he thrust open the gates and allowed Remus entry.

"Thank you Hagrid." Remus replied.

"No problem. Snape should be in 'is office." He replied.

Remus thanked Hagrid and bade him good-bye as he set off for the castle. It was a bit odd to be setting foot in the castle again. The last time Remus had been here was about two years ago, when he had been a teacher. He entered the Oak front doors and made his way down to Snape's office. He didn't meet one person on the way either, as he took the secret passageways that only the Marauders would know. He reached Snape's door and knocked.

"Enter." Came a voice from the other side.

Remus entered. Snape's office wasn't really pleasant to be in. It was covered with shelves of objects suspended in liquid in jars; in fact, everything in his office reminded Remus of the Dark Arts. Snape's lip curled very unpleasantly as he laid eyes on Remus. Remus appeared cheerful, as he always did around Snape.

"What do you want?" He asked nastily. "The full moons not for several weeks." Snape looked Remus up and down at this last comment, as if mocking him for his condition and appearance.

"Oh, I'm not here about the potion." Remus replied cheerfully, pretending he hadn't noticed Snape's ugly gaze. He sat at a chair that was in front of Snape's desk. "I actually came here to talk about Harry."

Snape's eyes glittered dangerously but he said nothing and went back to the roll of parchment he had been writing on before Remus had come in; it looked like he was grading reports.

Remus went on when Snape said nothing. "I heard that you stopped giving him Occulmency lessons." Snape continued to write. "You and I both know that it is vital for Harry to learn to shut his mind." Snape still said nothing. "As you are a superb Occlumens, I know Harry could learn a great deal from you." Remus hoped that by flattering Snape, he could persuade him to reconsider his lessons with Harry.

Snape looked up from his grading and bore his cold, black eyes into Remus' warm, blue ones. "I doubt Potter could learn much from Merlin himself." He said icily.

"Now Severus, don't you think you're being a little unfair? I mean, Harry hasn't ever done anything to you. Don't you think you're being a little –"

"Unfair?" Snape repeated. "You think I'm being unfair to Potter, Lupin? He hasn't done anything to me, you say? How about stealing ingredients from my cabinets, twice. How about mouthing off to me in class? How about breaking every school rule and getting away with it…much like his father."

"That's enough Severus!" Remus said firmly, giving Snape the most hateful look he could muster.

"What's the matter, Lupin? Don't want to remember dear James as he was? An arrogant, egotistical prat? Well, let me tell you something, James wasn't the valiant hero as you all portray him to be, he's not the great man you all tell Potter he is. He was nothing more than a coward. A coward who only picked on persons weaker than him and only when he had 3 friends there to back him up."

Snape would have gone on, but Remus had heard enough. "I said that's enough Severus!" He got up from his chair, as did Snape, each one penetrating the other with a deathly stare. "Now I'm sorry for what we all did to you at school, I really am! But that was over twenty years ago and it's not right for you to treat Harry like dirt just because his father bullied you in school! And I think it's really selfish and immature of you to stop giving Harry Occlumency lessons just because he saw a harmless memory that happened a long time ago."

"Harmless?" Snape said quietly, too quietly. "I wouldn't call being strung upside down in mid-air in front of half the school with your knickers showing harmless."

"Oh, get over it Severus!" Remus said. He was sick and tired of Snape's whining over something that happened when they were teenagers. Remus had felt guilty and sorry at first but now he just didn't care. "I would think maybe you, of all people, could show a little bit of compassion. But I guess I was wrong." He gave Snape one last seething look before marching out of his office and back into the wind and rain.

Remus couldn't remember ever being so mad. He was so mad, he wasn't even paying attention to where his feet were taking him. He snapped back to reality when he nearly walked into a wall. He stopped and looked around and noticed he had taken himself to Hogsmeade and the wall he had nearly bumped into belonged to The Three Broomsticks. Why the bloody hell not? He could use a drink after what had just happened and after everything that had happened. He walked in and welcomed the warmth. There were lots of people in here today. Remus searched for an empty table and notice in the corner, a girl. She was very pretty and had chocolate brown hair that went down to her shoulders. Remus knew that girl, it had to be Tonks.

She looked sad, like she had been crying. Her usually bright, sparkling eyes were red and puffy and she was drinking from a glass that looked like it was filled with firewhiskey. Remus hesitated. Should he go over there? What if she was crying over him? But what if something bad had just happened to her? He couldn't just let her drink alone and cry. He knew all too well what it was like to be depressed, lonely and sad. He went over to her table, knowing he'd probably regret it later but just couldn't resist her sad, lonely look.

"Hey Tonks." He said softly.

She jumped a little. "Oh, W-Wotcher Remus." She sniffed.

"Mind if I sit down?" He asked her gently. She looked so sad, why couldn't he hold her in his arms and assure her everything would be all right?

"S-Sure." She said, looking back down at her glass.

He sat down and looked at her sympathetically. "Is anything wrong?" He asked unnecessarily.

"Oh Remus, I had the worst day imaginable!" She said, fresh tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"You want to tell me about it?" He asked, conjuring up a tissue from somewhere. He reached over and dabbed her eyes with it.

She revealed a little smile. After she had calmed down a bit and caught her breath, she vented to Remus. "It was so awful! First, I was 15 minutes late to work today because I woke up late, I had guard duty last night."

"I thought you were going to ask Dumbledore to take you off nights?" Remus asked.

"He was but Moody got sick all of a sudden and there was no one to take his shift." She replied.

"I would have taken it."

Tonks looked immensely uncomfortable. She looked down at her glass again and avoided Remus' eyes. "I-I didn't want to bug you." She said softly.

Remus was bewildered. "You've never bugged me." He said.

She looked up. "I don't?" She asked disbelievingly.

"No, of course not." He said lightly.

She suddenly smiled.

"So, tell me what happened at work?" He asked, smiling at her.

"Well, my boss got on my back and yelled at me…in front of the entire office! He said I was acting very immaturely and if I wanted to keep my job, I'd have to straighten up my act." She looked sad again, as if she was going to cry. "Then later that day, when I was walking back to my office, I tripped and fell head first into Amelia Bones. She was nice about it but my boss…." She trailed off and started tearing up again.

"I'm sorry about that Tonks." Remus said comfortingly.

"That's not the worst part." She said through flowing tears now. "I've been written up!" She sobbed uncontrollably now.

Remus had no clue what being written up actually meant, but he had a clue that it wasn't something good. He couldn't stand to see poor Tonks like this, he had to do something. She looked so sad. Before he could argue with himself, he got up from his seat and sat next to Tonks and held her in his arms. She cried into his shoulder and Remus just sat there and held her, he never wanted it to stop. He stroked her hair gently and whispered that everything was going to be okay. Remus wasn't too sure how long he had sat there, holding Tonks until she stopped crying and lifted her head.

"Thank you Remus." She choked. Her eyes were horribly red, her cheeks matched and her make-up was running slightly but Remus thought she still looked ever so beautiful.

"It's no problem." He said and smiled.

She smiled back and wiped her eyes. "You must think I'm acting like a child." She said.

"Of course I don't." He said. There was nothing childish about crying and letting it all out after a hard day, he knew that better than anyone.

She looked up and smiled. "How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?"

Remus didn't really know what to say to this, he wasn't even sure if it was an actual question or just a rhetorical one. "Call it a gift." He said jokingly.

She laughed and her hair slowly turned from chocolaty brown to bright, bubblegum pink and to her usual punky hairstyle.

"Now that suits you much better." Remus commented.

She smiled. "So, what are you doing here anyways Remus? I doubt you're on a mission for the Order." She said quietly.

"Oh, well I had some business up at the school."

"Really? What kind?" She asked interestingly, her usual personality starting to come out.

"Do you always ask this many questions?" He asked teasingly.

She blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"I was only kidding, Tonks." He reassured her. "I actually had to go up and have a talk with Severus."

"Snape? Why on earth would you need to talk to that slimy git for?" She asked incredousley.

Remus chuckled at Tonks' obvious outrage. "I actually had to talk to him about Harry." So Remus told Tonks all about his argument with Snape while Tonks listened and interrupted only a few times.

"I can't believe him! Honestly!" She said shaking her head.

"I know." Remus said sighing. "But I don't know what else I can do. Snape's obviously made up his mind and he simply refuses to teach Harry Occlumency again." Remus took a gulp of his firewhiskey that Madam Rosmerta had brought him while he was telling Tonks his story.

"Maybe I can get Moody to transfigure Snape into a ferret, like he did with Lucius' boy." Tonks said.

Remus laughed. "Now I'd pay galleons to see that." He said, taking another sip of his drink.

Tonks laughed too. "So would I."

The two talked and laughed for hours. Neither had talked with one another like this for a while. Remus completely forgot about the war, his bad day, his undying love for Tonks and the pain he felt that he couldn't be with her. He forgot everything entirely and apparently, so had Tonks for she was laughing and joking along with him.

"Oh Remus, you've really cheered me up." She said cheerfully as she polished off her second glass of firewhiskey.

"I'm glad, you've cheered me up too." He replied, finishing his glass as well.

She smiled at him and her eyes had that familiar sparkle in them that always made Remus' heart skip a beat; which it did. He became a bit sad all of a sudden and wished more than anything that he could hold the young witch in front of him and tell her that he loved her and always would.

"Well," Tonks said, she sounded a bit uncomfortable, "I'd best be off. I still have work tomorrow after all." She got up from the table and avoided Remus' eyes.

"Tonks, wait." Remus said before she could walk away. She looked at him. "Uh…" He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't even know why he had stopped her from leaving. "Can I…walk you home?" He suggested. He knew he shouldn't have made this suggestion. For one, it might give Tonks the wrong idea, that she might possibly have a chance at getting Remus to be with her.

"Okay." She said with a smile.

Remus wanted to kick himself. Why had he suggested that he walk her home? Why did he do this to her and to himself? He smiled back, not wanting Tonks to know that he regretted his decision. They walked out of the Three Broomsticks. The sky was still a dark, gray but Remus could tell that it was early evening. The rain had subsided but the streets were covered in small puddles and the dirt was muddy and gloopy and there was a slight chill in the air. Tonks led the way down the street; Remus tagging along beside her.

"Where do you live anyway?" He asked. He had only been to Tonks' house once before and that was months ago but he couldn't remember exactly where it had been. In fact, he had apparated directly inside so he didn't really have a clue as to where she lived.

"Oh, I live in London, in a Muggle flat." She informed him. "But you already know that." She added, smiling at him slyly.

Remus blushed a little and was slightly surprised that Tonks chose to live in Muggle housing. She seemed to have guess what he was thinking for she went on.

"I like Muggle housing. Magic folks don't give Muggles enough credit, they can design some pretty amazing flats." She said brightly.

Remus followed Tonks to the edge of Hogsmeade where she stopped them.

"I think we can apparate here." She said. "Do you need to hold on to my arm or can you remember my address?" She asked.

"Er-"

"I'll take that as a no." She laughed as she hooked her arm around Remus' and held on to it tight.

A second later, just when Remus thought he wouldn't be able to take a much needed breath, they appeared in Tonks' living room, where Remus had appeared himself months ago. It still looked the same.

"Well…thanks for escorting me home." She said, releasing Remus' arm. Remus was slightly reluctant to let her arm go but let it go nonetheless.

"No problem." Remus said. He felt kind of awkward. What was he supposed to do now? Apparate to Headquarters? Stay and talk with her some more? Remus had never been so confused in his life.

"Would you like some tea or some coffee or something?" She asked hopefully.

"Uh…" He knew he should go, just tell her that he was extremely tired and needed some rest but he wanted to stay. Why couldn't he stay? It was just tea…there was nothing wrong with friends chatting over a cup of tea, right? What the hell. He was going to stay. "Tea would be lovely." He said.

Tonks looked like she could burst with happiness as she smiled and bounded into the kitchen, running into the corner of a small table on the way. She was back in a few seconds.

"Here, have a seat while the water boils." She said, motioning towards the black couch.

Remus did as he was told and Tonks took a seat next to him. They sat in silence for a moment.

"This is really a nice place you got here." He commented, looking around.

"Oh, thanks. Yea, it's not much but it's home." She said, smiling at Remus.

Remus turned his head back towards Tonks to see that she was once again, mere inches away from him. He gulped.

"You know, I have a guest bedroom if you wanted to stay tonight so you wouldn't have to walk in the cold rain." She said, peering into his eyes.

Remus felt his stomach drop down to his knees and was sure his heart had stopped beating. He wanted nothing more than to take Tonks up on her offer, but he couldn't. "I can just apparate directly to Headquarters." He said, trying to sound casual and friendly.

Thankfully the whistling of the teakettle interrupted them and Tonks gave Remus one last look before retreating to the kitchen to take it off the burner. Remus took a very deep breath. He had to get out of here before he did something that he would regret. He got up and was planning on apparating out of Tonks' living room when she reappeared with two cups of tea.

"Where are you going?" She asked, sounding a little hurt.

"Uh, I'm sorry Tonks but I have to get going. I..uh" He didn't know what to say. He decided on the truth…well, a little bit of it. "Look Tonks, you're young and beautiful and you're really a great person, you really are. But…I can't, I mean you and me we just…can't."

Tonks stared at Remus with a blank expression on her face.

"I'm sorry Tonks but I…I really have to go." He said and with that he walked out her door, leaving Tonks standing there with the two cups of tea with a confused and hurt look on her face.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I ended it rather abruptly because I personally think Remus would have definately tried to get out of there asap, after Tonks' suggestion that he stay the night. But that's just me. Anyway, please review! I'm glad to know that you all think I'm staying true to the characters and their personalities, that was/is my main goal.


	19. Dueling To The Death

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I wasn't J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Here it is, Chapter 19. This chapter is packed with action and I'm not that great at writing action so just bear with me. And as always thank you sooo much for reviewing. I luv you all. You guys make my day when you review my story. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Remus felt awful the next few days. He couldn't get the hurt look Tonks had given him out of his mind. He knew what he did was a little mean but he had to get out of there. Another minute with her and he would have given in completely. Tonks had apparently not told Sirius or even Molly what had happened for neither of them badgered him about it. But Remus' guilt and troubles were driven far from his mind when he and Sirius were sitting at the kitchen table, talking. A piece of parchment appeared with the words:

Sirius – 

_If you are at Headquarters, send this back immediately_

Professor Snape 

"What the bloody hell?" Sirius said as he read the parchment and handed it over to Remus.

Remus couldn't make heads or tails of it. He had no clue as to why Snape would be sending Sirius letters all of a sudden. "I guess you should do as it says and reply." He said to Sirius.

"I suppose." Sirius mumbled.

He took the quill Remus gave to him and jotted down:

Snape – 

_I am fine. Why do you ask?_

Sirius 

After Sirius had finished writing, the parchment disappeared, no doubt to Snape.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"I haven't the faintest idea." Remus said.

"You don't suppose something's wrong, do you?" Sirius asked, worry starting to etch his face.

"I'm sure everyone, including Harry, is fine. If it was an emergency, I'm sure Snape would have contacted Dumbledore." Remus said, trying to reassure his friend.

"I suppose you're right." He said.

A moment later, the parchment appeared once again. This time it had written:

_No reason. Just never mind. There is no need to send this back._

Professor Snape 

"Look at the way he signs. 'Professor' Snape. What a git." Sirius grumbled as he crumbled up the piece of parchment and tossed it over his shoulder.

"I wonder why he wanted to know why you were at Headquarters?" Remus asked. All this seemed very fishy. Why would Snape even care where Sirius was?

"I don't know. Where else would I be besides here?" Sirius said darkly.

"So…how's Buckbeak doing?" Remus asked, hoping to change the subject so Sirius wouldn't get depressed.

"He's doing fine." Sirius said.

Kreacher had injured Buckbeak. The elf had apparently broken the hippogriff's wing but it was nothing Sirius couldn't fix. He didn't get an 'Outstanding' in Care of Magical Creatures for nothing.

"Did you ever find out if Kreacher injured him?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, but I know that little filth did it. I really wish I didn't have to keep him."

Remus was about to reply but the arrival of Kingsley, Moody and Tonks interrupted him. They looked like they had all been in a bit of a hurry for they were all gasping for air.

"Is-Sir-Sirius all-all right?" Tonks asked breathlessly.

"Of course I am! I'm right here! Why wouldn't I be?" Sirius said aloud, standing up from the table and giving everyone a very curious and puzzled expression, which Remus shared.

"We got a note from Severus asking if Sirius was still here. We figured something might be wrong." Kingsley informed them.

Remus looked to Sirius who had a very worried and puzzled look on his face. Before anyone could explain any further, Snape appeared.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked nastily.

Snape ignored him. "I think something's wrong. Potter hasn't returned from the forest with Granger or Umbridge. I think he went to the Department of Mysteries." Snape said.

"What!" Sirius said.

"What do you mean Severus?" Remus asked. He had no idea why Harry would even be going into the forest in the first place, let alone with Umbridge.

"He said he had a vision of you," he looked at Sirius. "and that you were being held hostage by the Dark Lord in the Department of Mysteries. I think he somehow got rid of Umbridge and is now on his way, with Granger, to the Ministry to go and rescue you." Snape said hurriedly. He looked extremely anxious.

"We have to stop him!" Kingsley said unnecessarily.

"No doubt it's a trick of Voldemort's to try and lure Harry in there to try and steal the prophecy." Moody said, his blue eye was turning every which way in its socket.

Snape then went into a story about Harry being caught in Umbridge's office when he was trying to contact Sirius.

"I must have been in the attic, tending to Buckbeak." Sirius said softly. Remus knew he would blame himself if anything happened to Harry.

Snape then told everyone about how Harry had told him what he had seen and that's why he had sent everyone the note, wanting to know Sirius' whereabouts.

"And I saw them leave towards the forest and they haven't been back so I came here to alert the Order." He finished.

"Well, why are we sitting here, then? Let's get to Harry." Tonks said impatiently.

Everyone agreed and got ready to leave, including Sirius.

"I don't think-" Remus started to say.

"I'm not going to sit here while my godson is about to be murdered by Voldemort!" Sirius snapped.

Remus couldn't argue with him. If he was in Sirius' place he would have done the same thing.

"I think someone should be here to inform Dumbledore." Snape said, eyeing Sirius hatefully.

"He's right Sirius. Please stay here." Tonks pleaded.

Sirius looked at everyone and decided he wasn't going to win. "Fine." He said and he sat down.

Remus felt immensely sorry for his friend but he didn't have time to console him, he had to get Harry.

"I'm going back to the school to see if I can get everything under control." Snape said. And without a single word, he disappeared.

"Good, he wasn't of much help anyway." Tonks said. Remus saw Sirius give her a smile.

Soon Remus, Moody, Kingsley and Tonks were on their way to the Ministry. When they arrived, no one was around. The only sounds were coming from the water fountain.

"Stay close. Remember, constant vigilance." Moody muttered.

Not even Tonks rolled her eyes at this comment. They all knew how dangerous and real the situation was and Remus had a morbid, sick feeling that not everyone would be leaving here. They crept to the lift and pushed the button to the last floor. When the cool female voice finally told them they were at the Department of Mysteries, another lift descended down. Everyone looked to it, wands at the ready. When the doors opened, everyone received a shock as Sirius emerged from it.

"Sirius! What are you doing here?" Remus asked. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Tonks and Moody started opening their mouths but Sirius cut them off. "Before you all start lecturing me…I couldn't sit still while Harry is in danger. I gave Kreacher orders to inform Dumbledore of everything then I set off for here. I don't care if the Minister himself sees me, if I can save Harry, it'll be worth it."

Remus couldn't argue with him. He knew Sirius couldn't be locked up, that's just not the type of person he was. Sirius liked to be in the thick of things, Remus knew that Sirius wouldn't love anything more than to fight some Death Eaters and save his godson. It struck Remus suddenly of how much Sirius and James were alike.

"Ok, just keep silent. Remember, constant vigilance." Moody said.

The Order members crept down the stairs and into the stone chamber that was lined with torches in brackets. When they finally reached the door that was normally locked, they found that it was open.

"Constant vigilance." Moody whispered as he held his wand at the ready; as did everyone else.

He pushed the door open. They saw nothing but they heard yells and screams and knew a battle had already begun. Sirius led the way as he bolted into an open door, then threw another one. Remus didn't have time to marvel at the spectacular rooms, his mind was set on rescuing Harry and Hermione. Sirius seemed to know exactly where he was going as he was getting further and further ahead of the other Order members, that is except for Remus. Being a werewolf had it's advantages, he could smell Harry and Hermione but he smelled a lot more than just those two children, there was about 2 or 3 more. How many students did Harry bring? Finally, they reached a door and everyone burst through it. Remus' eyes were met with a horrific scene. A group of Death Eaters (one looked like Lucius Malfoy and the other Bellatrix Lestrange) were cornering Harry and Neville. Harry was clutching the prophecy and it looked like he was actually going to give it to them. Neville looked awful. He had a bloody nose, which was probably broken and he was sprawled on the floor. The room itself had a sunken floor and was surrounded by benches and stairs that rose up to the other doors that were there.

Just as Malfoy turned to send a spell their way, Tonks demonstrated her Auror skills by sending a stunning spell before Malfoy had even uttered his spell. It missed Malfoy by mere centimeters but the distraction had given Harry time to dive out of the way as the Order members prepared to duel with the Death Eaters. The Order members started sending out spells left and right (as did the Death Eaters) as they descended to the sunken floor. Remus battled a Death Eater who still had his mask on.

"STUPEFY!" Remus yelled as the Death Eater sent a spell towards him. The spell hit and Remus narrowly avoided the Death Eater's spell as another one sent a spell towards him.

"_Stupefy!_" Remus yelled again but this Death Eater was too quick as he lunged out of the way.

"_Avada-"_ He started to say but Remus, who knew what the Death Eater was about to say before he had even said it sent a powerful spell that stunned him. He then conjured up some invisible ropes to hold the Death Eater there while he went to duel more of them. But something distracted him.

Remus looked up in time to see several things happening at once. Moody was lying on his side, bleeding from his head and his magical eye was missing. Sirius, who had been dueling with a Death Eater magnificently, was now forcing Harry's head down as a stunning spell nearly hit them. Then Remus saw the one thing that made him furious and sad at the same time. Tonks, who had been battling with Bellatrix, was falling down the stairs, her body limp. Bellatrix had obviously knocked Tonks unconscious. She hit the floor with a sickening thud but Remus didn't have time to go to her as a Death Eater lunged at him. Remus petrified him. Remus turned just in time to see Malfoy being lunged onto the dais that Sirius and Bellatrix were now dueling on. He saw Malfoy raise his wand and point it at Harry and Neville but Remus stepped between them.

"Harry, round up the others and GO!" He ordered as he blocked Malfoy's spell with ease. "_Stupefy!_" He yelled but Malfoy had been too quick as he dodged it but Remus didn't have time to concentrate on Malfoy as another Death Eater sent a jet of red light towards Remus.

He ducked as he petrified the Death Eater.

"DUBBLEDORE!" Remus heard Neville cry through his broken nose.

Did he mean Dumbledore? Remus looked up and saw Dumbledore standing there, looking very furious. He attacked a Death Eater who was trying to scramble away and now all the Death Eaters and Order members were aware of Dumbledore's presence. All dueling ceased immediately, that is except for Sirius and Bellatrix.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius yelled as he ducked a jet of red light Bellatrix had sent.

As soon as the sentence was out of his mouth, Bellatrix hit Sirius square in the chest with a spell. Sirius' eyes were wide with shock. It seemed to be happening in very slow motion, slower than when Tonks fell, Sirius' body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backward through the ragged veil that had been hanging from the arch. Remus would never forget the look of mingled fear and surprise his best friend had on his face as he disappeared, forever, through the veil. Remus didn't have time to cry as he held Harry back. Harry had been running towards the veil, no doubt, thinking Sirius would emerge through the other side, but Remus knew better.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry –"

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late, Harry –" Every word caused Remus pain.

"We can still reach him –"

"There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…He's gone."

"He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled.

Remus knew Harry didn't want to believe it. He knew Harry thought that if he could just pull back the veil, Sirius would be there with his trademark smirk and a clever, witty retort of some kind, but Remus knew that he would never see that familiar smirk ever again. His best friend, his only one left, was gone…gone forever.

"SIRIUS!" Harry bellowed. "SIRIUS!"

"He can't come back, Harry." Remus said, fighting the tears that were already starting to emerge. "He can't come back, because he's d –"

"HE – IS – NOT – DEAD!" Harry roared. "SIRIUS!"

There was dueling again but Remus hardly noticed as he held Harry back, who was putting up quite a struggle. He dragged Harry away from the dais, Harry's eyes never leaving the archway. Remus saw that Dumbledore had most of the Death Eaters rounded up and Moody had crawled forward and was trying to revive Tonks and Kingsley was now finishing Sirius' duel with Bellatrix.

"Harry?" Neville had slid down the stone benches one by one to the place where Remus and Harry now stood. Harry had subsided his attempts to fight Remus but Remus still kept a cautious grip on him. "Harry…I'b really sorry…" Neville said. His legs were dancing uncontrollably where he must have got hit with the Tarantallegra spell. "Was dat man – was Sirius Black a – a friend of yours?" He asked.

Harry nodded.

"Here," Remus said quietly as he pointed his wand at Neville's legs. "_Finite_." Neville's legs fell back to the floor and were still. Remus felt very sick. "Lets' – let's find the others. Where are they all, Neville?" Remus fought the urge to go and throw up. He had to stay focused. There were still children around here and Remus knew Sirius wouldn't want Remus to leave Harry unattended.

"Dey're all back dere." Neville said. "A brain addacked Ron bud I dink he's all righd – and Herbione's unconscious, bud we could feel a bulse –"

There was a loud bang and a yell from behind the dais. Remus saw Kingsley yelling in pain as he hit the ground and Bellatrix turning and running as Dumbledore whipped around. He aimed a spell at her but she deflected it. She was halfway up the steps now.

"Harry – no!" Remus yelled but Harry had already tore away from Remus' grip, which had been lightened.

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "SHE KILLED HIM – I'LL KILL HER!" And off he went through the door, after Bellatrix.

Remus had been a little frightened at Harry's words. Harry couldn't actually kill somebody, evil or not…could he? He looked angry and hateful and Remus wondered if Sirius' death hadn't somehow caused Harry to crack. Although, Remus couldn't blame him, he wanted Bellatrix dead too.

"Where dobs he tink he'bs going?" Neville asked.

But Remus didn't have time to answer as Dumbledore rushed out of the room after Harry. "Keep them tied up and go rescue the others!" He ordered Remus.

"Here Neville." Remus said as he conjured up a handkerchief and gave it to Neville.

"Tanks." He said as he rubbed the dry and fresh blood away from his face.

"She's alive." Remus heard Moody say.

Remus turned and saw that Moody was referring to Tonks. Remus was somewhat relived but he couldn't get the look of fear and surprise on Sirius' face as he disappeared through the veil. Why? Why did Sirius have to come? And what about Tonks? How was she going to react when they told her that Sirius was dead? Would she blame Remus? He turned back to Neville, forcing these thoughts away for the moment.

"Where are the others Neville?" He asked gently.

"Here, I'll show you." He replied.

He led Remus up the stone benches and into a room that had a large tank that had murky, green water. What looked like brains were scattered everywhere in the room. Their tentacles began to try and wrap up Remus and Neville.

"_Stupefy!_" Remus said and the brains were eerily still.

Remus bent down over Hermione and checked to see she was breathing. She was. A girl with long, dirty blonde hair was on her knees, rubbing her head and moaning.

"Is she dead?" Ginny limped over and asked.

Remus shook his head. "No, just knocked out. I can revive her."

But Remus was distracted as Ron began giggling feebly.

"What happened to him?"

Ginny just shook her head and dropped to the ground, clutching her ankle. Remus revived Hermione. She looked deathly pale and a little blood was trickling down the corner of her mouth. She blinked several times and gingerly sat up.

"Where – Where am I?" She asked, clearly dazed. "Harry! The Death Eaters! The prophecy! We've got to save him! Somebody –" She had realized where she was.

"It's ok Hermione, calm down. Everything is fine, Dumbledore is here. He's taken care of everything." Remus lied. He didn't think it wise to upset Hermione, especially since she had just been revived and was in clear need of the hospital. Hermione bought Remus' lie and laid back down. "Here, let's see if we can bandage up that ankle." Remus told Ginny. He conjured up some bandages and wrapped her ankle the best he could. "That should do until we get to Madam Pomfrey." He said.

Ginny smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"No problem." He said, forcing a false smile. He then turned to the blonde girl. "Are you all right?" He asked.

She nodded. "I think so but I think the biblitonias in my brain got a bit shaken."

Remus gave her a very odd look. What in the world were biblitonias? She must have been hit pretty hard.

The girl seemed to have read Remus' mind. "Biblitonias are the little people that live in your brain and tell you what to feel." She informed him.

"Oh, is that right?" Remus said lightly, turning to look at Ginny.

"Don't ask." She mouthed and Remus nodded.

"Hey, you're a werewolf aren't you?" She asked interestingly.

Remus was very shocked by this statement. For one, this wasn't really the time or place to be chit chatting and for another, how on earth did she know he was a werewolf?

"You're that Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher I had in second year. They said you left because you were a werewolf and that you had ate a student. Is that true?" She asked. She seemed like a funny girl.

Remus couldn't really remember the girl but her face did strike him as familiar.

"I think we should get Ron to Madam Pomfrey." Ginny said, rescuing Remus from an awkward situation.

Remus mouth a "thank you" to Ginny and went over to inspect Ron who was giggling madly.

"Hey, you got loads of scratches on you." He said, his eyes were glazed over and there was a dry stream of blood at the corner of his mouth. "Did a wittle kitty cat scratch you up?" He asked, giggling more.

"Uh…let's get you to the hospital quickly." Remus said as he hoisted Ron up. Ron's knees wobbled dangerously and Remus put his arm around Ron's waist and grabbed Ron's arm and wrapped it around his neck. "Hermione, are you okay to walk or should I conjure up a stretcher?" He asked.

"I think I can walk." She said softly. She slowly got up with Neville's assistance.

Remus turned towards the odd blonde girl. "Are you okay to walk?" He asked.

She gazed at him with awe and nodded silently. "My name's Luna by the way, Luna Lovegood." She said as she got up and walked towards Ginny and helped her.

Remus had never met a stranger girl.

A/N: So, what did you think? Please let me know. I hope you all liked it, I had loads of fun writing this chapter. So please please review! And don't worry, I swear the kiss is soooo close, you can almost taste it!


	20. A Shoulder To Cry On

Disclaimer: Nope, I'm still same old me, I'm not J.K. Rowling, who is a genious and one of my heroes who I look up to.

A/N: Thank you so much you guys for your reviews. I read every single one and I get sostoked when you guys say that I've done the HP series justice and that you like my writing. So I hope you guys will still think that after this chapter so read on.

Remus re-entered the room with the sunken floor and descending stone benches and stairs with Hermoine, Neville, Ginny, Luna and Ron. Kingsley seemed to be hurt, but not too badly, Moody was still over Tonks who was still unconscious and in the middle of the sunken floor were about a dozen or more Death Eaters all bound up by Dumbledore's spell. Remus purposely avoided looking at the archway or veil.

"Are they all right?" Kingsley asked, wincing slightly as he limped towards them.

"I think so, but this one," Remus inclined his head towards Ron who he was still supporting, "I think needs to be taken to Madam Pomfrey immediately."

Ron giggled. "Pomfrey? That's a funny name." And he started laughing and Remus had to re-double his grip on him before he could slump over on the floor.

Kingsley raised his eyebrows at Ron. "I see."

"You're Kingsley Shacklebolt, aren't you?" The girl called Luna asked from somewhere behind Remus.

Remus and Kingsley turned to look at her. How did this girl know everything? No way could she be an Occlumens.

"You work for the Ministry," She said. "Did you know that Fudge has his own army?"

"Where's Harry?" Ginny interrupted her.

That was a good question. Remus hadn't the faintest idea where Harry was, exactly. He had threatened to kill Bellatrix but what if she had killed him first? What if he was lying, dead somewhere? But wait, Dumbledore had gone after him, Harry was safe. This thought comforted Remus a great deal. Before Remus could answer Ginny, a man came through the door. He had on scarlet robes and had a long ponytail.

"Merlin's beard! It's true." He said, gawking at the pile of Death Eaters.

"Williamson." Kinglsey said, stepping forward carefully and taking Williamson's hand.

Williamson looked like he might faint. "What? How? What on earth happened?" He asked.

Kingsley looked from the Death Eaters to Williamson. "Well…You-Know-Who was here, along with several of his followers. We got most of them but I take it he escaped?"

Williamson shook his head, looking thunderstruck.

"If I may…" Remus interrupted. "We really need to get these children back to Hogwarts and to the Hospital Wing."

Williamson, who hadn't noticed anyone else, was startled a little. "You? You're that werewolf, aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Lay off Williamson, he's fine. And he's also right, we do need to get these children back to Hogwarts." Kingsley said firmly.

"Right, uh-just let me-let me go get Fudge." And he disappeared.

"Here, Kingsley, can you take Ron for a moment?" Remus asked.

"Sure." He said and with some difficulty, Kingsley managed to prop Ron up, despite being somewhat injured.

Remus walked over to where Moody lay hunched over Tonks. He heard him mutter several incantations.

"She'll need to be taken to St. Mungo's." Moody said before Remus had asked his question.

"Is she going to be all right?" Remus asked, he couldn't take it if something happened to Tonks as well.

"I think so, that spell Lestrange hit her with was might powerful but Tonks is strong, she'll pull through." Moody said.

Remus knelt down beside Moody and stared at the unconscious form of Tonks. She was awfully pale and she had a dried stream of blood that was issuing from her bottom lip.

"I'll escort the children back to Hogwarts if you want to take her to St. Mungo's." Moody offered, eyeing Remus with both eyes.

"Thank you." Remus said.

Moody gave a rare smile, got up and limped towards the children. Remus turned and stared at Tonks again. He pulled an old handkerchief out of the inside of his robes and licked it and rubbed off the dried blood and pushed some of the stray pink hairs out of her face. He then put one arm under her neck and the other under her waist and lifted her up gently and cradled her in his arms. Though she had been knocked out on the floor for at least a couple hours, she still felt warm. Remus was halfway up the stone steps when Fudge and Dumbledore entered the room. Fudge looked as if someone had just slapped him while Dumbledore looked calm and serene.

"And just where do you think you're going with one of my Aurors?" Fudge asked heatedly, eyeing Remus with dislike.

"I'm taking her to St. Mungo's. She's been knocked out and needs medical assistance." Remus replied coolly.

Fudge scoffed. "If you think I'm going to let a werewolf take one of my Aurors out of here just like that –"

"Remus is harmless Cornelius." Dumbledore interrupted. "Let him take young Tonks here to St. Mungo's while I take these children back to my school. I've told you everything tonight and I can only hope that this time, the Ministry will work with us and not against us. For now, the second war has indeed begun. Voldemort (Fudge shuddered at this name but Dumbledore ignored it) has shown himself and will indeed have more followers follow him and do his bidding. We all must stick together now; be united against the enemy."

Fudge looked at Remus holding Tonks sheepishly and diverted his eyes to the pile of Death Eaters. "V-Very well." He said and without another look at Remus, he descended the stone benches and towards the captive Death Eaters.

"Thank you Headmaster." Remus said.

Dumbledore smiled but it was a kind of sad smile. "You're welcome Remus. You best get Tonks to St. Mungo's." Remus obeyed and walked the rest of the way, past Dumbledore, through the door but before he had gotten very far, Dumbledore spoke again. "And Remus," Remus turned around so he was facing Dumbledore. "I'm so sorry about Sirius."

Remus nodded sadly and turned and walked away. He felt Dumbledore's eyes on him for a minute. Once Remus had exited the lifts, he went to one of the many fireplaces that lined the Ministry lobby and grabbed some Floo Powder that was lying in a bowl by one of them.

"St. Mungos." Remus said clearly.

The flames turned emerald green and Remus got in and was soon at St. Mungo's. The reception area wasn't nearly as crowded, as it had been when Arthur had been attacked. There were a few people. A tall, middle-aged wizard had a long, silver beard to rival Dumbledore's; the only difference was that the middle-aged wizard's beard continued to grow by the second. It was so long that it piled into a neat little formation at his feet. Another wizard was there but he seemed to be perfectly normal to Remus.

"Ah, Mr. Derwitz, a Healer will see you now." The blonde receptionist told the perfectly normal looking wizard.

He got up and when he opened his mouth, a squawk you might hear from some sort of bird issued out of his mouth. There were a few others but Remus didn't have time to notice them, he had to get Tonks to a Healer.

"I need help now." Remus said urgently.

The blonde receptionist looked up from her _Witch Weekly_. "Oh my – What happened?" She asked, coming around from her desk and towards Remus and the unconscious Tonks.

Remus was actually a little surprised at the receptionist's worry and professionalism. When he had been here to see Arthur, she talked in a bored voice and hardly noticed the patients.

"Wait right here, I'll go get a Healer." And she disappeared down the hall and returned a second later with a wizard in lime green robes and a clipboard; he was a Healer.

"This is Rodney Wilscabar, he's a Healer, and he'll take care of your girlfriend for you." The receptionist informed Remus.

Remus didn't even correct the receptionist and tell her that Tonks was not his girlfriend; he just wanted Tonks to be well.

"Here, lay her on this." Rodney said as a stretcher came floating their way. Remus laid Tonks gently onto it. "We'll have to run some tests and that sort but I think she's going to be fine." Rodney said as he bent down to lift Tonks' eyelids and examine her eyes. "You can wait here if you like. We'll tell you when you can see her."

Remus thanked the Healer and watched as Rodney led the stretcher and Tonks away, down the hall. Remus went over and sat on one of the rickety wooden chairs. His mind was racing. Was Tonks going to be okay? Was Harry okay? What was going to happen now? And Sirius – Remus suddenly felt numb. Sirius was gone…forever. He was never going to see his best friend ever again. Tears started forming in Remus' eyes again but he didn't force them down this time. He let them flow down his face, not bothering to wipe them away. Sirius was dead. The thought still brought a shock to Remus. Sirius was truly gone; he was never going to make one of his snide comments or witty jokes or even badmouth Snape ever again.

Remus still couldn't get the look on Sirius' face. It was mingled with fear and surprise, the look in his eyes, the way he fell…Remus would be haunted by this image for the rest of his life. Why did Sirius come? Why couldn't he have just stayed at Grimmauld Place like Snape asked him too? Remus buried his face in his hands and wept silently. First he had lost James and Lily and Peter; all to Voldemort and now his last true best friend was gone. Remus wasn't sure how much more loss and despair he could take, his heart had already been torn apart and now there was an even bigger hole missing from it. The image of Sirius being attacked then falling through the archway, through the veil replayed itself over and over again in Remus' mind. There was nothing for Remus to live for anymore. All of his best friends he had known since he was a child were gone, he had nobody left.

Suddenly, Tonks sprang to his mind. Wait, he did have somebody left…Tonks. But he could never be with her, especially now. He couldn't risk or bear losing another person he had loved. But maybe that was just what he needed now, someone to love. Someone to come home to and hold and tell everything to. Maybe he _could_ allow himself to love Tonks. Remus' spirits rose very slightly only to be brought down again. Tonks was unconscious. Who was to say that she was going to for sure wake up? What if she was in this coma-like state forever? Remus cried more into his hands and wished that he had died along with Sirius tonight.

Remus didn't know exactly how long he had been sitting there, pondering his thoughts and crying silently until a hand on his shoulder made him jump.

"Sorry. But they say you can go see your girlfriend now. She's going to be fine. The Healers say she's going to pull through. She's still unconscious but she should be up soon." The blonde receptionist said gently.

Remus couldn't help but smile. "Thank you."

The receptionist smiled back. "She's on the fourth floor, Nesser ward."

Remus left the reception area and walked down the halls that were lit by crystal bubbles full of candles. He reached the fourth floor, occasionally meeting a Healer on his way, and went to the Nesser ward. The ward was nothing like Arthur's had been. This ward was very big and had two large windows that illuminated the dawn sky. There were 3 other people occupying the beds, asleep, but Remus found Tonks no problem; that pink hair wasn't exactly inconspicuous. She was laid down at the very last bed in the back. She didn't look as pale as she had been but she wasn't her full color yet. She looked so peaceful, lying there. Remus decided to draw the curtains around her bed; he was a very private person. After the curtains were drawn, he grabbed a chair that was sitting by her bed and sat down right by her. He brushed some stray hairs away from her face and took her hand in his and stroked it with his other hand.

"The Healers say you're going to be just fine." He told her quietly. He knew it was somewhat silly to be talking to someone who was unconscious but somehow, he got the feeling that Tonks was listening to every word he said. "You really did some wonderful dueling tonight, Tonks. I gotta say, you really impressed me. But don't worry, Harry and the others are just fine." Remus' voice started to break a little. He continued stroking her hand. "And…there's, something else…" He started crying again, the tears blurring up his vision but he dare not let go of Tonks' hand. "Sirius…well…he, he took on Bellatrix after she knocked you out and he – he…lost." Remus said ever so quietly praying that if he didn't say it too loud it wouldn't make it true but he knew this was foolish to think. "He's gone, Tonks." Remus cried more heavily. "I'm so sorry T-Tonks, I sh-should have do-done something." Remus couldn't have stopped crying even if he had wanted to. "P-Please forgive m-me T-Tonks. I sh-should have done some-something."

Remus had felt a new emotion: guilt. Well, it wasn't exactly a new emotion but he hadn't felt guilty about Sirius' death until now. He should have dueled Bellatrix. Why didn't he? Why didn't he just take her on after what she did to Tonks? He could have stepped in and taken her. But no, he allowed Sirius to duel Bellatrix. Remus was so wrapped up in his guilt that he didn't notice the hand in his, move slightly or the soft moans of someone waking up.

"Remus?"

Remus immediately stopped crying and stared at the now awake Tonks.

"Tonks! You're awake!" Remus couldn't believe his eyes. She was awake, she was awake! "Oh, I'm so glad you're awake!" He said and he wrapped Tonks up in a tight, hug and never wanted to let her go.

"Glad to see that you missed me." She said, returning Remus' hug.

The two just held each other for several minutes. Remus forgot about his guilt, his sadness and depression and even about Sirius' death for a split second. All that was in his mind was that Tonks was here and she was okay and she was in his arms. It was when they broke apart that all the sadness and events of that night came flooding back to him.

"What were you saying about Sirius?" Tonks asked sitting up, still allowing Remus to hold her hand in his.

"You heard me?" Remus asked.

"Of course I did and I wanted to badly to speak to you but I couldn't…it was like I was trapped." She said with a confused expression on her face but she shook her head and looked back at Remus. "But what were you saying about Sirius and Bellatrix? They dueled? I bet Sirius showed her." Tonks said with a satisfied smile.

Remus felt even guiltier now. "Uh…listen Tonks…Sirius is…well he's…Tonks, Sirius is dead." Remus said, forcing himself to look into Tonks' eyes. He deserved to be blamed and he would allow her to yell at him and hit him if she desired.

But Tonks' eyes didn't stare back at Remus' accusingly or even angrily. They were flooded with tears and sadness and her mouth was slightly open.

"What?" She whispered.

"Sirius is…dead." Remus repeated. Just saying it hurt him and tears also started welling up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry Tonks." He said quietly.

Tonks buried herself in Remus' arms and Remus just held her closely, both crying.

"But how?" She asked tearfully, raising her head from Remus' embrace.

Remus didn't really want to recount what had happened but Tonks of all people had the right to know, she was Sirius' family after all. Remus tearfully told Tonks how Sirius had died.

"I'm so sorry Tonks." Remus finished. "I should have stopped him, I should have dueled Bellatrix instead. I'm so sorry." Remus said sincerely, meaning every single word.

"It's not your fault Remus." Tonks said raising her hand and wiping several tears away from Remus' face. "Don't you dare think it's your fault." She said staring into Remus' eyes.

"But I –"

"You didn't do anything. Sirius would be proud of you and I know for a fact that he wouldn't want you to blame yourself." She sniffed, stroked Remus' hair gently.

Remus knew Tonks was right but he still felt somewhat responsible for Sirius' death. He just stared at her for a minute and wiped some stray tears away from her cheek. Somehow, telling Tonks how Sirius had died and talking about it, lessened the pain. He didn't feel as sad and depressed as he had been. He actually felt a little hopeful. Maybe things would turn out for the better, maybe everything could be and would be okay. Remus knew Sirius wouldn't want anybody mourning his death; he'd want them all to continue living and he would want Remus to remember the good times they had had together and he would want Remus to be happy…right?

"You know," Tonks said, tearing Remus away from his thoughts. "I don't think Sirius would have wanted us to cry and be sad." She said, voicing Remus' thoughts out loud.

"You know, I think you're right." Remus said. He still felt immensely sad that his friend was gone and knew it would take a long time before he could truly get over what had happened that night.

Tonks smiled a little and inclined her head towards Remus'. Remus knew what she was trying to do; yet he didn't pull away from her. He did quite the opposite; he inclined his head towards hers. He knew he shouldn't be doing this; this was wrong, way wrong. He was too old too poor and he was dangerous so why was he approaching Tonks' lips with his own? Why didn't he stop himself? Because with Sirius gone, it seemed nothing mattered anymore. So what if Remus kissed Tonks? What harm could it do? For once in his life, Remus was actually considering Sirius' advice. "_I don't see why you two don't snog already. She loves you. She doesn't care about your 'furry little problem'. You know, you're hurting yourself as well as her."_ Sirius' voice echoed in Remus' mind. Maybe Sirius was right.

Remus made up his mind and inclined his head further; Tonks did likewise. Their lips met and Remus tasted Tonks' lips on his own. Her lips were soft and her kisses were passionate yet gentle. Remus didn't know how he had lived without her. Her tongue swept his lips softly and he parted them to allow her entry. Her tongue met his own and it was like a burst of Filibuster's Fireworks had gone off in Remus' mouth. He brushed his hand softly up her cheek and through her soft, pink hair. She stroked his hair softly and affectionately. Remus was glad he had drawn the curtains around Tonks' bed earlier; he was a private person after all.

A/N: Well, there you go, the kiss you've all been dying for. I've had the kiss planned out from the beginning. I personally think that Remus and Tonks shared their first kiss in St. Mungo's but that's just me and my opnion. I hope the kiss was timed right and sorry I didn't go into too much detail with the kiss, this story is rated T after all, lol. Anyways, please please please review, I'm dying to know what you all thought of it.


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